Wednesday, February 27, 2013

THE BEST OF FEBRUARY

ZENO OF ELEA - FRAGMENTS

"time was there at day one if you believe in evolution or whatever.....times there......deal with it. Why so serious?"


LAWRENCE - WOMEN IN LOVE

"I've outgrown thinking this hard."

"I had just started the 'humanities' requirement for my degree program and was assigned this book to read for a literature course. I did not expect, from the title, that it would be a book for a Christian, but I believe in respecting authority, so I tried to read the book. But I was not able to finish it. It was so dark and full of all kinds of morbid things, that were almost as bad as the pornography. It had no redeeming feature. I felt ashamed while I was reading it, and it was so bad that even the places which were all right seemed suspicious. I thought, how will he find something weird and ugly here? This book was written back when England was full of labor unrest and socialism and paganism and what they called 'free love' so I suppose this had something to do with it.
Some of the Christians in my class wanted to complain to the Dean about a hostile study environment for Christians, but we were afraid of retribution by secular humanists."


SHAKESPEARE - OTHELLO

"Another cliche, typical plot by Shakespeare.

Why do teachers keep making their students read Shakespeare, its the 21st century we should finally realize that his works are unimaginative and that he wasn't a genious. There are so many better classic writers out there that people just ignore."


BRONTE - WUTHERING HEIGHTS

"This book really made me appreciate modern living and the accessibility of potential mates. Online dating would have solved all the problems the characters experience in this book."


SALLUST - BELLUM CATILINAE

"It’s so damn hard still going to school while being a fangirl. I have like 4 ideas for stories/ new chapters in my head and my fingers are itching to write them but I have this stupid fucking Latin exam on Saturday and I have to study for that. Why can’t I just be finished with school already?! I just want to wriiiiiiiite!!! *le pout*"


TENNYSON - POEMS

"It is better to have loved and lost that to suck my hairy dick you ugly bearded twat-faced cock sucking asshole"


THE BIBLE

"it is great to have the word of God on my tablet for free, just like I became free after He paid for my sins"

"Definitely don't let your children read this crazy book filled with mass murder, rape , slavery, and a lot more evil stuff. It's not as good as other ancient mythology books like The Odyssey."


WHITEHEAD - AN ENQUIRY CONCERNING THE PRINCIPLES OF NATURAL KNOWLEDGE

"Philosophy. Love of Knowledge. Science is not subordinate to philosophy it IS philosophy. It was not until relatively recently that anyone even delved to suggest otherwise....usually philosophers with little or no background in science trying to establish a role for themselves.....like that idiot Whitehead. This is not an empty opinion, I actually spent a lot of time on the role of philosophy in moderm times."

Monday, February 25, 2013

Henrik Ibsen - The Master Builder

"I can't say I recommend the book to any great extent whatsoever. I'm sure it has been forgotten for a long long time and will continue to be so unless the movie is a blockbuster. Let's hope so."


"Ibsen sucks big-time.
Holy fish-paste!

Man-o-man, I knew that this day was coming. Yes friends, I've finally arrived to the time in my high school career when I have to read Henrik Ibsen's plays. NOOOOO! D:<

I want to kill myself! IBSEN!!!! AHH! That man looks like a yeti who shaved his FACE! ....his plays STINK!"


"THAT is the funniest potrait i have ever seen in my entire life!!! No wonder he's a crappy playwrite. He looked in the mirror for inspiration!

In all honesty, i have never heard of this dude in all my life ... For my report on that, i compared it to 'The Matrix' in comic book format, and totally got an A+ on it. It suddenly made that dreary play a whole lot cooler."


"I'm still suffering from having to read Ibsen what was it... 6 of 7 years ago now ... Terrible, horrible, awful stuff."


"Man, yes, you're right, people usually do have depressing, confusing lifes...but then why would they want to come from those lives to see a play with those same depressing elements? Idiot."

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Homer - The Iliad IV

"He lived before Christ, a time that is unimaginable to most of us. He winked into existence at about the time of the Trojan War, that much we do know. There was someone: he may not have been blind, but he saw more than anyone had up until that point, and arranged the tenuous first gasps of civilization upon homo sapiens."


"not much substance"


"Hey, Yall, the Illiad Suxors.

A plague, a plague on Homer. Not Simpson, but mister epic poem bizzatch. God, I hate the Illiad. Think I'm gonna hate the Odyssey, too.

Oh, well.

Peace, all."


"i hate the illiad. it's the dumbest book ever written. i'm sure many would agree with me. i think we've finally managed to get to a somewhat decent part and that's like book 18 out of 24. i mean come on. with a name like 'homer' you've got to be expecting something worth reading... but no. it sucks. i don't understand it. i wish it would burn."


"Through out the book it feels like you're right in the middle of a CAPCOM playstation game."


"Terrible. And enough of 'rosy fingered dawn' already. In fairness, it was probably quite good back in 300 BC, when there was nothing else to do but listen to stories of people eating food ALL THE TIME, but by today's standards, there are better things to read."


"expansive scenes of 'blood and gore' may offend the more civilized readers of today."


"the fucking chapter that's just a fucking list of all the ships and how many people were on them? fuck that shit."


"i was like a famished wild beast, i 'ate' the book. It is undescriable"


"So I'm currently finishing up an essay (and by 'finishing' I mean, 500/2000 words. Hehe) on Homer's 'The Iliad'. The more I re-read this book, the more I realize how ridiculous it is.

Now, I've been retelling my friends about said ridiculousness, and the way I've told it, apparently is hilarious. It's raping the Iliad basically, is what I've been doing. XD

I've been considering creating a parody comic series of the Iliad. One issue is that I'm a shitty artist, so everything will basically be one step up from MS-paint stick figures, so...

I've been considering scrapping the comic idea, and just doing a 'Dramatic Retelling' of the Iliad.

Here's a few snippety sneak peeks of how it would potentially sound:

'I mean, they come to take Briseis away, and Achilles is all 'Kay. Bye babe! Imma go and sit on the sand and cry for a while till my mom shows up. And then Imma go be pissed at Atreus and be all Screw you Achaeans, I'm goin home'. YES. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS.'

'Aphrodite is all 'OMGNOBODYTOUCHMYPARIS!' and plucks Paris off the battlefield like a fucking ragdoll.
And then Helen's all 'I dunno. I don't feel like sleeping with him', and Aphrodite's all 'YES YOU FUCKING DO, YOU BITCH! NOW GET YOUR MILF ASS IN THERE!' and Helen's like '....kay.'

Yah. Helen's a MILF. Who knew?'

'Also, Achilles's mom didn't want him to fight 'cause he was like, nine, and so she dressed him up as a girl and took him away to another kingdom to work as a servant. There, he banged some princess and got her pregnant, but nobody really seemed to care and it never comes up in the story ever again and nobody even mentions it. Lame.
Then Odysseus came and recognized Achilles, and said 'DUDE! YOU GOTTA COME TO WAR!' but he said it way smarter 'cause this is Homer's Odysseus, and not Virgil's who was really fucking stupid, 'cause Virgil has a boner for Aeneas whose mom is Aphrodite so you know he's a pansy anyway. Plus his name sounds like 'Anus'.
ANYWAYS, so Achilles is like 'kay.' But his mom's all 'BUT HE'S ONLY FIFTEEN!' and he's like 'BITCH PLEASE' and goes off to war.'

So. Thoughts?"

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Alfred North Whitehead - An Enquiry Concerning the Principles of Natural Knowledge

"Whitehead was an idiot who should have left metaphysics alone. Just from quotes of his its pretty obvious. I won't even waste time tearing it apart."


"It is not worth reading since Whitehead is an idiot."


"Metaphysics really has been left behind by modern physics and the scientific method."


"Philosophy. Love of Knowledge. Science is not subordinate to philosophy it IS philosophy. It was not until relatively recently that anyone even delved to suggest otherwise....usually philosophers with little or no background in science trying to establish a role for themselves.....like that idiot Whitehead. This is not an empty opinion, I actually spent a lot of time on the role of philosophy in moderm times."

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pierre Corneille - Le Cid

"By far, one of the most stupid books"


"French literature sucks!"


"fact of the matter is french books suck so much half the time that ANYONE can write them. No offsense to the french, but their books are corny and boring"


"They are snobby because they think their culture is so superior to everyone else's."


"French suck"


"sorry to burst everyone's bubble but France sux cock and dick ."

Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Bible V

"it is great to have the word of God on my tablet for free, just like I became free after He paid for my sins"


"I only gave this book one star because I couldn't give it a minus. Almost everything that is wrong with our modern world is represented somewhere in this book. I promotes intolerance, rape, murder, torture, classicism, sexism, racism, arrogance, and stupidity. Altruism, an agenda that works about as well as socialism, is promoted as the key theme, with the exclusion of whoever the Bible chooses to elevate to a higher class. Which of course can be taken away at the whim of an all powerful god whenever he feels like playing a game. Like in poor job's case.
Unlike most followers of this book of zeal and hatred, I have actually read it from cover to cover several times. I was that, or pay attention to the mindless ramblings of the preacher my parents made me listen to four times a week as a I grew up. It's actually not a book of just nonsense, but dangerous nonsense, that has been responsible for way more crimes against humanity than Mein Kampf."


"Spoiler alert: I have a theory that the character of God was really the devil in disguise! Hiding in plain sight and convincing the people he didn't exist, the book, like the ending of Inception, leaves this theory wide open"


"This the word of King James and not God. That is why it is called 'The King James Bible'. King James had this bible conpletely rewriten in his words, therefore it is no long the Holy Bible of God's word....unless you think King James is a god"


"Religous drivel!

If you're over the age of 10, you should be old enough to see the difference between a fairy tale and the reality!"


"THe bible is not FICTION at all whatsoever it's the guide to life! I will pray for all of you out there that rated this a 1 star. This book was written by GOD himself!"


"Not my cup of tea per say... Not big on fairy tales or believing in some mythical man sitting on a cloud. I did however read it and was once apron a time a believer..then I grew up... I felt while reading it the consistent inconsistency and there was a bit of skitzophphrinia about it"


"The story is quite unlogical"


"Definitely don't let your children read this crazy book filled with mass murder, rape , slavery, and a lot more evil stuff. It's not as good as other ancient mythology books like The Odyssey."

Friday, February 15, 2013

Alfred Lord Tennyson - Poems

"Tennyson's work is a real thorn in my side. It's kind of like when I wash my white laundry. All the bright shiny stuff is made of up other Victorian poets. But Tennyson is the gross, almost-brown towel that I cleaned up puke and cat pee with."


"If you're in need of some sleep, please read this book. I felt like I was stuck in Dante's Inferno while reading it. It was that awful!

This is the kind of book that makes me hate my major sometimes..."


"It is better to have loved and lost that to suck my hairy dick you ugly bearded twat-faced cock sucking asshole"

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Sallust - Bellum Catilinae

"Sallust. What is it with you and archaic forms. Nobody likes archaic forms."


"#fuck school #latin is shit #noone fucking cares"


"It’s so damn hard still going to school while being a fangirl. I have like 4 ideas for stories/ new chapters in my head and my fingers are itching to write them but I have this stupid fucking Latin exam on Saturday and I have to study for that. Why can’t I just be finished with school already?! I just want to wriiiiiiiite!!! *le pout*"


"A manifesto of metaphysics within a history of the moral decline of Rome. I recommend reading alongside Jacques Derrida's 'Of Grammatology.'"

COMP LIT: THE DEGREE WHERE YOU CAN READ DERRIDA AND STILL NOT HAVE THE FIRST FUCKING CLUE WHAT "MANIFESTO" OR "METAPHYSICS" MEANS

Monday, February 11, 2013

Emily Bronte - Wuthering Heights VII

"Very difficult to get past the first page, started to read but found myself reading but not taking anything in. Loads of stupid words in there which i have no idea nor do i want to know what they mean! :D"


"This book really made me appreciate modern living and the accessibility of potential mates. Online dating would have solved all the problems the characters experience in this book."


"It's a classic and I wanted to read it for that reason, but I'm not sure why it's such a classic. It was ok. Maybe when there wasn't such a great selection of literature 'back then' this ranked well."


"Why is this book considered one of the most classic romances of all time? All of the characters are despicable and cruel to one another, the plot is awkwardly structured, and it’s all very boring and depressing, if you ask us. We realize that at the time of its writing, the book was groundbreaking, and we certainly thank the Brontë sisters for their contribution to women being recognized as great authors, but seriously, it’s 165 years later, so why are we all still reading this book?"


"I hate every single character in this book. How do you hate every character and still like the book? You don't. In fact I intensely dislike this book ... Sometimes books are considered classics simply because they're old."


"While in it's day, it may have been 'groundbreaking', speaking of things that others hadn't, at least openly, the very ground that it broke should've been used to bury it.

I think the only reason it remains as a 'classic', as high school students are forced to read it as such, and marvel at it - instead of labeling it for what it truly is - destructive to the psyche.

I'm glad I bought it at a used bookstore. It will soon warm my toes over a fire, dying the literary death it deserves."

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Shakespeare - Othello II

"Well, So far (and I only started this like 4 days ago) I love Iago and Othello. The 'close' relationship between Desdemona and Cassio is probably going to bug me through the entire play though."


"Typical Shakespeare misunderstanding causing multiple people to die."


"Another cliche, typical plot by Shakespeare.

Why do teachers keep making their students read Shakespeare, its the 21st century we should finally realize that his works are unimaginative and that he wasn't a genious. There are so many better classic writers out there that people just ignore."


"I belong in the horde that don't like Shakespeare but for different reasons than most. I think the books are predictable because they are cliche. Granted, they are probably cliche to me because American literature is basically a Shakespeare baby, but in the end they are cliche, even they are 'the original'. So anyways when Shakespeare isn't being predictable or spoiled as this play was not entirely it is often boring or illogical. Much Ado About Nothing is not a comedy. As for more opinions and onions on Othello itself I hate Desdemona (we are all shocked). She is not unlucky, she is just stupid. I disagree completely with motiveless malignity and beleive that it only exists in literature (and such), and often bad literature at that."


"What I have learned about Shakespeare since high school.
I have learned that Shakespeare is a hard cookie to crack. He either depicted his own cultural sentiments, or captured the cultural sentiments and dynamics in a commentary for how those racial and gender roles were unfair and were in much need of review. If it were the later, he was not a little ahead of his time, but centuries ahead of his time. This can be seen here with the discrimination against both Othello and his wife through the interactions with others as well as the domestic abuse that ends with tragic consequences. Other plays discuss legal rights of Jews and women, politcal intergue, family and social dynamics, religion, as well as having the typical stuff of love and action. Learning how to sit and read in the social aspect allows me to have much more fun than before with just reading the story itself. Unraveling the cultural norms of yesterday and seeing how much has changed (or not) since then. It makes wading through this junk almost worth trying to breakdown how many ways Shakespeare can have someone describe love, hate, and all of those emotions inbetween."


"My complaint is having Shakespeare on your shelf, as if one day you'll sit down in your chair and read Othello start to finish.

That's wrong, and I refuse to read Shakespeare by myself, in my head. It's a play, meant to be heard and felt and seen."


"cartoonish and silly. not in a good way. even shakespeare (which, i mean, let's be honest, the guy has a bit of a reputation, and linguistically at least he always delivers) couldn't save this one"

Thursday, February 7, 2013

D. H. Lawrence - Women in Love III

"I HATE D.H. LAWRENCE. Do you hear me world?! I read Women in Love and I am here to tell you all that it SUCKED."


"Gudrus falls in LERVE in the space of a page in naturally the most high falutin manner (this isnt' a quote I'm just gonna fake it), 'COuld it be that lad and I share a bit of arctic illumination that only reflects on our two souls? our two hearts and minds?' or words to that effect.

SORRY THIS IS UNREADABLE."


"This book totally traumatized me. The people who tried to censor it 80 years ago were right. Nobody should ever be forced to endure the torture of going through this book. It was so uneventful and boring; the conversations that occurred were also completely arbitrary and all conveniently led to some sort of philosophical topic. DON'T READ THIS BOOK!!!"


"Sodding crappy book. At least three quarters of it are BADLY WRITTEN BADLY OBSERVED BADLY IMAGINED BOLLOCKS. BOLLOCKS, I tells ya."


"I had just started the 'humanities' requirement for my degree program and was assigned this book to read for a literature course. I did not expect, from the title, that it would be a book for a Christian, but I believe in respecting authority, so I tried to read the book. But I was not able to finish it. It was so dark and full of all kinds of morbid things, that were almost as bad as the pornography. It had no redeeming feature. I felt ashamed while I was reading it, and it was so bad that even the places which were all right seemed suspicious. I thought, how will he find something weird and ugly here? This book was written back when England was full of labor unrest and socialism and paganism and what they called 'free love' so I suppose this had something to do with it.
Some of the Christians in my class wanted to complain to the Dean about a hostile study environment for Christians, but we were afraid of retribution by secular humanists."


"Have I mentioned that I hate D.H. Lawrence? I kind of want to go back in time and STAB HIM IN THE FACE."


"The professor assigned us D.H. Lawrence’s Women in Love and I hated it more than anything I’d ever read. Every page was an ordeal, and it was not a short book. I was absolutely miserable over it, because I’d go to class three days a week and spend an hour listening to my classmates discuss and dissect it intelligently and with enthusiasm, and all I could think was, 'What is the matter with me? I hate this book. D.H. Lawrence is a TITAN OF ENGLISH LITERATURE and I’m supposed to be impressed and engaged but I just think it sucks.' There must be something wrong with me, because no intelligent person thinks that D.H. Lawrence sucks, or that James Joyce is inscrutable, or that Henry James needed to learn how to put a sentence out of its misery. No way. These guys wrote Amazing Examples of the Divine Heights Man Can Reach With the Written Word and if you hate their work, then you are defective and have no business studying it, and good day to you."

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

D. H. Lawrence - Women in Love II

"Never before have I quit on a 500 page book with 30 pages left to go. Reading this book requires a lot of caffeine plus german-English and French-English dictionaries. Don't bother."


"I've outgrown thinking this hard."


"They harped on a lot about what things 'mean': what does love 'mean'? Sometimes I really felt like screaming 'stop over-analyzing everything!' - really frustrated me - not an easy read."


"the most difficult book i've ever read by far."


"too dense"

I'M SORRY THAT YOU'RE TOO DENSE


"Full of talk to hear himself talk, which they now call a 'modern' style."


"In terms of graphic erotica, there is none, today's books can offer much more detail"


"Lawrence is an amazing period piece, just because he's one of the few writers ever to take Freud's theories as deep, meaningful truth."


"I can't see the point of DH Lawrence in this day and age and there will be no more forays into re-reading this dated stuff for me. Somethings do not stand the test of time."


"Sure, the author does use the English language brilliantly. But perhaps too brilliantly"


"Oh one thing I really thought was dumb was when the bridal arrives at the church, 'They were all gay and excited because the sun was shining.' ?! Not cause they're gathered together to join in holy matrimony this couple etc etc? No, because the sun was shining. This just strikes me as amazingly sort of DUMB lol."


"Somewhere in the middle of the book one of the sisters exclaimed, 'it is amazingly cool!' I have to say that very modern-sounding phrase really stood out in the middle of all those big words of his."


"Beyond all the other problems of this novel is its flawed premise. Lawrence seems to be saying that the only way modern man can ever escape the world he lives in is to be so passionate as to overcome it. In this, Lawrence seems to be the opposite of a Buddhist."


"I worried that my lack of appreciation for this classic must be due to my inferior intellect and that I must after all be just some obtuse hill-billy. Thankfully I found that several people who had offered their reviews here shared my opinions for this book and I was quite relieved that I was not alone in my reaction."

Sunday, February 3, 2013

D. H. Lawrence - Women in Love

"It's a classic, so I'm supposed to like it right? LOL"


"A wordy mess once again! Woe to me! why do I keep reading his little known novels?"


"Do not touch this travesty of a book with a barge pole! What a load of twaddle! A few sexual scenes, but even they were dull as dishwater."


"Holy crap what a miserable book. If your Emo or wannabe Emo this is the book for you. You hear people complain that Tolkien will write about a tree for 3 pages, well in this book the author will describe the same thought for 3 pages and then goes absolutely no where with it! My wife explained it best. There is no one in this book to root for ... the author is obviously trying to make you think about sacrifice and love but ended up making me feel drained and delusional."


"Lawrence failed to realise as none of his 'observations' were particularly insightful either. Maybe they would have been at the time but it certainly didn't strike a cord with me, I found it all very boring and predictable."


"I bet D.H. Lawrence was a lot of fun at parties.

Ha ha! I am kidding, of course."


"D.H. has a lot to teach us about love, and better love, and what lies beyond love, and there's a guy named Mary Sue Birkin who's a lot like D.H. and is the way we all should be."


"I was not expecting much from Women in Love. But what I discovered is something entirely different, and probably something that Lawrence did not intend. Humor."


"With Women in Love, Lawrence has built an entire novel around the celebration of maleness and male physicality ... It contains what might be the most graphic descriptions of the male body – as in 'glistening, muscular thighs' – outside of romance novels with Fabio on the cover. It’s RIDICULOUS.
...
'How perfect and foreign he was—ah how dangerous! Her soul thrilled with complete knowledge. This was the glistening, forbidden apple, this face of a man. She kissed him, putting her fingers over his face, his eyes, his nostrils, over his brows and his ears, to his neck, to know him, to gather him in by touch. He was so firm, and shapely, with such satisfying, inconceivable shapeliness, strange, yet unutterably clear. He was such an unutterable enemy, yet glistening with uncanny white fire. She wanted to touch him and touch him and touch him, till she had him all in her hands, till she had strained him into her knowledge. Ah, if she could have the precious KNOWLEDGE of him, she would be filled, and nothing could deprive her of this.'
Seriously – that text is from a novel that is considered one of the masterpieces of 20th century literature. Seriously."


"My main problem with this book is that I think the dialogues aren't up to standard: there is hardly any difference between a 'male' and 'female' dialogue which has the effect that both women and men sound exactly the same ... As for the narrative, it strikes me as if an amateur has written this."

Friday, February 1, 2013

Zeno of Elea - Fragments

"this zeno guy basiclly created a 'big book of paradoxes' and threw them at the wall til they stuck... most have since fallen off the wall and in due course so will the rest in all probability"


"if you're going to explain yourself, at least do it in a somewhat intelligent manor."


"time was there at day one if you believe in evolution or whatever.....times there......deal with it. Why so serious?"


"my brain is hurting now because that made sense but it was stupid sense so now my brain has been infected by stupid sense,so now my brain hurts because of the stupid sense"


"There's no need for serious debate here. The quotation is just a musing, so all that should be elicited by the reader is further contemplation."


"if you have ever done lsd then you know time is only relative it slows down time"


"dis guy was dumb and probs did a lot of drugs and had aids and died."