Friday, February 18, 2011

Tolstoy - War and Peace

"classical reading re: wwII"


"SIGH! What a bore! The book tries countless amounts of times to tickle my fancy, failing miserably every time."


"funny how a book can be famous by tyhe pure and simple fact that it is extremely long and barely anyone has read it from cover to cover. i got to the second page then gave up; i only got it as a laugh out of a charity shop"


"Who reads thick books? Not me."


"The problem with war and peace is its alot about war"


"I love to read and have often read books in a single sitting. This 'Classic' book is so long that it wouldn't be easy to read in one sitting even for the fastest speed-reader."


"Written for a different time/cultural background, etc.
Might have been good in it's time, but the language structure is not really accesible by modern readers."


"That guy seriously needed an editor with a forceful personality, as his most famous books are far too long."


"The book is no doubt a work of art as far as the cannon is concerned, but as a sit-down enjoyable piece of literature for today's society and advancement, it's outdated. In my humble opinion It's not a timeless piece."


"What can I say? If I had to hear one more 3 page description of tapestries I was going to have to put a gun barrel in my mouth!"


"WHY CANT THEY JUST USE THE PERSONS FIRST NAME?!?!"


"I found this book to be truly boring at certain points. The huge vocabulary and weird language in english made it harder to actually depict what the writer is trying to say. Its amazing that ths book is truly long and took me a while to read part of this book.

The way the author wrote this book, I find is amazingly hard compare to other great classic novels I read. This novel takes about the war that was going against the Russians. The war has some effect to actually depict the scenes of going to war and becoming at peace at last."


"This type of literature is not going to hold an audience anymore. So many people have the opportunity to live interesting lives nowadays why would they stop to read a novel of this length about a bunch of fictional charaters when they could be spending the time actually LIVING their own lives?"


"There's no such thing as a great novel
While cultural pundits try to convince you that some literature is better than other literature, the truth is that all art is relative to individial tastes. Thus, it doesn't make any sense to think that a novel like this one is really any better than say, Michael Crichton or Stephen King. Aesthetic standards can't be grounded.

Thus, don't listen to anyone who tries to distinguish between 'serious' works of literature like this one and allegedly 'lesser' novels. The distinction is entirely illusory, because no novels are 'better' than any others, and the concept of a 'great novel' is an intellectual hoax."


"While our Lord said the meek will inherit the earth did He really mean reverse Darwinism would play out leaving our globe popuated by cockroaches? The French version of the Bible translates the word 'meek' as 'debonnier,' the later meaning implies one who accepts Creation with some modicum of grace."


"'Atlas Shrugged' (1951) was the last 'great' novel."


"This is without a doubt the most overrated novel in history. I have been struggling to get through it for 20 years (true story... I started reading this dreck in 1984) and I'm just now 1/2 way through. How this long-winded pointless book became known as one of the great novels is beyond me."


"The characters are pathetic, not unrealistic, mind you , but just weak and puny in the way they think and live. Most of them are of the aristocratic class with large amounts of money, throwing parties and the like to impress one another. I am sure Bret Easton Ellis would have a field day with the social elite that inhabit War and Peace"

AH YES, IF ONLY WE COULD HAVE WAR AND PEACE AS CONCEIVED BY THAT VISIONARY OF INSIGHTFUL AND MULTIFACETED SOCIAL CRITIQUE, BRET EASTON ELLIS. PERHAPS I COULD SCRATCH OUT A PITIFUL SKETCH OF THIS GLIMMERING MIRAGE WHICH SHINES THROUGH TO US, ON THE EDGE OF OUR VISION, FROM SOME GOLDEN WORLD THAT NEVER WAS:

WAR AND PEACE

BY BRET EASTON ELLIS

PRINCE ANDREI, WHO WAS WEARING A PALE BLUE COLLARED SHIRT WITH THE COLLAR FOLDED IN A WAY THAT MADE HIM LOOK PRETTY COOL, SNORTED UP HIS CUSTOMARY BREAKFAST, EIGHT LINES OF COKE, AND LOOKED AT THE BILLBOARD IN FRONT OF HIS ESTATE. "BUY CONSUMER GOODS," IT SAID. PRINCE ANDREI WOULD OFTEN LOOK FOR HOURS AT THIS BILLBOARD. IT GAVE HIM A FEELING OF DEEP AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE FEAR, FEAR THAT HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, BUT THAT WAS PROBABLY RELATED TO THE MESSAGE THE BILLBOARD CONVEYED CONCERNING CONSUMER GOODS.

HE TOOK A BOTTLE OF 120 PROOF VODKA FROM THE CABINET AND SAT ON THE LOVESEAT, DRINKING A LOT OF VODKA. HE TURNED ON MTV AND LOST HIMSELF IN THE HYPNOTIZING FORCES OF POPULAR CULTURE THAT MTV REPRESENTS IN THIS, MY NOVEL ABOUT THE MODERN WORLD. HE WATCHED VIDEO AFTER VIDEO. HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME WAS PASSING BUT IT WAS PROBABLY A LOT OF TIME. AT SOME POINT A VIDEO BY THE BAND LED ZEPPELIN CAME ON. ANDREI PICKED UP THE BEAT AND STARTED TO NOD HIS HEAD. "I REALLY LIKE LED ZEPPELIN," HE SAID TO HIMSELF. IF ANY READERS OF MY BOOK ARE ALSO INTO LED ZEPPELIN PLEASE CONTACT BRET EASTON ELLIS AT THE EMAIL PROVIDED ON THE DUST JACKET AND MAYBE WE CAN CHILL. YOU KNOW, HANG OUT. SMOKE A SPLIFF. TALK ABOUT WHATEVER.

SUDDENLY PRINCE ANDREI'S BEST FRIEND COUNT PIERRE BEZUKHOV BURST IN WITH THE REMAINS OF A CHILD PROSTITUTE DANGLING FROM HIS GENITALS. "ANDREI, BRO," SAID PIERRE, "WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?"

PRINCE ANDREI DIDN'T HAVE ANY PLANS AND DIDN'T FEEL MUCH LIKE WATCHING MORE MTV SO HE GOT IN THE CARRIAGE WITH PIERRE AND PIERRE PICKED UP SPEED AND GOT ONTO THE ROAD.

"HEY PIERRE," SAID ANDREI UNEMOTIONALLY, "WHERE ARE WE GOING?"

"I DON'T KNOW, BROMEISTER," SAID PIERRE.

"BUT THIS ROAD DOESN'T GO ANYWHERE."

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, BROSTOEVSKY."

"THEN...... WHAT IS IMPORTANT, PIERRE?"

"JUST THAT WE'RE ON IT, DUDE. JUST THAT WE'RE ON IT."






...............FUCK YOU

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