Monday, July 30, 2012

THE BEST OF JULY

FAULKNER - ABSALOM, ABSALOM!

"Sweet Lord Jesus. This was the toughest book I have ever read. I tried to be openminded, really I did. But I just don't get how Faulkner ever became such an acclaimed writer. The English teacher in me can't get my mind off all the spelling mistakes and punctuation errors and the five mile sentences. Why purposely write a book that is going to confuse your readers?"


TOLSTOY - ANNA KARENINA

"Almost every night, my husband comes to bed and finds me passed out with a book open and my glasses still on my face. He gently removes the glasses, pulls the book away and sets them both on the nightstand. Last night, he picks up Anna Karenina and the following conversation ensues:
Him - 'That's a big book! Have you really read 500 pages?'
I reply in a sleepy voice, 'yeah. it sucks.'
Him - 'It looks boring as fuck.'
Me - sleepy giggle
He says, 'It looks like some romance/wuthering heights bullshit. You, know, 'stuffy.' In his best uppity Victorian voice, says, 'Anna gets banged in the garden by some honeysuckle.'
Me - cracking up
Him - 'Who wrote that?'
Me - 'Tolstoy'
Together, at the same time, we say, 'War and Peace'
Him - 'Dude is obviously one long-winded motherfucker!'
Me - laughing hysterically. (he has made a valid point!)"

"A mistake. The cover of the book I read was of a girl's bare knees holding flowers. Now I know one should not judge a book by its cover, but I assumed Anna Karenina was going to be a story of a girl growing to adulthood ... But who am I to tell Tolstoy he blew it on this one?"


SHAKESPEARE - TROILUS AND CRESSIDA

"Yes, I can think of many reasons why Cressida was not the total whore she might look like, but I'll somehow feel like a dupe who tries to justify Bill while he clearly messed up."


HURSTON - THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD

"It is boring because it is about a topic that no one cares for."

"If you're a fan of African-American literature, or literature about how much women suffered back in the day, then this probably holds some interest. If you're not, consider this literary ebola. I'm *really* not the target audience on this one, as I'm a white male, and one who primarily reads fantasy and horror at that, so I found the plot to be *beyond* repetitive."

"It was terrible. The biggest reason, the dialog. The terrible terrible dialog. Hurston was probably never educated as to the good and bad of dialog"

"Am I biased? Yes, completely, I think that the work of women does not compare favorably to what men have achieved in letters ... But there is the converse....I mean, how many great wives, how many good stay-at-home moms have been men?"

"This book makes one root fot the Klan"

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Zora Neale Hurston - Their Eyes Were Watching God IV

"The story was created just so Mrs. Hurston could use 'black vernacular' or ebonix of the early 1900's. The sharp contrast between the ebonix and nornmal English narrative was NOT, in my opinion, a great literary device. It was neither educational nor informative to read long sections of dialogue like the sentence in the title of this review. Forcing myself to read improper English, to say the least, for an English class was very annoying. I don't think any educator would want me to write or speak like the dialogue in this book, so what is the point of reading it? The story was powerful and moving, but only if it had been written in English. Ah reckon dis be de en' of de review. Ah be wishin' dat Ah ain't gointuh hafta read nuttin' lak dis again. Isn't dis annoyin' yuh, imagine 200 pages of dis."


"The story didn't start off good for me because its a book written mainly for women and I am a man who enjoys a Tom Clancy novel"


"It is boring because it is about a topic that no one cares for. Stop speaking in ebonics."


"Perhaps the most flawed aspect of Eyes is that it is not written in English. I refuse to concede that the overdone vernacular dialogue contained within is English, particularly as it is fraught with inconsistencies: 'lak' and 'like' are used interchangeably, as are 'yo'' and 'you' and 'mouth' and 'mouf,' adding to the confusion of any reader unfortunate enough to be slogging through the conversations ... Dreadful as the language may be, it at least provides the perfect word to describe the entire book: monstropolous. (My inability to find it in a dictionary strengthens my suspicions that Eyes is written in a language loosely based on, but inferior in structure and consistency to, English.)"


"I feel sorry for any person who has to read this 'book'"


"i wish i could erase all copies of this book from existence
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH NOT LETTING US RATE IT AS A ZERO. WISH I COULD HAVE. this book was a burden on my soul, then entire time i was forced to read it. it drivels on in such a manner as to make the novel a complete horror to read ... it was such a blandly written piece of trash that a four year old could understand it and hate it as well ... myself and about 30 of my classmates would rather be punched in the gut than forced to think about this for another second. why write a review if i hate it so much you ask? i'll tell you why...it's really late and i'm bored. i'm writing a letter to my teacher and i needed to know how to spell the author's name, so i came here. so to anyone out there that doesn't just think things are good because someone says they are...don't touch this silly novel for the life of you. i'm done now, you can all tell me taht this didn't help you now, to get it off the list of reviews, and how pathetic is that? are you that insecure about the quality of your novel? you should be."


"The author writes in a dialect that is barely legible and makes the story less important than the dialogue. Yes, we get the point - now... can you write in English so I can understand each sentence the first time I read it?"


"Their Eyes Were Reading Boobery
Unless you are an immature tramp I cannot fathom how you could enjoy, relate or even read this nonsense ... That people think this is a great book betrays how foolish the reading public are; seriously, just stick to what Oprah tells you to read, or better, simply plop down in front of the television and watch 'reality.'
...
Am I biased? Yes, completely, I think that the work of women does not compare favorably to what men have achieved in letters ... But there is the converse....I mean, how many great wives, how many good stay-at-home moms have been men?"

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Zora Neale Hurston - Their Eyes Were Watching God III

"A dog with rabies comes out of nowhere, floats up to the guy, bites him, and then floats away into the night.

I still laugh thinking about it."


"Janie (main character) seems to be a tramp who is looking for any guy to please her desires. She hops from one man to another just by their appearance."


"I wouldn't recommend this book to most people because most people I know are part of my race and culture (most but not all), and I feel like it is hard for us to relate and/or identify with Janie."


"I'm not IN liberal arts college anymore; I shouldn't have to READ these sorts of things now ... It's a modern literary classic, and so I feel a rather poor English major for not enjoying it more than I did."


"Janie Crawford is a very obnoxious, outspoken woman"


"It was terrible. The biggest reason, the dialog. The terrible terrible dialog. Hurston was probably never educated as to the good and bad of dialog, but if all your conversation is in that southern dialect,and words are spelled based on their phonetic sound and not because of their actual spelling, well after a few hundred pages reading the book was like nails on a chalk board. This was one of the first things taught to me as a CRW 3013 student ... I believe I took an oath then, back in high school, to never right like that. To never force that punishment on a reader."


"I've never cared for southern accents, anyway. Most of them are irritating."


"One thing I really get annoyed by African-American fiction books from that period of time is that it was common to abuse the English language. My head started hurting from reading all the purposely misspelled words and pronunciations. I know black people of that time and region may not have had the best vocabulary and enunciation but this was ridiculous. I usually like dialogue but this time around, I was begging for the narrator to talk so I didn't have to read the abusive ways to spell words."


"Here's an example that stirred my hormones: 'The men noticed her firm buttocks like she had grape fruits in her hip pockets; the great rope of black hair swinging to her waist and unraveling in the wind like a plume; then her pugnacious breasts trying to bore holes in her shirt. They, the men, were saving with the mind what they lost with the eye...' (pg 2).
Unfortunately the story line didn't follow in the same tradition."


"She marries with little or no consideration, walks out on marriages, and seems unimpeded by either long-distance train fare, Jack Crow laws, or, for that matter, the conventions of standard English."


"After reading this book, I felt as if my intellectual freedom had been ground under by the iron boot of PC liberal thuggery. It's a sad, sad day for literature when a book like this can actually be required reading in schools. It lacked form, character development, and grammatical elegance. Most of all, it attempted to beat the reader to death with the 'plight' of the author."


"This book makes one root fot the Klan"

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Zora Neale Hurston - Their Eyes Were Watching God II

"the denoument was waaayy late in this book."


"I don't fully remember reading this book, but I think I did. And I'm pretty sure it's lame."


"The dialect used in the book ruined it for me. I like proper grammar too much! :D"


"If you're into this book, then good for you, I'm sure you'll make a woman really happy someday."


"one word de-press-ing. too many mishaps, and misfortunes for me to truly enjoy."


"It wasn't deep enough to change me. Meh."


"I'm not a fan of dialect books (Huck Finn, be damned!) ... (If any of my lit professors ever read this review, they may never speak to me again. What lit major doesn't appreciate dialect writing?!)"


"I understand it's grand when talking about black American lit - especially by a woman - but it's just not, in my very humble opinion, all that...good."


"I didn't really understand the point of it. I know it's supposed to be feminist and political and all that, but... ::sigh::"


"incorrect English"


"I felt like this was a pretty typical story of the black woman who overcomes all sorts of hardships and obstacles. The resentment towards whites and men is really what turns me off though."


"I got tired of da po' black folk writing quite quickly."


"I was forced to read every dialect-infected word of it."


"It is written in 'slave language'"


"I absolutely could not get past the dialect in this book. Every character sounded like a complete moron no matter what they were saying"


"the title should read 'dey eyez wuz watchin god.' i really can't stand reading dialect. i have an imagination, you don't have to spell things phonetically for me to understand that there is an accent involved. words like 'ain't' and other improper grammar ('they's,' we be, etc.) i can handle. but don't insult me."

HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME WITH YOUR SLAVE LANGUAGE

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Zora Neale Hurston - Their Eyes Were Watching God

"Errrghhhhh. I'm black. And a whore. Life sucks, feel bad for me."


"terrible. simply terrible."


"Some pieces of history should remain distant and forgotten."


"So bad. Just so, so bad."


"You have to go. through. every. word. one. by. fucking. one."


"I gave up ... I read some of the spoilers, and Janie seems like the kind of protagonist that usually makes me want to scream ... Janie seemed precociously sexual ... I could just tell that this was going to head down the road of some tragic Woman Who Loves Men Who Hate Women plot. No, thank you!"


"This book was not great because it did not interest me as much as some other people i will come across."


"I realize this is a classic, but why? A story about a flighty, immature women who finally finds 'love' (i.e. LUST) in an equally immature and controlling man? Not exactly Romantic. The story seems scrambled and unrelatable. Not really what I would consider a great novel."


"If you're a fan of African-American literature, or literature about how much women suffered back in the day, then this probably holds some interest. If you're not, consider this literary ebola. I'm *really* not the target audience on this one, as I'm a white male, and one who primarily reads fantasy and horror at that, so I found the plot to be *beyond* repetitive."


"This novel is nothing more than a book showcasing the worst aspects about one's ethnic and racial group. (The incident with the mule, Jody's control of the town, and even the characters dismissal of those 'Indians' makes the characters unlikable and ignorant)"


"Tea-Cake is a patently ridiculous name for any place and era."


"I have no idea why I read well over 3/4 of this book before toasting it. The only sense that this book is a 'classic' is that it is a classic example of how not to write a book. UGH! Thanks Jen for making me come to my senses and toast this book (I should have talked to you sooner!)"


"I couldn't force myself to read it so I probably just read a synopsis on the internet. This book did not contribute to my education one bit."


"I wanted to read this one...I tried to read this one and got a headache from my mind sounding out the words. She writes so that the characters sound like they have a heavy southern accent mixed with bad grammar which makes reading it a challenge. While I was reading I was translating it into English and that is not something I want to do when I am ready to read after along day. too tiring. Next."


"It's an obnoxious device that only serves to make any semblance of meaning completely opaque and causes all of the characters to sound like illiterate oafs. 'Love is lak da sea,' my ass."


"Never in my life have I read a worse book ... Even if you understand the incomprehensible english, still pass on this book. It's just that bad."

Friday, July 20, 2012

Shakespeare - Troilus and Cressida II

"I'm relatively okay with reading Shakespeare's works, I know their classics and the famous screen writer was very talented"


"Yes, I can think of many reasons why Cressida was not the total whore she might look like, but I'll somehow feel like a dupe who tries to justify Bill while he clearly messed up"


"Bill has another clunker here. Much like The Two Gentlemen of Verona the characters (and there are buckets of them) inexplicably change their minds for now apparent reason. Cressida, though not necessarily a slut, sees another boy at the sock hop and immediately seems to forget that she was just making out with Troilus underneath the bleachers.

The love story seems secondary the posturing of Hector, the Trojan warrior, and the various Greek challengers. I was not able to form an alliance with any of these soldiers. For all I care they could all kill each other willy-nilly.

Give this one a pass."


"Am I dumb because I didn't pick up on the nihilistic/relativistic thing? I keep hearing that's what this is about, but I frankly don't see any textual evidence of this (or any evidence of the relativity of values outside of the text)."

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Tolstoy - Anna Karenina V

"A classic, which equals long with lots of context that even a history major won't get."


"The emperor does not have any clothes on! I do not understand how people can think this is a great novel. Nothing about this book makes sense to me ... It seemed like the author was getting paid by the word because most of the words in this book are superfluous."


"Ok, so she throws herself in front of a train? Really? Depressing book."


"If you want to read a story that takes twenty pages to describe something that a modern day writer would only need one page to do, then this book is for you!!"


"this book was B-O-R-I-N-G!!!"


"I don't know why everybody thinks this is great literature. If it weren't Tolstoy, everybody would see it for what it is--a soap opera in print."


"Absolutely the biggest waste of time! It wasn't the size that scared me, but it was so 'dry'. No feeling, no emotions what so ever! So boring, it would put me to sleep. From the very beginning, I felt like it was a very shallow & blah-blah-blah book.....There wasn't a character that I really cared about, except Anna Karenina. ONLY because that is what the title of the book is! The best love-affair ever written, no way! It might have been a scandelous book back in the day, but a total bore. And Levin talking and talking about farming, politics & his religious believes - it was so ridiculous. What got me was Tolstoy would write what the characters are thinking. But when he put in the book what Levin's dog was thinking, I just about threw the book away! Tolstoy NEVER could express emotions in his way of writting on any of these characters. Someone tell me what the big deal is."


"I found the book to be incredibly boring and hard to follow. There were too many details, none of which were that interesting. I kept skipping through pages of words that seemed to drone on and on just to finish the story. It was a tedious text and extremely disappointing."


"This book is 'the best novel ever written.' Of course, the people who say this also rave about James Joyce."


"This 80000000000000000000 page 'book' isn't just boring and depressing, it's frighteningly so. Tolstoy wasn't just writing a boring book, he was trying to convince us that life is boring and dull ... He has here milked life of all it's flavor and left us a soggy tale to digest ... This so-called classic WREAKS......."


"We must ask the question is this a novel of greatness or is it just a long Mills and Boon piece of flummery. The answer is in the book is a tabloid love story.
Leo was the ugly kid at school, the kid who got left out of games. When he got older the girls would laugh at him, he would be the last one standing at a dance. Girls would make up excuses to leave him of their dance cards.

His revenge for the terror of his childhood? This book is he revenge for his childhood."


"As I (apparently memorably) said in my book group, this is the kind of book that gives classics a bad name."


"many of the characters are immoral and scandalous."


"Seriously, Tolstoy, edit."

Monday, July 16, 2012

Tolstoy - Anna Karenina IV

"why in the world does he constantly refer to characters by their entire names?"


"it is completely confusing with everyone having two or more names"


"why use 100 words if it can be said in 50? maybe it's the business world rubbing off on me. we are taught to get our point across in as few words as possible. anna k was excessively wordy to me. and (to me) the added language muddled it up."


"Inference is a necessity. I had no idea two of the characters were having an affair until they had a baby!"


"What a bizarre story, I'm still not quite sure what the point was."

YEAH, TOLSTOY'S PRETTY AMBIGUOUS AT THE END, THERE, HUH


"Oh my word, talk about an annoying, whiner, my word, when that train scene happened, thank god."


"There were some good parts, like when Anna died."


"There were hundreds of pages I couldn't even tell you what they were about and were in my opnion unnecessary due to the fact that I don't remember them."


"To quote Liz Lemon on the seminal comedy 30 Rock, 'blergh'."


"While this book may be considered a classic, it just simply is not good. Tolstoy wrote to write a long book. That's the only reason."


"If you enjoy sitting through tea parties or your grandpa's hunting stories, then this may be the book for you. However, since it's the 21st century now, the only part of this book even close to relevant is the romance"


"I propose a petition to burn all Anna Karenina novels from the face of the earth and implement a law of 10 years in prison if caught with this novel in your possession. There, I said it..."


"How can anybody like this book? Whoever said this is the best classic ever written must be truly brain-dead. What could be enjoyable about a book that primarily consists of a guide on:
a) how to cut grass,
b) how to hunt bear, and
c) how to abandon your own kid for a gigolo.
If I wanted all that stuff I would have read Farmers Almanac."

ESPECIALLY FOR NUMBER THREE


"As much as I hate this book, I have to admit-if Tolstoy wrote it in an attempt to get on people's nerves, he succeeded."


"While reviewing I must acknowledge that this book was written in an era when rules of the modern craft (show don't tell, use active verbs, stick to the point of view per scene, delete whatever is irrelevant to the story and many more) didn't apply. Tolstoy wasn't competing with TV and Hollywood those days."


"This book, written by the king of bore himself, and 811 pages long has got to be the most pointless book I have ever had to read. It's just about some woman's extra-marital affair with some guy and these two newlyweds' life together. Honestly I could care less. It has no excitement, not much of a thick plot, and is stifling in the reading experience. Which, by the way, was an experience in torture, endurance, and stamina. I wouldn't reccomend this book to any person who has things to do and people to see, it just didn't hold my attention and I didn't care about any of the characters because they were plausable and real."

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Tolstoy - Anna Karenina III

"I tried to read this book."


"I tried, I really tried."


"I tried. Oh, how I tried."


"I've tried. I really have."


"I tried, I really tried."


"I tried to read this, I really did."


"I wanted to shoot myself in the face to make the pain go away."


"The flaw with Anna Karenin (yes, this version is Karenin, not Karenina), is that Tolstoy took a stab at the ‘epiphany thing’ in the last 50 pages. Anna’s already dead and buried, the story lost its considerable head of steam and then the Russian Moralist kicked in with his weak, little stinger. War and Peace doesn’t have such a glaring flaw."

BAD BLUFF


"I was literally bored to tears."


"The story really should have been called Anna and thirty five other characters you need I remember."


"it was a sprawling over-dramatic soap opera that could possibly be a television series that women watch during the daytime."


"Throughout the book, despite having a love affair with Vronksy is told to be virtuous and what every woman in the upper class rings of the Russian elite should strive to be. My problem is that I don't think she's virtuous at all."


"If you read this, you have to remember that it's OK to skip large sections of the book. Especially when Levin starts thinking about the work ethic of the Russian peasants, or the various discussions of political theory, which have no place whatsoever in a book about adultery."


"Did I mention that we get to be inside all of the main characters' every thought and action when they are the focus? Not only do we have to 'listen' to Levin talk about farming we then have to read his inner dialogue about it for paragraphs at a time. *sigh* ... Great literature? No, just a long-winded Russian guy that received notoriety from other writers and now he will just not go away."


"WHO CARES? Who cares what your child's last name is!? When you're dead and Karenin is dead, what will it matter whether the child has his name and your estate?"


"A mistake. The cover of the book I read was of a girl's bare knees holding flowers. Now I know one should not judge a book by its cover, but I assumed Anna Karenina was going to be a story of a girl growing to adulthood ... But who am I to tell Tolstoy he blew it on this one?"


"Author man? Pick one name for your characters. Every man in this novel is called by three to four names. Confusing as anything. This has been called the greatest novel of all time, and to that, I say nonsense."

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tolstoy - Anna Karenina II

"Almost every night, my husband comes to bed and finds me passed out with a book open and my glasses still on my face. He gently removes the glasses, pulls the book away and sets them both on the nightstand. Last night, he picks up Anna Karenina and the following conversation ensues:
Him - 'That's a big book! Have you really read 500 pages?'
I reply in a sleepy voice, 'yeah. it sucks.'
Him - 'It looks boring as fuck.'
Me - sleepy giggle
He says, 'It looks like some romance/wuthering heights bullshit. You, know, 'stuffy.' In his best uppity Victorian voice, says, 'Anna gets banged in the garden by some honeysuckle.'
Me - cracking up
Him - 'Who wrote that?'
Me - 'Tolstoy'
Together, at the same time, we say, 'War and Peace'
Him - 'Dude is obviously one long-winded motherfucker!'
Me - laughing hysterically. (he has made a valid point!)"


"Sorry Leo. This book is one big FAIL for me."


"I choose this book for two reasons 1) It was on the list of greatest books ever written and 2) Miley Cyrus's character was reading it in the last song"


"UH, WHY DO I READ THESE BOOKS ABOUT ADULTROUS WOMEN WHO COMMIT SUICIDE? THEY'RE AWEFUL AND THEY DON'T END THERE, WE HAVE TO CONTINUE READING ABOUT THE AFTER MATH!"


"unimpressed with the entails of 'high society' and all their fornications."


"No matter how many times I try to read this (3x to this date)and no matter how many notes I take as I read, I still can't get beyond the first 50 pages.Does this make me a failure as an English Lit. major?"

AS AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY A FAILURE


"Jesus Christ... what a fucking challenge of a book. It was the Russian equivalent of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility or Pride And Prejudice. I've not read either but I imagine this is that I would expect it to be like."


"I'm not enjoying the idea of a young man flirting with a married woman or vice versa."


"The story sows seeds of distrust, resentment, and despair. I recommend NOT reading this book."


"Pure Torture. Make the Gitmo prisoners read this, and THEN they'd have a real case for torture..."


"Tolstoy was obviously privileged and was paid by the word."


"NEVER TO TRUST A BETRAYAL WIFE"

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Tolstoy - Anna Karenina

"My very manly brother, who rarely read classics, holding and reading a very thick book entitled Anna Karenina. 'What is that thick book? Why is he interested on that?' I thought to myself ... this book, even if the title bears a woman’s name and with flowers on its cover (at least this wonderful edition of mine), is not really a woman’s book."


"I have never met such an unlikable bunch of bunsholes in my life ... I started thinking of how much fun it would be to rewrite this book with a mad Stalin cleansing the whole bunch of them and sending them to a Gulag ... I finally had the momentary joy of Anna's suicide. Ecstasy! She was gone."


"When the Russian elite first read this idyll to their vanity, they must have fallen headlong into the reflecting pool right after Narcissus. For now, you see, not only are they rich and powerful, but according to Tolstoy they’re also supremely virtuous."


"After reading all 864 pages I can now say that it was absolutely NOT worth it. This is obviously a character driven book and not a plot driven book."


"Anna Karenina? She never became 'real' to me. I also had a problem with some of the choices she made e.g. going to see the opera singer when she and Vronsky were in Petersburg. I know this was a momumentally stupid thing for her to do since she was a married woman who was openly living with her lover but she seemed oblivious to that. Tolstoy didn't try to explain it. Was she so desperate to hear the singer that she ignored the consequences of going to the concert?"


"I might actually deserve a medal for finishing this book. I enjoy reading older books and I even enjoy reading books about Russia. This book however was incredibly dull."


"I just didn't care. Anna is a whore. Vronsky is a self-absorbed jag bag!
'Oh, but they are in love!' you say! I say, Gag me with a spoon!"


"Not deserves to be classic........."


"I always have a tough time feeling sympathy for a woman that cheats, gets pregnant, and then can't live with herself.... I mean really, why should I feel bad for her bad decisions? I think the saying goes, 'you've made your bed....' well, yeah, she kind of did, didn't she."


"The best way that I know how to sum up this book is that it is sooooooooo boring. I wish I could get back the part of my life that I wasted reading this book. Two thumbs down. If you tell me you actually enjoyed this book, I will tell you that you are a liar."


"How can Stephan Aaaa... long name sometimes be called Oblonsky? What the heck?"


"What an unsavory ending for this pre television-era soap opera! I'm glad I finished it so I can say I finished it but OMG. It was painfully lame."


"I don't even remember when the time period was or what the relevance was....and I love history."


"Anna Karenina is a book for people who whine. A book of whining. Dreadful amounts of whining."


"Completely overrated. Tolstoy didn't capture Russia of the 19th century worth a darn...lacking imagery, interesting detail, and even standout characters. Sheesh."

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Marcel Proust - In Search of Lost Time III

"Really for a story told in the first person by a precocious child whose greatest joy is to be tucked into bed and kissed by is mommy... this is about as good as it gets. The narrator goes on to describe myriad things that he could not have possibly been privy to, which is never explained despite the 600+ pages of room to explain such a thing. The writing is so terribly pedantic and rambling, that it is like a simile, a round and happy simile with a moustache and the unforgettable smell of an old barber shop, that has perhaps booked an airline ticket to some favourite place, only to learn that during the flight that it is hijacked by a giant and menacing metaphor and ummm... where was I? Oh yes, reviewing Proust. If you don't like me and you are pretty sure that I don't like you, please read this book... at least twice."


"Read all of Part 1. I consider this an achievement when reading the longest, most boring, whiny text in the history of mankind ... This is a terrible book that should only be read as some kind of mental BDSM play."


"Proust is sedentary. Dialog is mostly the talk at grand dinners. Action usually consists of going for a walk. These are hardly stock items for books written in the last century, which, if nothing else, features movement, dialog essential to that movement, and action based on incident.

I think the movies – or at least film – color the way novels are written in the modern world. The lengthy descriptions we find in Proust are not needed any more. I’ve never been to Paris, but I know what Paris looks like. And, as was often the case in Swan’s Way, I want the characters to do something. Move."


"I read it because I did a seminar on memory in literature at uni 7 years ago. Maybe if I read it back then, I might have been a bit more enthusiastic. As it is, I found the sentences way too long. And overall, as with 'Swann's Love' which I am currently abandoning, I think the narrator take a long time to say rather little.

I'm focused on content and...well...I understand that it is about regression or memory and remembering and so forth but, I guess I expected ..more for lack of a better word.

At least it had some homosexual content (which surprised me positively). But well...it's rather exhausting I think to read one sentence that runs over half the page."

Friday, July 6, 2012

Nikolai Gogol - The Nose

"It was confusing, and seemed to be moving in a pointless circle."


"Neither of us enjoyed it very much but we're quite certain the 'nose' was really 'something else.'"


"Ummm. Yeah. So, I think this must be some kind of allegory that you'd have to know a bit about Russian history to appreciate."


"There may be some historical significance to Nikolai Gogol's writing, but from a pure 'enjoyment' standpoint, this book is garbage."

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

William Faulkner - Absalom, Absalom! II

"I love Faulkner, but there is no need for the writing style to be like this."


"I haven't been this disappointed since they canceled Family Guy."


"My main problem was that the entire story was told through characters simply retelling a story. And the operative word here is 'told.' It comes down to the first fundamental rule of writing: Show don't tell."


"I'd say this is a 'broken' book...which means it is about characters or issues that lack integrity, honor, virtue, or whatever positive characteristic, but the author does not condone the actions and we see the negative fruit of their negative choices. (as opposed to a 'bent' book which is about the same types of characters, but supports their actions--not so good to read.)"


"apparently Faulkner never took those classes on English grammar the rest of us had to take."


"I call this book 'blabsalom, blabsalom'"


"I know it's not PC, but Faulkner's books are unreadable. IguessFaulknerfellasleepduringEnglishclass"


"I'm actually an English major in college, so if I can hardly get through this book then I wonder what the less-hardcore literary types make of it."


"Skip the entire ridiculously undecipherable book and read the chronology and geneaology in the back! Join the ranks of proud low-brows who have other books to read and enjoy!"


"Nobody enjoys reading Faulkner but it is 'good for you' somehow, and thus this book will be painfully read for a long time to come."


"Maybe it's my background as an English major, but run-on sentences drive me crazy. Once I got the Cliff's Notes I discovered that the plot, such as it was, revolved around a family that could be the definition of disfunctional. I never finished the book or read anything else by this author."


"This book, like so many of Faulkner's, is a waste of time and brain space. Why is it that we rely on other 'literary' people to tell us what is a classic? Because most of the books considered 'classics' are either pure drivel or else they make you want to shoot your miserable brains out. Talk about depressing and not worth the paper they're printed on. No sirree. No thank you."

Monday, July 2, 2012

William Faulkner - Absalom, Absalom!

"Have you ever looked at one of Picasso's abstract females? You know the ones I mean. The woman has a head in which the prominently jutting nose splits the face into two sections with violently contrasting colours. Other body parts, hugely disproportionate, seem to bulge and dangle everywhere. You contemplate it for a while, shake your perfectly symmetrical head, put your elegantly tapered fingers pensively to your shapely chin, and think, 'There's a human being in there somewhere. I can see all the body parts. But why does it look so incredibly bizarre?' ... If I went back to the Picasso, maybe all those skewed arms and legs and, well, you know, other things would shift around and suddenly look like a regular human being. And if I go back to the Faulkner, maybe all those characters, fragments, flashbacks, rehashings, and long drawn out italicized monologues will shift around and suddenly make sense like a regular novel."


"I certainly did not give this book a fair read, but I did try to start reading it at least four different times. And four times I found myself bored and distracted ... The fact that I'm a newspaper editor & journalism teacher who stresses brevity colors my approach as a reader, I'm sure."


"Faulkner is an asshole. This crap was unreadable."


"Sweet Lord Jesus. This was the toughest book I have ever read. I tried to be openminded, really I did. But I just don't get how Faulkner ever became such an acclaimed writer. The English teacher in me can't get my mind off all the spelling mistakes and punctuation errors and the five mile sentences. Why purposely write a book that is going to confuse your readers?"


"Absalom, Absalom! is not the great American novel. Or, if it is, it is a great American novel for someone who has time in the day to read for an hour or more at a time. Because that is the only way I was able comprehend this book - grab a glass of iced tea, hunker down and read."


"So many pronouns, not enough brains cells to process it."


"Just gave up after 140 pages, read the chronology at the end, which confirmed that nothing really happened in the book."


"I dare you to make a syntactic phrase structure tree out of any of Faulkner's sentences. I firmly believe they are not comprehensible by either man or machine."


"I just can't get past his pretentious style...and it is pretentious, he writes in the thirties! he doesn't need to extend his sentences like some romantic poet...it's sophomoric."