THE BEST OF FEBRUARY

HOW ABOUT THOSE OSCARS, HEY FOLKS? WHAT A RIVETING CEREMONY THIS YEAR. YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THAT BEST ANIMATED MOVIE WAS GOING TO BE FOUGHT OUT BETWEEN A HIGH-GROSSING PIXAR FILM, SOME ARBITRARILY-CHOSEN PIECE OF SHIT FROM DREAMWORKS, AND A FOREIGN-SOUNDING HAND-DRAWN THING NOBODY SAW, I WAS SHOCKED. WITH SO MUCH EFFORT TAKEN TO SEEK OUT THESE THREE CONTENDERS WHO COULD HAVE SAID WHICH WAY IT WOULD GO. BUT WITH CHARACTERISTIC SUBTLETY AND REFINEMENT OF CRITICAL TASTE THE ACADEMY SOMEHOW PULLED THROUGH FOR US.

ANOTHER AWARD THAT HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WAS OF COURSE BEST PICTURE. WITH WEIGHTY NOMINEES LIKE BLACK SWAN AND INCEPTION IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW WHAT THE ACADEMY'S CAREFULLY-SELECTED TRIBUNAL OF THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD FIGHT CLUB ENTHUSIASTS WOULD PICK. IT MAY HAVE BEEN A BOLD CHOICE TO GO FOR A HEART-WARMING HISTORICAL BOX-OFFICE HIT ABOUT OVERCOMING DISABILITY AND CHILDHOOD TRAUMA BUT IT IS ONE THAT I MYSELF APPLAUD. NOW THE KING'S SPEECH CAN TAKE ITS RIGHTFUL PLACE IN CINEMATIC HISTORY, NEXT TO OTHER CLASSIC OSCAR WINNERS LIKE BRAVEHEART, FORREST GUMP, AMERICAN BEAUTY, GLADIATOR, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE AND LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING.

IF THERE'S ONE THING THE OSCARS CAN TEACH US ABOUT ART, IT'S THAT THE BEST JUDGMENTS OF A WORK'S VALUE ARE THE GUT RESPONSES OF A DROOLING AND UNEDUCATED PUBLIC. THIS HAS OF COURSE BEEN THE CREDO OF THIS BLOG FOR ITS LONG ONE MONTH OF EXISTENCE, AND I HAVE TAKEN GREAT JOY IN SEEKING OUT THE FINEST READINGS OF THE MASTERPIECES OF OUR FOUR AND A HALF-THOUSAND YEAR OLD LITERARY CULTURE IN ORDER TO PRESENT THEM TO YOU IN ONE CONSOLIDATED PILE OF HUMAN EXCREMENT.

ALL OF THEM ARE SPECIAL, ALL OF THEM HAVE BROUGHT US PLEASURE, BUT AT TIMES WE MAY HEAR AMONG THE HERD A PAINED AND DISTORTED BRAYING THAT ON CLOSER INSPECTION TURNS OUT TO BE A SPECTACULARLY REVOLTING MUTANT. THE LAST DAY OF EACH MONTH I INTEND TO DEDICATE TO THESE PITIABLE CREATURES. SO HERE THEY ARE: THE WORST REVIEWS OF FEBRUARY, PICKED BY ME, THE GREATEST, MOST INTELLIGENT AND LEAST FALLIBLE PERSON ON EARTH




THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH

"I had to read this book for school. I was tired of it after the first page. How was this story so popular back then? It's boring and unreal. C'mon! One guy lived with animans most of his life anf Gilgamesh was part god. I know a story of a real hero, Neo from The Matrix. That guy is cool and interesting. Also, he is cool to watch. Gilgamesh would never become a movie. People would fall asleep. Besides, any school book isn't fun to read."


PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

"I don't question Jane Austin's ability to write a novel. She wrote a long piece of literature with scenes, characters and plot."


A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN

"First of all, he was quite the post modernist"


THE ODYSSEY

"Accoording to what i know about Odysseus i believe that he should not be in the Hero Hall of Fame Nomination Committee. He killed innocent people , cheated on his wife, and ate his friends. I believe that says it all about who Odysseus really is."


ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE

"uhh no offense BUT THIS book should SUCK MY BALLS! um the amazing truth is that i didn't read IT!!!!!!!! but i read a few line sof the summar y thouh. it probably has to do someth ing wit hprophecies and that is why little noobies like the 5 raters have no sense of quantum mechanics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously wh y do we have to listen to the prphecy EH? BATMAN prophecies are assuming that time is presaid already which goes AGAINST QUANTUM MECHANICS!
QUANTUM MECHANICS IS WRONG? i think so....... every physiscs discovery is wrong thes DAYSSS .
baertrand would see alberts hinf beams pathing him at the full speed of lih ght! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7vpw4AH8QQ
since i dont have no idea what the book is about i andre wills just say tat it SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
X^yz+y^xz+Y^xy=X^y*Y^z*z^x"


LOLITA

"Girls want to be Lolita--they hold her up as--if not a role model, then a relatable character or a heroine. A sexually powerful child ahead of her years."


WAR AND PEACE

"classical reading re: wwII"


THE SCARLET LETTER

"She was forced to wear an 'A' for 'A whore.'"


MOBY-DICK

"As for the characters, they never quite make sense. If the whale represents Evil and Ahab Good, why is the latter such an unsympathetic person? What are we to make of the livid lightning scar down his side? The book is full of such presumed symbolism but it all remains vague and unfocused."


EACH NOMINEE HAS STRIVEN HARD FOR THE PEAKS OF INCOMPETENCE EACH HAS IN HIS OR HER OWN WAY ATTAINED

BUT THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE WINNER

THE AWARD FOR THE SINGLE WORST COMMENT OF FEBRUARY GOES TO


...



...





...CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

"There is no doubt that 'Crime and Punishment' would have been one of the greatest novels of the century had not Dostoevsky leaned towards the more acceptable sense of morality related to the weak tenets of Chrisitanity. In doing so, he made Rasknolikov a caricature of himself, lethargic and yet redeemable by accepting Christ's suffering. It was more appropriate to adapt Nietzsche's figure of 'the noble superman' but Dostoevsky, at the time of his writing, was a destroyed soul, drinking and plagued by debts, a gambling and morphine addiction and on top of that, he was a converted Christian, which is to say he resembled a 'spineless worm'.

There is a powerful beginning in which the bold character Rasknolikov conceptualizes the murder of an old aged hag who serves no purpose to society but beyond that, Dostoevsky tortures us with the conscience of an obstinate man who is shattered by an insignificant crime. In all effect, Dostoevsky became an apologist not only for bourgeois values and the Czar with his corrupt regime, but for Orthodox Christianity, which not only supported the exploitation of the Russian population but welcomed it. The end of the novel, which portrays a once proud, noble, and intellectually superior young man weeping before a prostitute and the image of the bible, brings about the demise of Dostoevsky's credibility."

CONGRATULATIONS

I LITERALLY CANNOT THINK OF A WORSE READING OF CRIME AND PUNISHMENT THAN THIS

THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL OUR NOMINEES AND WE HOPE SEE YOU IN MARCH FOR MORE BAD REVIEWS OF GOOD BOOKS

James Joyce - Ulysses II

"James Joyce is a genius. Let's all say it together, loud and proud. Maybe he is so much of a genius that he has created in a novel, Ulysses, a work that is so far above anyone's heads that since the majority of the reading public doesn't understand, well then, by God, it must be supernova brilliant. Was it just me? Did my intellectual shortcomings not allow me to truly enjoy this work that makes everyone's top 10 books of the century list?"

YES


"i am convinced that people just say they enjoyed it so they can seem smart and cultured."

NO


"I think Joyce is just f'ing with everybody."

NO


"I didn't understand it. Maybe I'm stupid," YES "but I think the fact that Joyce repeatedly breaks into long stretches of French and Latin and his own made-up words--none of which I understand--has something to do with it" YES "...maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too ignorant to comprehend the genius. But I doubt it."

NO


"Of course, some non-indoctrinated people could object and say: this book portrays well Dubliner 'middle' society from ITS OWN perspective (not from a critical eye). However, I don't think this was author's intent. His intent was just 'getting rebelious': being 'new', unbounded by (older) rules and responsibility."

NOPE


"As I see it, there are two possible explanations for this. 1) It really is the best book ever, and I'm just not bright enough to comprehend its brilliance. 2) This is some grand inside joke by literary types, to put the rest of us through agony and make themselves look smarter. I'm inclined to believe the latter, myself."

I'M AFRAID NOT


"This is one of those books that 'smart' people like to 'read.' Well if being smart means liking this, count me out!"

DONE


"What an awful book this is?

When an English/American writer try to explain his/her ideas about life(I mention ideas about meaning,purpose and philosophy of life)and when he/she try to do this with complicated ideas and long sentences(or like very short ones especially in this particular book);what his/her work become to is:A tremendous nonsense!!!

When you see a book like that I mentioned above(and I also warn you against it),all you need to do is:RUN,RUN, RUN AWAY!!!"

WHAT


"Reading all the other reviews, I felt like I must have missed something. But then I thought back over the book. No plot, no structure, no character development, no free-flowing story. I do not see how any of these things makes this book an 'astonishing masterpiece'. Because in my opinion it is not."

I

WHAT


"Apparently it's 'full of puns, parodies, and allusions, as well as its rich characterisations and broad humor.' I'd be thrilled if someone could explain any one of those, because as it is, I think the whole book is Joyce's joke at the expense of the reader."

DID ANY OF YOU PEOPLE READ THE BOOK


"Last night I had an epiphany. It occurred to me that Ulysses is the greatest hoax of the century, ranking with Conan Doyle's Piltdown Man. Surely, Joyce must have realized that Ulysses was the inevitable & fitting conclusion to the Romantic Age. Art, cut loose from the mooring of God, had steadily drifted away from the universal & towards the personal."

BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO BE JUST

SAYING ALL THESE WORDS THAT DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE


"Gobbygook whatchamacallit thisiscrap!Gobbygook whatchamacallit thisiscrap!
Gobbygook whatchamacallit thisiscrap!Gobbygook whatchamacallit thisiscrap!

'I can't understand it--so it must be deep!'"

OR BEAR ANY RELATION TO WHAT YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF TO BE TALKING ABOUT


"I am giving the stars for the Irish readers. No way would I ever want to READ this book!"

WAIT I DON'T UNDERSTAND


"I performed a search for the 100 greatest novels and checked Ulysses out at the library. I'm sorry, but thank God for western 'Progress' and the 'New' English. '...To tell you the God's truth, I think [I'm] right.' If you're going to read this book, that's one thing. But, if you're going to understand it.. at all, you might want to have Ozzie Osbourne or The Naked Chef on hand who actually speak in this unintelligible, out-dated, even obsolete, Olde English archaic style. Trust me. '...You couldn't manage it under three pints [by yourself]' Better yet, consult one of the 'experts' who voted this 'thing' number one, and who must have about two inches of dust between their ears, or Great Granny's Cyclops glasses on. I'm convinced if J.J. were alive today, he would be just another 'obscene' English rock star speaking the 'Ulysses' dialect '...Lal the ral the ra The rocky road to Dublin.' Say... what? Aye Mate .. Ha Ha.. It don't mattaw. '...Riddle me, riddle me, randy ro.' Yeah Baby! I suffered through part of this extremely borish book and I'll probably suffer through to the end; and then, not the 'experts' Howard's End, after that. Personally, I most enjoy the books that clearly communicate, that clearly speak something, and that make me want to turn to the next page. There are classics like that, but this ain't one of them old chap. '...Stephen raised the sheets in his hand. Well sir, he began. I forsee ... that you will not remain here very long at this work.' Exactly Stephen.. Where's Ozzie? '...Houyhnhnm, horsenostrilled. The oval equine faces.' Oh, thanks Bro. Now it makes sense."

SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS HAPPENING


"I’ve tried to read it twice. Both times I got to page 50 before ultimately giving up. I use to think that this was due to some intellectual failing on my part. Perhaps I lacked some visceral quality that the literati (who have twiterpated over it for damn near a century) had, but I was sadly born without.

Then it hit me one day while flipping through the book that Joyce was just putting one over on all the culture vultures out there."

HELP


"i say to those who say they enjoyed it and understood most of it, 'i don t believe you.'"

STOP

PLEASE


"I only give two stars out of respect for the millions of others who have lied and said they've actually finished Ulysses."

PLEASE

THIS IS EMBARRASSING


"Anyone who tells you they've read this so-called book all the way through is probably lying through their teeth."


IT'S LIKE

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS OR SOMETHING

James Joyce - Ulysses

"James Joyce Needed an Editor
How could a book like Ulysses ever have made it to print? The grammar is so disjointed as to make it nearly impossible to read. Additionally, the point-of-view and writing style change in nearly every chapter after the sixth. It should also be mentioned that the story is not very well paced. The book is well over 600 pages long, but the events in the story appear to take place over the course of just a single day.

I have heard numerous people praise this book, but that would seem to be largely posturing because the story is lost under the weight of inadequate editing."


"I believe he has turned many children away from reading."


"Some filthy parts, sure, but by today's standards, not so much."


"I asked around and no one I know thinks about anything while climaxing except for a sexual fantasy. Totally unrealistic."


"This would never get published today."


"Horrible. This would never be published today."


"This is like the abstract art of literature. No meaning. No value."


"I can not see why everyone thinks this book is so great. It reminds me of modern art, where a so called artist splashes paint on a canvas in ten minutes and then passes it off as a masterpiece. It probably took Joyce less time to write this novel than it took me to read it."

IT TOOK HIM TEN YEARS. SO PROBABLY


"Why write a book that has to be decoded? And beyond that was the story really that good? Is it considered great because it doesn't make sense? That's ridiculous."


"Stream of conciousness is great....when it's my own."


"Being someone with a rich interior dialogue it was interesting see inside another mind, though the inner voice of these characters is really off colour!"


"Joyce seems to want to point out the whole time how good he knows English and that is very irretating."


"This book is garbage. A load of pretentious, modernist garbage. Literary experimentation is one thing, but for God's sake, at least make it readable. But no, a stuck-up author who is so full of his own self-importance would only want to write a book that only one of his most esteemed peers could 'fully' appreciate. This is why people hate academics, and high-minded literature, and pretentious prick's like James Joyce."


"My limit for the intellectual masturbation of elite white men is relatively small."


"The few thoughts that are understandable are all essentially smut, perhaps the only recurrent theme of the book. One third of the book is essentially smut. (It SHOULD have been banned.)"


"Sentence structure does matter. Enough said."


"A generally acclaimed 'classic'.

I'll proclaim it not. I quit 'War and Peace' and i highly doubt that I'll ever try again. And I quit Ulysses without giving it much of a chance. I'll leave it to all those who haven't read it and proclaim it wonderful, and to the pedantic insufferable literati..."


"This is a waste of space. How wonderful such space can be used, other longer books like 'The Lord of the Rings', 'Dune' or 'Catch-22' prove."

"I know this is a classic, but I just couldn't get through it. Same thing with Jack Kerouac."

"I feel that this is one of those works no one understands therefore everyone decides it must be great. I suggest burning along with A Passage to India."

"maybe i'm old-fashioned, but i think books should be accessible and readable. it's something john steinbeck understood all too well. he most definitely wrote for the masses and the 'every man,' and it shows in his work. i prefer books that use simple language to expound on profound truths, not necessarily a book that requires me to constanty refer to other sources to help me understand what i've just read."

"I am a college educated English major, but how this random witlessness can share a shelf with Steinbeck, Vonnegut, Hemingway, Orwell or Forster and a number of other fine authors escapes me."

"those who proclaim it the greatest book of the century only have to read any of The Lord of the Rings, Catch-22, 1984 or To Kill a Mockingbird to see they are sadly mistaken END"

"Modern readers equate the word 'classic' with 'boring and hard to read.' But most classics have risen to that status because they are timeless, powerful and entertaining - Heart of Darkness, War and Peace, and Red Badge of Courage come to mind"

"Save your time and energy for something like '1984' by George Orwell, a REAL twentieth century classic."

"the fact is it is boring to the nth degree and simply not up or even close to anything by Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky"

"for a much better read get anything by Hunter S. Thompson. Dr. Gonzo's book will be more coherent, make more sense, and will be better crafted."

"The author kept getting bogged down in details instead of moving the storyline along, because we don't need to know everything about the characters, just enough to keep reading until the climax of the story; if you compare it with something like the Hunt for Red October you'll see what I mean, there the author knows to advance the plot and doesn't waste his time and ours."

WELL. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU FOR HAVING READ UP TO FIVE OTHER BOOKS

T. S. Eliot - The Waste Land

"Eliot departed from the formulaic and moralizing poetry of the nineteenth century"

WHAT

"i have never seen awounderful poetry of aman like the waste land i send my sweet words to my lecturer dr faten helmy"

HUH

"Worse than: Purgatorio by Dante Alighieri
Better than: Effi Briest by Theodor Fontane"

WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT

"It's probably due to the fact that I am a bit thick"

OH. I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE

"None of it makes sense!"


"I've always thought it to be the perfect example of an indecipherable work of art that cultured people are too embarrassed to admit they don't understand; because they don't want to seem unsophisticated, they label it genius, and everyone else goes along with it."


"This Pisses Me Off and Makes Me Feel Like a Moron ... Yes, it's all the pieces of the 'shattered' classical world, thrown together in a different and hideous mixture to reflect the modernists' belief that the world as they knew it, and all previous literary forms, weren't up to the task of reflecting their contemporary world"


"Who wants to read 20 pages of foot notes?"


"Much of the book, including entire poems, is not in English and has no translation. And much of what is in English seems to require cultural knowledge that someone in the 21st century simply does not have ... I can't really say I've read it since it begins with six lines in French, and I just don't care enough to look up a translation. I didn't have the patience to decode things when they got dense - I gave up on 'The Wasteland' after two pages - because the language issue made the task seem futile."


"Maybe I shouldn't have bothered since I already think poetry is a giant waste of time, but I found this to be nothing but a bunch of disjointed crap all thrown together in a mish-mash of wandering pointlessness. If the poet needs a twenty page breakdown of the random, obscure references to follow the poem, then maybe it sucks. I'm sure if anyone who loves poetry actually reads this review, they'll just think I'm too stupid to understand the nuances of his PROSE. They may be right, but then again, maybe I'm just smart enough to not give a shit.

P.S. I can bench press a Buick."


"Eliot has taken poetry twenty years into the past with this poem. While others are experimenting with their poetics, Eliot falls back on an Old World school of writing that would be better obsolete."

OH NO, NOW WE'LL NEVER REACH THE GOAL TOWARDS WHICH ALL POETRY IS MOVING AS A UNIFORM BODY


"Very difficult to approach with a clear setup or even as a fair reader. One, I don't generally read poetry, and I enjoy it even less. Two, Eliot's work is really too famous to engage with"


"It is my understanding that Eliot has much more poetry than is contained in this short volume. I am glad"

Franz Kafka - The Castle

"Note: Reading other GoodReads comments you’ll see that most find the book less than enjoyable, yet consistently rate the book highly. This incongruity can likely be explained by the general perception that an author’s fame is in every instance deserved, coupled with a herd mentality and desire for personal conformity."


"I think the idea of it is enough. No need to trudge through it just to end on that incomplete sentence that I'm well-aware it ends with."


"I've had a lifelong obsession with Kafka, but his novels I can do without."

"I'm a huge lover of Kafka but I was somewhat bored by most of this book, even though the general concept and backdrop is intriguing in its very Kafkaesque fashion."

"A very difficult read. But being a huge Kafka fan I forced myself through to the dizzy end."

YES, IT WAS TOUGH, BUT I'M SUCH A HUGE KAFKA FAN THAT I WAS ABLE TO FORCE MYSELF TO FINISH ONE OF HIS BOOKS


"It is society's fault as a hole."


"Honestly, I quit ... The value The Castle has to offer here and now is not worth the attention required to read it."


"It's like... what the f#$%!"


"If you really read this, you may be as disappointed as was I. It is yet another example of a 'classic' that is unspeakably dull and perhaps over-rated by critics who are as far from the normal reader as an English professor can be from a lover of books."


"this is out of harmony"


"Ok, I know this is GREAT LITERATURE, but I kept wondering when he was going to get to the damn castle."


"I just really didnt get this book. The writing is good but the story seems to be unreasovled to me. Maybe it wasnt translated well or maybe I'm missing something!"

Shakespeare - Macbeth

"Too much death."


"If Shakespeare never signed any of his works how do we know he wrote them? A lot of information we think we know about Shakespeare is off of gossip. Aren’t we taught not to always believe the gossip we hear? I did know that some people question whether William Shakespeare wrote the plays attributed to him. I am one of those people. I think it is very important whether William Shakespeare wrote the plays, because everyone in the world is giving his name the credit!"


"I don’t like the way they talk and all the fancy words."


"As I am not really a writer of plays or scripts Shakespeare has always been hard for me to read."


"It's interesting about how Macbeth wrote this in answer to King James I giving him praise and societal position etc"


"I took into account that this was written in a different time, that there was a different kind of demand or expectation from those who went to watch the plays, but there are still some serious problems with the writing. Even considering that Shakespeare used asides as a way of conveying the thoughts of a character, and this was an acceptable practice in play writing, it was always very distracting and in some cases disturbing when a character would suddenly just start rambling on about whatever they were thinking or feeling at the time. If such a devise was used today, the audience was most likely mistake the aside for a character becoming literally insane and would be confused when the other characters in the performance do not begin to come to the same conclusion. It certainly wasn't something done in real life during Shakespeare's time, and so I
don't really understand why he did it when a much preferable method of expressing the emotions and thoughts of a character would be through dialogue with another close character. For example, when Macbeth is talking to his wife, instead of suddenly looking away and talking to himself for an extended period of time, he could have told his wife what he was thinking briefly and asked her for her opinion, chunking one person's thoughts between another's (but then Shakespeare was in too chauvinistic of a time for that to be acceptable anyway)."


"this book was kind of hard for me when i was reading because i dont really like reading gibberish"


"This book sucks. I dont like none of Shakespeares plays. They are too confusing."


"One beef I have with Shakespeare is his Ancient Rome fetish ... Macbeth in particular did not strike my fancy."


"The story itself, I thought was meh. But I guess that's what happens when someone writes a great play that ends up getting rewritten and redone in multitudinous ways for over 100 years. The nerdy part of me me was fascinated to find phrases that are so commonly heard now (i.e. 'Double, double toil and trouble' and 'One fell swoop.') and wonder how long exactly these sayings have been around and if Shakespeare coined these phrases. Dorky, I know."


"I didn't care much for Macbeth. I am the kind of person who likes metaphors and symbols and this wasn't one of Shakespeare's best in presenting that."


"It's so hard to read plays!"


"I DID NOT ENJOY READING THE BOOK AS MUCH I LIKED OTHER SHAKESPEARE'S BOOK"


"Ok, pretty much, this book sucked. I mean, this was probably Shakespeare's worst failure ever.
First of all, the cover was a put-down. Not only does it have ink sketches of ugly people, its a weird white/tan/moldy whipped cream color.
Second, the book doesn't start out with Macbeth. It starts out with a stuffy literary analysis. Which also gives away the ending. Which became pretty obvious by Act 3, but yeah. Another put-down.
Third, I think Shakespeare has some verboseness issues. For example, a messenger tells Lady Macduff to escape. Then she's like 'OMG' for the next 7 lines. Then, like all good murderers with perfect timing, a murderer comes in and stabs Lady Macduff's son. And then what does the son say? 'He has killed me, mother.' Well, DUH. Or do people usually not die when they get stabbed? Then Lady Macduff flees from the stage with the murderers chasing after her. Serves you right, Lady Macduff, for running your mouth when you should have been getting away! Although, I suppose this killing gives Macduff an incentive to kill Macbeth, even though Macduff already hated him enough.
Fourth, Shakespeare did not do a good job wrapping things up. Which was sooo annoying! You wouldn't even believe it. Like, Malcolm in the last act. 'Just so you know, I'm a greedy man whore.' Macduff: 'Dang it. Now we don't have a new ruler to take over.' 'Heh, just kidding. I was testing you.' 'Wha-?' 'Let's go kill Macbeth!' 'Ok!' I mean, really? How unnecessary was that? You can't take someone's word that they're not greedy and promiscuous. What if it turned out that he WAS greedy and promiscuous? Then you killed Macbeth for nothing! You might as well have let Macbeth live out his life as king. With his suicidal wife. :P You know what else irked me? The fact that Macbeth was so cocky. 'I can't be beaten until Burnam wood comes to Dursinane.' Well, too bad. You ended up being killed anyway. Plus, you never find out if Banquo's sons become king. All you see is Malcom becoming king. Which totally wasn't supposed to happen.
Fifth, in Act 4, Ross says that Macduff's wife and kids were at peace when he left them, then like 3 pages later he's like, 'OH, btw, Macbeth had them killed' and I'm like 'I thought you said they were fine.' Doesn't make sense at all."

Herman Melville - Moby-Dick II

"tHIS BOOK IS BORING. iT TAKES A LONG TIME BEFORE THE STORY BEGINS......"


"It seemed a little obvious, but that's maybe because I am an adult"


"I am quite the fan of stories which involve man eating sea creatures, such as Jaws. Moby Dick is nothing compared to such classics, I fear.

In fact, it is boring with a capital B. What is the whales motivation? You dont know. There is no suspense, and I find the idea of people hunting whales offensive. Offensive with a capital O. Whales are lovely, peaceful creatures and that is why their slaughter has been outlawed. This book makes whales seem like demonic, murderous creatures of doom. Such a thing should not be read to a child, for it preaches that animal cruelty is ok."


"I just thought it was not a good novel. I understand it was essentially the earliest form of the novel, but it was soooo long, and with so many tangents that I had to actually labor to get through it."


"This is a book about whaling. Seriously. About whaling."


"I considered this a cruel story because of the unfair treatment of whales. Ahab's obsession is horrible. There were so many characters, it was hard to keep up with who they were in the story. The only reason I kept reading the book was to see if Moby Dick came out alive. It was understandable that he was forced to be mean to those who chased him relentlessly."


"I do believe I have now qualified for a degree in 'whales' or as Melville says, leviathons."


"OK, so you know a book is too tedious when there's a 17-page chapter about the 'whiteness of the whale.'"


"This has to be one of the most
BORING books I've ever attempted to read. I say 'attempted'
because I couldn't get past the first few chapters. Don't listen to
the powers of established academia: this book really is dull. I think
that people say this book is so great because they're afraid of having
an original thought. A thought like 'this book is reallybad.' Yeah, the 'symbolism' is so deep. As deep as
the sea. So deep that it makes me ask all the Big Questions of human
existence. And if you believe claptrap like that then there is
nothing I can do to dissuade you from reading this."


"No narrative drive, no interest. Symbolizism yes, but that doesn't make a book. No wonder Melville flopped as a writter."


"As for the characters, they never quite make sense. If the whale represents Evil and Ahab Good, why is the latter such an unsympathetic person? What are we to make of the livid lightning scar down his side? The book is full of such presumed symbolism but it all remains vague and unfocused."


"Three words. Too. Many. Men. Actually, make that six words. Not. Any. Women."


"I couldn't get into how masculine it was."


"In the chapter, "The Whiteness of the Whale", Melville spends 7 1/2 pages, including a 469 word sentence that takes up just ONE of those pages, saying nothing more complex than that, although white is frequently considered a GOOD color, in the case of Moby Dick, it is a BAD one, because instead of being reminiscent of purity, it is reminiscent of spectrality. Seven and a half PAGES, to say what I, a mere reviewer, can say in 31 words. The whole book is like that"


"Yawn. Check out, Immigrant Song, much better."


"His writing style and sentence structure are poor. It is hard to read. like work. Doubt he could get published today."


"Yeah that's right. I got to be honest, I've only read 10 chapters and that was all that I could take from from this major let down. Honestly I haven't read a good 'american classic' if there is such a thing maybe for the exception of Huck Finn. Those chapters about Ishmael sleeping with whatever his name was and Ishamel had such a good time with the other guy's arm over him and leg over him that he didn't know if he was straight or gay any more. But that's not the point, the point is that this book is horrible, it is even worse then another so called american classic 'the red badge of courage'. I love literatur just as much as the next guy but we must face it 100 years or so ago American literature was reall weak and lagging from the rest of the world, perhaps now they're starting to catch up with writers like Ann Rice and them."


"Man, lots of the reviews on here are pretentious, talking about all sorts of hidden messages of the book that don't exist."


"I personally do not like this book because it was so long. it does not have a bad story line. So i suggest that you read the younger version no matter what age you are. The only way you should read the full thing is if you really love to read, have alot of time, and like alot of boaring points. In this book there is a whale and some men. the men espesially one man was after the whale. i will not give away any names. The whale overpowerd the people all except one. the end was not that good eather. i suggest this for older people who do not have much to do. except read a long book."


"True, literature is seldom interesting, and authors like Dickens and George Eliot are hardly better than Melville, but nevertheless, I believe that a literary text should at least be able to engage the reader and make him/her interested enough in it to finish it, so that the message can be fully comprehended. I did not finish Moby Dick and perhaps never will."

Herman Melville - Moby-Dick

"As long as this is truly NOT about whales, I think I'll be ok."

TROUBLE BREWING


"BOOOOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIINNNNGGG! Yeah! It was boring! I said it! And I was reading this motherfucker in jail!"


"I bought this book for a friend in jail. Alas, he was unable to read it because the font was too small."


"The problem is, though, that if Herman Melville were to submit his book to any modern-day editor, I’m sure it would be rejected for publication ... The narrative finally meandered to the bit about Captain Ahab and his failed whale hunt at Chapter 133. That’s right – we have 132 chapters of exposition. Tedious, tedious exposition, long on minute details and Weird Portents (a la Shakespeare). In fact, Melville seems to have forgotten sometimes that he was writing a novel, because he writes some of his chapters with stage directions, just like Shakespeare"


"Call me Ishmale.

Yeah, that's all I got out of it."


"Another great book of words and sentences. This one delves into great detail of the daily life, sights, sounds, smells, reactions and tenses of the period. But on the whole, the book itself, while each paragraph is a great read, has so MUCH description the story is lost."


"This book has outlived its usefulness."


"I consider this to be one of the worst novels ever written. It is over rated. I have started it four or five times and never finished it."


"I really and truly dislike this book. Personal reasons."

DID HERMAN MELVILLE EAT YOUR LEG


"I can't read old english."


"I can has editor?"


"Sometimes a classic is just an old book that was popular."


"What can you say about a college-course-required read? The only reason it is still on my self is because it is a classic...and I am a bibliophile."


"I can see how this would have been great before the times of radio and tv"


"I have to say, as time goes on and literature becomes easier and easier to get out into the world, and technology is such that we can get books in just about any form, we are inundated with new works all the time. Having said that, I think this is one of those books that because of when it was written, is a classic, but very limited in depth. I had to read this book in high school and it was picked apart by my English teacher from why Ahab was hunting the whale to the motion of his hand beckoning his crew to continue his quest. (If you read this, you should know what I mean). Unfortunately, like many "great" authors such as Shakespeare, Stephen Crane, Hemmingway and in some ways Poe, I think they were greats for their time, but lack luster in today's literary pool. If these were all there were to read, then beggers can't be choosers, but that is no longer the case. Regardless, this is not one I would have picked up to read had I been given the choice. It was boring, uneventful, and it is too difficult to compare with modern stories that are so full of symbolism and have much more exictement in them. I can appreciate the classical historical value of the stories for their time, but don't find them interesting works themselves. I would simply not waste my time on this one had I had a choice."


"the only exception in having something interesting to say before WWII seems to be the germans (e.g. hesse, mann. Not kafka)."


"While I recognize that this book has some vaulable things in it that I could appreciate, this book was very difficult for me to read. This is a man's book and I am a woman."


"The ending is exciting, though rather depressing, because the only survivor was the thinnest person in the book."


"Seriously, were editors not invented yet?"


"Homeboy, Melville, could have benefited from a good editor."

Sophocles - Antigone

"we read this book as a class its about a guy that kills his brother so he can be king or something like that then he leaves him out in the middle of the desert for the dog birds and birds to eat his sister decides to give him a proper burial and then creon finds out and he wants her dead so he locks her away if you want to find out if she lives you will have to read this book"


"Ancient Greek nonsense."


"I understand the Greek style of comedy and these weren't written last year, but nonetheless it seems like it were written for some teen film.

The dry humor Sophocles uses was traditional for his time, and what was a hit in the Greek theater, but its so dated. I wouldnt read this book just to read as a novel and enjoy it, I wouldnt anyway. It just annoys me so much to Sophocles write such trashy humor."


"I would have liked it had it been more easily understandable. Yeah, I don't speak old English. ;)"


"rite. it's hard to rate this book as hard as to understand it.
i've read plays before and fell in love with one of it.
for greek play however this is the first one.
the reason of my first sentence above is that i have difficulties to understand poem. indeed, this play is written in poem-like style.
...
well, i'm not good at (reading) poetry.
enough for greek play.
i guess i will enjoy more of this play when i show it played."


"Surprise, surprise. Someone kills themself and then several others follow suit. Never seen THAT before."


"Suprisingly, this woman-empowered story didn't strike me as great, but I suppose this is one of the first stories of it's kind. In other words, if it wasn't for Antigone, later woman-empowered works wouldn't have come in so early. I guess. xD"


"Amazing...and to think that it really does explore"


"The script of Antigone was not a story I favored ... I think Sophocles main point in writing this script was to entertain the gods,because he would get a bunch of people together and act it out for the gods the best they could,because they had very high respect for the gods in those times."


"Don't waste your time with Sophocles, and try reading other works from that time period like THE MEDITATIONS OF MARCUS ARELIUS. I promise that it is much better!"


"In general this book didn't rock my sock. I don't typically like the format of plays and how they are written."


"I really didn't like this book. It was too boring and plain. The book just didn't interest me. The dialougue is kind of lame and boring. It has a good message but it is just to boring. This was just written too long ago , and its dead. I would not recommend to any reader in the 21st century. This book is just to old . There are to many metaphors and english rhetoric stratigies . I would recommend this to anyone ."


"I thought Antigone was a great tragedy. However, I did not like it because it was a tragedy."


"Incredibly dull. Sophocles should have ended it at Oedipus Rex."


"Crappy love story."

Nathaniel Hawthorne - The Scarlet Letter II

"I'll admit right up front that I am stupid."

THANK YOU


"I'm not a 'reader' type, so this book, for me, was awful."


"This is the most boring book I have ever read.
This is the most boring book I have ever read"


"Oh, and by the way who decided that this was a classic romantic book, there is nothing romantic about this novel, nor anything good. If you are in the mood for a good romance shoot for Nora Roberts or Sandra Brown, they can actually write!"


"Maybe if it was somewhat interesting I would read it - but it has nothing to do with modern life."


"Much of this section concentrates on Hester's illegitimate daughter Pearl, who is the most overt symbol in the book and is constantly referred to as "elvish" though she is nothing like an elf; elves inspire cheer and contentment"


"I'm sure I would be able to understand the vivid descriptions and symbolism in this book much better, if Hawthorne were not writing in some sort of moon man language."


"Things don't symbolize anything. If they do, then you're thinking too hard."


"To me this book would turn a young person, like my self away from the key and enjoyment of reading . Being a book with extensive mistakes in it, it is very difficult to read unless you are to inerpret it every paragraph or should I say sentence. I't maybe a classic, but I feel that the word 'classic' comes from just being old........................................................................................................p.s the only reason I put a star was because I had to, to express my opinion on he novel."


"The only reason Nathaniel Hawthorne is a classic is because he wrote fancy and he is dead. In fact Hawthorne never wrote an interesting word in his life."


"THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF WORDS PER SENTENCE IS 22.1! THAT IS IN THE 80TH PERCENTILE FOR RUN-ON SENTENCE STATISTICS!"


"I never really did believe in the whole 'they completely ostracized her but let her stitch everything.' That is just a bit hypocritical, either she was excepted as prat of the society *which she was not) or she wasn't (which she almost was. See that just doesn't make any sense."


"I should note that I am a little weary of romance novels in general. First of all, anyone eager to read this book for its romantic theme, forget it! In the modern sense, this is not in anyway associated with romance or (for the most part)love ... Although I despise stories with a lustful or romantic appeal, I would have been far better satisfied had that been the case of this novel. Don't misinterpret me, Hawthorne is a terrific and classical writer, but this novel IS NOT CLASSICAL!"


"This book is one of the last masterpieces written as American literature moved from what we call 'Old English' (use the much cliched Olde if you must) to 'New English.' And trust me, it shows."


"It has an okay plot and okay characters, but the book is not one for teens of the 90's ... The teens of today do not want to read about the ancient customs of puritan society."


"It's a typical example of pre-20th century bad writing."


"The story is about the struggles of a woman named Hester Prynne...alright...let me just say that by the end you are 'supposed' to be in tears over what a courageous-hero this women is for putting up with all her hardships (this emotional response the author hoped the invoke is the WHOLE point of the book). NOW let me tell you why this sentiment is flawed. HESTER PRYNNE IS A CHEAP FLOOZY!!! I have no idea why people can't understand this point. The woman is married to a good professional man and she goes and decides to have a one-night-stand with the town minister, gets knocked-up, and the town realizes she is an adulterer when she bears her misbegotten child ... I AM SUPPOSED TO FEEL SORRY FOR THIS NYMPHOMANIAC!?! Well I didn't."

Nathaniel Hawthorne - The Scarlet Letter

"It was extremely difficult to read because of all the big words in it"


"I'd like to know why anyone would consider this a 'classic' or why it's ever taught in schools. It's technically American Lit, I suppose, but it's so close to being of the British style that it barely counts as an American creation. When would it be fairly and appropriately studied? My vote: Never."


"There were just way too many Christians per square inch for my taste."


"Okay, I know that this is a classic and required reading for many high schools across the country BUT, do you really want your kids reading about a married woman who has an illicit affair with a man of the cloth and bears his bastard child? If you are okay with this, why not give your kid The Thorn Birds. After all, it has the same exact premise, doesn't try to pass itself off as 'classic literature' and will send the same message to your kids. Anything goes.

I see my age giving me certain freedoms that I have not allowed myself before, one of them being speaking my mind openly. My opinion is this . . . classic or not, I do not want my teenage daughter or granddaughter reading this book in school or otherwise.

I cannot imagine what Nathaniel Hawthorne was thinking when he wrote this book but I can guaranty you that he probably did not have children, particularly female children, when he did. And by the way, the man can't write for shinola! I couldn't care less who he is, he simply cannot write.

I do not think this is appropriate reading material for anyone under the age of 18 and sue me, but if this book were written in contemporary times with contemporary characters, it would never make it to the juvenile category let alone be blessed with the word 'classic'. It would be labeled 'smut fiction'."


"According to the quiz: I've read this (knew Hector's name)"


"So me get this straight. The moral of this book is that one must follow the bible in an old world, amish sort of a way, and if you don't, you deserve to forever sulk in your shame and have absolutely no right to be happy?"


"It's A by the way. The letter they're talking about is 'A'"


"This is probably one of the WORST books I have ever read. It is written similar to Elisabthan English, which everything is symbolic of something."


"She was forced to wear an 'A' for 'A whore.'"


"It also made me made because i am not a fan of the puritan times at all so i was not a fan of this book."


"So many people reccomended this to me since I like 'old-timey' bookes. I really couldn't get past the 'thous' 'yester eve' etc.

I ended up skipping ahead, reading the end, renting the movie which I didn't enjoy either!"


"This book is why god made book burnings."


"This book is pretty much everything wrong with our education system today. It is out of date, it's read pretty much consistently across the board whether it's applicable or not, and its lessons aren't entirely fundamental to today's society and what little value is to be learnt in this book, is better learned by other means.

The fact is that people are getting smarter. All the time ... And we're really too smart for a book whose object lessons are so comically out of date in today's society."


"After reading it for a while, I got to thinking that the author, Hawthorne, was very similar to the creatures in the Lord of the Rings that were called the Ents. The Ents would take several hours to say hello to one another, so it would take forever to say anything important. This seemed to be the case in The Scarlet Letter."


"What should be a pretty juicy tale - Salem witchery, sexy priests and children possessed - is canceled by numerous, multi-claused, tedious asides about the physiognomies of village elders and the precise hue of forest leaves or whatnot. This would never pass muster in a Black Lace novel."


"Just because it was one of the first novels written in America doesn't make this a great book. People have an over-infatuation of 'first' things."


"Hawthorne uses so many fancy-fuck words that it really distracts from the story. Some people like that shit and will probably try to call me out on it and say that I am not smart enough to appreciate Hawthorne, but to those people I say, 'Fuck you. You are not smart enough not to.'"


"I'm sure I was missing something, but it seemed to me at the time the author in some way was trying to condone adultery, which I do not."


"I prefer things that are a little bit deeper."


"Considered a 'classic,' but is it dated? Pick up an Us Weekly and try to convince yourself that TSL wasn't written 500 years ago."


"VERY MUCH A DRAMA. It is historical in its content, but it was not written for today's fast paced, energetic books."


"The song goes along to the rap 'Jennie from the block.' Here you go:

I'm still, I'm still Hestor on the block,
I got caught so now I'm on the spot
something, something,
I'm still, I'm still Hester on the block.

You're welcome"

Tolstoy - War and Peace

"classical reading re: wwII"


"SIGH! What a bore! The book tries countless amounts of times to tickle my fancy, failing miserably every time."


"funny how a book can be famous by tyhe pure and simple fact that it is extremely long and barely anyone has read it from cover to cover. i got to the second page then gave up; i only got it as a laugh out of a charity shop"


"Who reads thick books? Not me."


"The problem with war and peace is its alot about war"


"I love to read and have often read books in a single sitting. This 'Classic' book is so long that it wouldn't be easy to read in one sitting even for the fastest speed-reader."


"Written for a different time/cultural background, etc.
Might have been good in it's time, but the language structure is not really accesible by modern readers."


"That guy seriously needed an editor with a forceful personality, as his most famous books are far too long."


"The book is no doubt a work of art as far as the cannon is concerned, but as a sit-down enjoyable piece of literature for today's society and advancement, it's outdated. In my humble opinion It's not a timeless piece."


"What can I say? If I had to hear one more 3 page description of tapestries I was going to have to put a gun barrel in my mouth!"


"WHY CANT THEY JUST USE THE PERSONS FIRST NAME?!?!"


"I found this book to be truly boring at certain points. The huge vocabulary and weird language in english made it harder to actually depict what the writer is trying to say. Its amazing that ths book is truly long and took me a while to read part of this book.

The way the author wrote this book, I find is amazingly hard compare to other great classic novels I read. This novel takes about the war that was going against the Russians. The war has some effect to actually depict the scenes of going to war and becoming at peace at last."


"This type of literature is not going to hold an audience anymore. So many people have the opportunity to live interesting lives nowadays why would they stop to read a novel of this length about a bunch of fictional charaters when they could be spending the time actually LIVING their own lives?"


"There's no such thing as a great novel
While cultural pundits try to convince you that some literature is better than other literature, the truth is that all art is relative to individial tastes. Thus, it doesn't make any sense to think that a novel like this one is really any better than say, Michael Crichton or Stephen King. Aesthetic standards can't be grounded.

Thus, don't listen to anyone who tries to distinguish between 'serious' works of literature like this one and allegedly 'lesser' novels. The distinction is entirely illusory, because no novels are 'better' than any others, and the concept of a 'great novel' is an intellectual hoax."


"While our Lord said the meek will inherit the earth did He really mean reverse Darwinism would play out leaving our globe popuated by cockroaches? The French version of the Bible translates the word 'meek' as 'debonnier,' the later meaning implies one who accepts Creation with some modicum of grace."


"'Atlas Shrugged' (1951) was the last 'great' novel."


"This is without a doubt the most overrated novel in history. I have been struggling to get through it for 20 years (true story... I started reading this dreck in 1984) and I'm just now 1/2 way through. How this long-winded pointless book became known as one of the great novels is beyond me."


"The characters are pathetic, not unrealistic, mind you , but just weak and puny in the way they think and live. Most of them are of the aristocratic class with large amounts of money, throwing parties and the like to impress one another. I am sure Bret Easton Ellis would have a field day with the social elite that inhabit War and Peace"

AH YES, IF ONLY WE COULD HAVE WAR AND PEACE AS CONCEIVED BY THAT VISIONARY OF INSIGHTFUL AND MULTIFACETED SOCIAL CRITIQUE, BRET EASTON ELLIS. PERHAPS I COULD SCRATCH OUT A PITIFUL SKETCH OF THIS GLIMMERING MIRAGE WHICH SHINES THROUGH TO US, ON THE EDGE OF OUR VISION, FROM SOME GOLDEN WORLD THAT NEVER WAS:

WAR AND PEACE
BY BRET EASTON ELLIS

PRINCE ANDREI, WHO WAS WEARING A PALE BLUE COLLARED SHIRT WITH THE COLLAR FOLDED IN A WAY THAT MADE HIM LOOK PRETTY COOL, SNORTED UP HIS CUSTOMARY BREAKFAST, EIGHT LINES OF COKE, AND LOOKED AT THE BILLBOARD IN FRONT OF HIS ESTATE. "BUY CONSUMER GOODS," IT SAID. PRINCE ANDREI WOULD OFTEN LOOK FOR HOURS AT THIS BILLBOARD. IT GAVE HIM A FEELING OF DEEP AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE FEAR, FEAR THAT HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, BUT THAT WAS PROBABLY RELATED TO THE MESSAGE THE BILLBOARD CONVEYED CONCERNING CONSUMER GOODS.

HE TOOK A BOTTLE OF 120 PROOF VODKA FROM THE CABINET AND SAT ON THE LOVESEAT, DRINKING A LOT OF VODKA. HE TURNED ON MTV AND LOST HIMSELF IN THE HYPNOTIZING FORCES OF POPULAR CULTURE THAT MTV REPRESENTS IN THIS, MY NOVEL ABOUT THE MODERN WORLD. HE WATCHED VIDEO AFTER VIDEO. HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME WAS PASSING BUT IT WAS PROBABLY A LOT OF TIME. AT SOME POINT A VIDEO BY THE BAND LED ZEPPELIN CAME ON. ANDREI PICKED UP THE BEAT AND STARTED TO NOD HIS HEAD. "I REALLY LIKE LED ZEPPELIN," HE SAID TO HIMSELF. IF ANY READERS OF MY BOOK ARE ALSO INTO LED ZEPPELIN PLEASE CONTACT BRET EASTON ELLIS AT THE EMAIL PROVIDED ON THE DUST JACKET AND MAYBE WE CAN CHILL. YOU KNOW, HANG OUT. SMOKE A SPLIFF. TALK ABOUT WHATEVER.

SUDDENLY PRINCE ANDREI'S BEST FRIEND COUNT PIERRE BEZUKHOV BURST IN WITH THE REMAINS OF A CHILD PROSTITUTE DANGLING FROM HIS GENITALS. "ANDREI, BRO," SAID PIERRE, "WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?"

PRINCE ANDREI DIDN'T HAVE ANY PLANS AND DIDN'T FEEL MUCH LIKE WATCHING MORE MTV SO HE GOT IN THE CARRIAGE WITH PIERRE AND PIERRE PICKED UP SPEED AND GOT ONTO THE ROAD.

"HEY PIERRE," SAID ANDREI UNEMOTIONALLY, "WHERE ARE WE GOING?"

"I DON'T KNOW, BROMEISTER," SAID PIERRE.

"BUT THIS ROAD DOESN'T GO ANYWHERE."

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, BROSTOEVSKY."

"THEN...... WHAT IS IMPORTANT, PIERRE?"

"JUST THAT WE'RE ON IT, DUDE. JUST THAT WE'RE ON IT."






...............FUCK YOU

Shakespeare - Othello

"It may have been genial, but nowadays it's just cliché."


"Shakespeare wrote the play as satire on events taking place during his time but it still holds true today. We see that when it stereo-typed and one tries to prove other wise he can end up playing into them."


"read it in jail. i hate shakespeare and this definitely made jail feel more jail-like"


"This is the one Shakespeare play I just don't like and NO I'm not being racist or anything ... He has no experience about women-especially white women 'cause there is a difference between all races of women-there is-no lie."


"I didn't like how two people could be so in love"


"Shakespeare did achieve his goal because I learned that there really is no point to racism."


"WEll my friend matt is always in my third period class and he is Phillipino. He is made fun of every day by a couple kids in class and everyday he grows angry. I feel bad for the poor guy. All he ever wanted was someone to be his friend. I liked the fact that there were a lot of people who died at the end of the book."


"I like how this play can make one correlate to the outside world (text-to-world)."


"Othello is a moor and not a traditional european character, so the play had a racist feel to it the whole time."


"By the way, in 'EXCALIBUR' King Arthur SAW his wife sleeping with Lance a Lot, and he could not bring himself to kill them ... I find it most fitting to conclude with a quote from 'Slayer' to Othello: 'Hell Awaits.'"


"Look, here it is. I know everyone says how great and everything Othello is and that this Shakespeare guy is like a genius. But what it comes down to is it is just like this white guy from Ireland who never went to Italy and stuff and like all his plays all take place there and stuff. I mean, did Shakespeare actually know someone named Romeo? But that's not the point. This whole play sucks. I didn't get involved at all and I couldn't relate to none of the characters. Plus when my teacher said that Othello is actually black, I, as a white person, took offense to it. So to all you out there in cyber space, just avoid this no matter what."


"This is a sad story.
Everyone in this story is very poor.
Without crying, you can't read this book."


"I hate shakespeare and all of his books. Just another dumb one coming right atchya. Honest Iago is actually really not that honest at all... weird how that works. othello kills himself in the end after he kills emilia i do believe. Iago escapes in the end which is just a complete failure cause he got away with everything that he did wrong."

Vladimir Nabokov - Lolita II

"don't like books about child rape..."


"It's hard to have respect for this book or the author of it when all this book is trying to do is convince you that Humbert is genuine and this is true love and somehow this relationship should be seen as acceptable. That's why we have laws on child rape: because there is no excuse good enough to justify it being good, and even if there was such an excuse, it doesn't make the act itself good for the child. Any portrayal of child rape is inexcusable, just like any act of child rape gets is inexcusable in real life. Why else would so much time be spent on showing us how Humbert, the man with the weirdest name i've ever heard by the way, loves Lolita, if not to try to win people over so they'll throw their morals and respect for the law out the window? ... Furthermore, the story has made the destruction of a wholesome and healthy parental and community unit look like a positive thing, like it's benefting the child to live with a crazed wealthy sex offender ... Art is part of real life too, and should be treated the same way you'd treat any real life event."


"There are too many words and the paragraphs are far too long."


"took forever to Finnish"


"A colleague of mine pointed out that Nabokov was a Russian immigrant and that his style of writing reflects conventions and structures found in many Russian novels. However, Lolita is not a work written in Russian for Russians. It is a novel written in English for American popular consumption. Shouldn't the style reflect this?"


"Why the hype, they say it's a classic a must read, I don't see it! The guy is sick in the head and basically kidnaps, blackmails. brian washes and has sex with an 12 yr old"

BRIAN, THE WORLD'S MOST HYGIENIC CHILD RAPIST


"As a professor of English and as a feminist (and the mother of a young girl), I have never been able to ignore the troubling content nor the blatent misogyny in this text to appreciate Nabokov's clever narrative structure. If men think this is a love story, then, goddess help us all."


"I can't imagine that if you changed the premise and put Lolita at the age of consent, that many people would find this book worthy at all."


"I read the summary and I read the reviews and thought this book would be fabulous. The perfect book for my vacation; an adult story line to keep you interested and an arousing theme to keep you entertained on the beach. Well I was wrong! The author strings you along through the first quarter of the book with his dreaming of this young girl, finally gets her and doesn't tell you about it! Instead, he drowns on about the sites they saw across the US! What a bore! I've got half way through this book and have absolutely no desire to continue reading it! I was so looking forward to enjoying this novel. What a disappointment!"


"It took me FIVE MONTHS to read this book, and I am a fast reader."

NO YOU'RE NOT

"The book took me two years to read"

WAIT MAYBE YOU ARE


"There seems to be a lolita movement, where women try to look like young girls to be sexy. So I don't recommend this book if you want to gain any wisdom. So many better books out there."


"Perhaps it is the highly praised talent of the author that made me feel uncomfortable and uneasy from page one. I am not a book critic or literature professor, but to me that is not a good thing."


"I always like to read classics to see if they live up to the hype. I guess I just wanted more perversion..."


"I can understand the main character's passion though, as I can vividly recall the tide of emotions that raked my soul during my own adolescent loves. A different time (in which everyone died young), a different culture and mood, who knows what may have been in centuries past? Another time (when everyone died young), another culture and mood, who know what secrets the past holds? Now it is just too taboo."


"Maybe it was all the French I can't understand or pronounce and therefore don't care about."


"If this was read in court by a defendant, we would demand that he be jailed, castrated, killed, yet call it literature and we shout 'Masterpiece!'."


"The Narrator is the bad guy. (which I kind of like as a theory--too bad that the bad guy is actually *bad*)"


"Likewise, the writing is all very coy. Sex happens, and I miss it. While I understand that such censoring was necessary back when this was written, I'm afraid that my modern tastes find it all very disruptive, unappealing. I want to hear the story, not some behind-the-curtain facsimile of it."


"It was read to me by a very strong accent....I felt dirty listening to it. I guess it was like watching a trainwreck."


"Bottom line - I wanted this book to be dirty. It wasn't."


"this book is tell about a lecture who falling in love with the girl. yeah, you are right. he is phedophile, and there are many things that hide by the words."

Vladimir Nabokov - Lolita

"The main character doesn't give adequate reasons for being a pedophile."


"Prose-wise, this book is absolutely nothing special."


"So pros writing is crap. I don't need every detail of every feeling, every single day. This book had a weak story line and the only reason why I can think that it has been so popular for the last sixty years is because there are a lot of perverts who enjoy hearing about the forty plus year old Humbert Humbert who is molesting a thirteen to eighteen year old. In real life this girl would never have a normal life. She would be ruined and honestly I started skipping around and not even reading all the narrative at about page 188. This was terrible and Nabakov aught to be ashamed. which of course he isn't and he elaborates on his pride in the afterword of this story."


"This book makes me hate all men and Modernity and civilization, and I am still trying to forget I read it. Art, shmart."


"I really thought this was going to be about him adoring little girls in a nostolgic sweet fashion in his old age. I wasn't expecting him to try to live out his lost fantasies of his prepubercent years. I have to say I didn't want to give this thing any stars. Maybe because I'm a mother including 2 little girls that I can't get past the fact that he's a pedophile. I don't care if it's consensual or whatever. It's sick."


"Somewhere mid-way through I began to fold down the corners of the pages instead of using a respectful bookmark."


"To be good, character-driven novels need characters in them that are either (a) interestingly relatable to the reader, (b) uniquely interesting, (c) or both ... For example, Jonathan Safran Foer’s Oskar (from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close) is a nine-year-old multilingual, academic, pacifistic, and musical vegan raised in the information age of New York and tragically affected by 9-11; this makes Oskar a character to whom I can relate ... And then, there is Superman who is uniquely interesting in that he is an alien from another planet but also relatable to the reader in that his human life is very average in terms of social status, romantic preferences, and creative achievements; what makes Clark Kent interesting is that he leads an average life even though he has superpowers.

Lolita:

Nobody I know reminds me of the psychopathic narrator or the bratty, apparently seductive, protagonist. As for myself, since I’m (luckily) neither a pedophile nor a nymphet, I cannot in any way relate to Humbert Humbert or Dolores Haze. Hence, for me to have liked 'Lolita' would entail Nabokov’s depiction of characters that are unique."


"Girls want to be Lolita--they hold her up as--if not a role model, then a relatable character or a heroine. A sexually powerful child ahead of her years."


"In the same opening chapters, he refers to something as 'Mc___', also in jest, but I lost the bookmark to where it was and will NOT re-read till I find it. What it made me think of was on the television show 'Friends', when they want to make fun of a characteristic of each other, say when Chandler smokes, Rachel might call him 'Smokey McSmokerson'. So are these funny names, used throughout the show's run, a literary nod to Nabokov? Could they be? I doubt it. But clearly this was written before that show!"


"Instead of Humbert Humbert raping an underage girl, you might as well reanimate Nabokov and have him rape you"


"It's pathetic why some men are perverts, allowed to roam the streets. Lola is the face of every little girl in this country who watches adult television, believing they are mature beyond their years, until they are faced with adult situations, then cry, wishing they could get their childhoods back. All because of bad parenting."


"One has to wonder if a character can be a sick-o and the author not?"


"I read Lolita along time ago and it has always been a taboo for an older man to be with a young girl and always will be. I think the subject matter is something that is not as prevalent in today's society as it once was because of changes in the law to prevent that situation. I think this book was a product of the Beat Generation, who were the precursors to the Hippie Movement, who then turned into the Bob, Ted, Carol, and Alice generation. This generation of people were swingers and did not care how they treated anyone and this book was proof of that abuse that this older generation created. I have a problem with an older generation of people who have disappointed me because became a Conservative Christian at age 20 and was taught right from wrong in the Church. I was also taught to do good things for people, to help persons in need, be self-sacrificing and I learned to be compassionate to people in need and not destructive."


"There was an overuse of polysyllabic words."


"It was just __too__ __bent__! I read it a long time ago and I _don't_ recommend it. He puts you _way_ too far into a perverts mind..."


"In today's society, the author could not write this book without going to jail."


"The book was hard to follow and I honestly felt repulsed the entire 42 pages I unfortunately did read."


"How could anyone think this is a great love story? Am I missing something?"


"Nabokov manages to annoy me as well. I appreciate learning new words from books as much as the next person, but never have I read a book with so many new words ... I don't need this many new words in what is a relatively short book. In context, it is surprisingly easy to imagine other words that could have been used but for some reason, it was decided to wow the audience. I fail to appreciate it."

NABOKOV IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR IGNORANCE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. VIRGIL IS NOT A BAD POET JUST BECAUSE YOU CANNOT READ LATIN

OH

OH. WAIT

"too many french phrases"

WAIT A MINUTE

"His constant use of French phrases is irritating. How many of us speak French?"

OH

"And the single worst thing about it is the way the author throws French phrases into the mix, as well as French sentences, and leaves us almost never understanding what the heck he means.....because he doesn't explain any of them to the reader."

....OH




"1.) I'm bored 2.) He uses too many allusions to other novels, so that if you're not well read, this book makes no sense. 3.) Most American readers are not fluent in French, so to have conversations or interjections in French with no translation, is plain dumb. 4.) Did I mention I was bored? 5.) As with another reviewer, I agree, he uses a lot of huge words that just slow a person down."

AAAAGH FUCK

Samuel Beckett - Endgame

"I read the one-act Endgame this morning. It's on my grad school reading list, and it was alright. I'd rather have read the book by Derrick Jensen by the same name, or even the Sonic the Hedgehog comic book. ;)

The big theme I saw in the play was entropy--cool scifi theme! Everything repeats by gradually decays. The bodies of the characters become more dilapidated. I also noticed some interesting power dynamics: Clov is the only character who is mobile, but he's a servant and can't explain why he always obeys (although he does refuse to kiss or touch Hamm). But overall this play was too dark and masculine and existential and abstract for me! Maybe I just have a hard time engaging in literature that doesn't directly engage politics?"


"Reading it by itself with no reference to the authors intentions would be very confusing, but he manages in very simple 'absurd' ways to get across the point that after WWI most people lost hope and turned to absurdism instead of religion to explain life. Sad times..."


"I know this play is suppose to be a classic and a master of it's genre. But if this is the best this genre can produce, this genre must be worse than 'Plan 9 From Outer Space'. The play is trite and cliched. It's whole meaning is that everything is meaningless. Is it just me or is that a bit ironic? Unless you have to read this play for school, don't read it. If I had gone to see this play in a theatre I would have walked out after 5 minuntes. Why can't people write good and decent plays like Shakespeare or Sophoclese. (I know I spelled them wrong, Sorry.) This new genre of pointless dialogue is, well, pointless. I wonder if all of these playwrites are writing these plays and laughing at the fools that think they are good. Beckett is probably laughing in his grave because he is still fooling people. If you like non-sense, and you like to look like you are philisophical, go ahead and read it, but don't say you weren't warned."


"The characters don't seem real or human to me."


"'Endgame' is a crude and despicable play. It's not a classic and a pitiable excuse of a play. Utterly useless and does not deserve our time. The characters are one dimensional, lacking, and unrealistic. The plot is morally confusing and worthless. I do not recommend."


"Anyone can write literal nonsense and say that it means nothing. This is an unimpressive trick. I see a lot of 5 star reviews on here and a lot of people who think the writing is like-totally-amazing(!1). It seems like one of those books/movies everyone pretends to understand in order to look really deep. Unfortunately, there's nothing deep about nihilism. It's sort of funny, but intentionally shallow and therefore not profound."


"A pessimistic take on human 'love' and 'kindness'... For those with disabilities, simultaneously deeply offensive and groundbreakingly revolutionary (depending on the way one slants it)."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez - One Hundred Years of Solitude II

"The book could have been cut down to one sentence. This dude founded a town Macondo which was destroyed seven generations later."


"A Skilled Rapist ... Marquez pushes a dizzying and horrifying picture of the human condition, which left me feeling as if I had been raped."


"this is one of the books that forced me to have to fight (with the help of a very great and kind Librarian (probably why I have a thing for Librarians) to get my adult library card and access to adult materials, she would stash the books next to the newspaper rack for me (she really was a true goddess) I thought it was non- Imaginative and Wordy, the Imagery really Impacted my brain and since I never knew any more than a few hispanic or spanish people I was fascinated by the way those people thought. I remember thinking maybe some day I would grow up and think that way too."


"The incestuous scenes abound and were a shock to me. Why so much incest? Perhaps I'm failing to grasp the unique Latin-American culture this book is supposed to have captured so perfectly."


A SELECTION OF PEOPLE EXPLAINING THEY ARE IN FACT VERY SMART AND THEY REALLY DID TRY TO FINISH THIS NOVEL WHICH ANY SUFFICIENTLY WELL-BEHAVED ORANGUTAN COULD UNDERSTAND


"This book made me feel less of the 'ardent reader' that I thought I was...I tried, I really really tried"


"It is one of the few books I never finished. I figured it was only fair to put a book I didn't like on this list, since there are so many I do like, just for balance. ;-)"


"It is a rare occasion that I don't finish a book."


"This is the first book I wasn't able to finish since I was a lazy student back in the day. I tried really hard to like it and get into it but failed."


"Ok, I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, but I had no idea whether the book was written to be laughed at or to be thought provoking."


"couldn't finish it - that almost never happens"


"I got about 50 pages into the book and quit. It takes a lot for me to not stick it out so there you have it, that's my review."


"Well, I tried. One of maybe 5 books ever that I haven't been able to finish out of sheer boredom."


"one of about 4 books in my life that I was unable to complete...it just went ON and on...but I didn't."


"This is the only book I never finished!"


"I finish pretty much every book I read, but I just couldn't with this one."


"This book was so horrible and uninteresting, I put it down and never picked up back up...and I never do that."


"i can count on one hand the number of books i've put down without finishing. this is one of them. i got 20 pages in and just couldn't take it anymore."

MY DEAR WOMAN CONSIDER IT A VICTORY YOU CAN COUNT AT ALL


"read half way through this book and had to stop. Typically I'm religious about 'not counting' a book if it isn't read all the way through. (This very rarely happens... I have read through some bad literature in my days.) But reading half this book took nearly a month and a half- and the fact that I made it that far is something I'm really proud of."


"I hardly ever give up on a book, and if I do it's always early on when I see it's not what I thought it was.
I made it half way through this book before I threw it down. It was a tough decision."


"This was perhaps the very first book that I put down without finishing."


"Boy, I really worked on this. I REALLY tried to read it and make sense of it, but by the time I was two-thirds of the way through I thought...what the heck, why waste my time?"


"Okay, I tried. I really, really tried. I'm sure that this book has significant value and literary significance and all that, but I just couldn't finish it."


"I can count on one hand the number of books that I've started and not finished, but I just couldn't keep reading this one."


"I have been an avid book reader all my life and this is the ONLY book I just COULDN"T finish. I found it confusing, boring and too long!!"


"I finish 98% of the books I start. Couldn't finish this one."


"I couldn't finish it. I tried--I really did. Then I decided life is too short, and I should move on."


"I didn't finish it. That's rare for me, but I've decided not to push myself to read things that I simply do not like."


"Like other reviewers here, I hardly ever give up on a book. But about 30 pages into the SECOND attempt, I am feeling exhausted."


"This is one of the very few books I've stopped reading halfway through. And I have no intention of ever finishing it. Despite the fact that I horde books, I gave this one away."


"I have to admit that I didn't even finish reading this book. I made it through the first hundred pages and then I had to stop. I don't think you can go 20 pages without reading about someone having sex, and if you asked me what else this book was about, I'd have a pretty hard time coming up with an answer."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez - One Hundred Years of Solitude

"uhh no offense BUT THIS book should SUCK MY BALLS! um the amazing truth is that i didn't read IT!!!!!!!! but i read a few line sof the summar y thouh. it probably has to do someth ing wit hprophecies and that is why little noobies like the 5 raters have no sense of quantum mechanics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously wh y do we have to listen to the prphecy EH? BATMAN prophecies are assuming that time is presaid already which goes AGAINST QUANTUM MECHANICS!
QUANTUM MECHANICS IS WRONG? i think so....... every physiscs discovery is wrong thes DAYSSS .
baertrand would see alberts hinf beams pathing him at the full speed of lih ght! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7vpw4AH8QQ
since i dont have no idea what the book is about i andre wills just say tat it SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
X^yz+y^xz+Y^xy=X^y*Y^z*z^x"


"Alas the mother dies! Alas the father is so bereft that. . . the baby is eaten by ants! I know that I should be moved, but I am laughing."


"The Buendias are generally selfish. They act in truly outlandish fashion but not in a manner that is entertaining. And they are just dumb. They act in many instances like primitives or even like people suffering from mental retardation. In fact, it seems, from Garcia Marquez’s descriptions of her behavior, that Remedios the Beauty may, in fact, be retarded. I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with those who suffer from mental retardation or with depictions of those who truly are mentally retarded, but the Buendias are not described as suffering from any mental defects, and yet they seem to be really, really stupid."


"I will never understand why this was required school reading even if the arthur was spanish."


"Someone implored me to finish this and I was like: NO! I got three quarters through; read the rest of the plot on SparkNotes. And read the final chapter for effect. I'm a rational adult human being who craves real issues and emotion in fiction. Fuck this."


"I'm sorry, but don't we spend 12 years trying to teach kids that story telling is more than 'this happened, then this happened, then this happened.' I'm proud to be a literary dissident on this one."


"I am a pretty intelligent person - lots of education - But I just couldn't follow this book. It was like it was written by a crazy person. Somewhere in the middle of the book I realized that one sentence was 2 pages long. People with the same name. I missed the metta messages. I couldn't get beyond the black and white. I didn't do well in English Literature class in college - just couldn't figure out the poetry - it was like a foreign language. That's what this book seems like. It was poetic but it made no sense to me."


"This book seemed to take a hundred years to read, mostly because I was you tube instead."


"This book is often called a novelist's novel and it is frequently cited by people (who I frankly doubt have finished it) as a great read. It isn't. There is little to no dialogue."


"Why do people like this interminable, tedious series of letters placed one after another on the printed page?"


"Where is the unreliable narrator? Where are the linguistic pyrotechnics?"


"Most overrated book in modern literature. I've tried reading it at least four times. Never finished it. It's in the same rack with Ulysses and The Sound and the Fury. Anyone who says they've read this book and can differentiate between all the characters and tell you what it's about can go tell it on a mountain."


"Would have been interesting if I could get past the 'storytelling' type of narrative."


"I heard that Spanish writing style involves going in circles, returning to the point in ever widening spirals, instead of the English mode of more linear plot development, and I thought--aha! That's why that book drove me nuts!"


"I found this books subject matter to really nieve. The topic lacked substance"


"It is a little kooky and written by a man and so maybe that is why it is considered to be good. The moral of the story is: time repeats itself and you cannot go back into the past no matter how nostalgic you are. Duh."


"it wasn't good enough to earn my focus."


"I would not recommend this book. The author is obviously base and low. There is not a character in this book who does not stoop to the lowest human characteristics possible. They are mentally, sexually, and physically ill."


"The thing with the so-called classics is this: if you don't care for one of them, or if you don't personally think one of them is a great book, you must be 'missing the point' somehow. Maybe you're simply not that smart, or maybe you're just a shallow reader. One way or another, though, you're deficient and the book is a masterpiece.

Well, I dispute this. I'm not an idiot and I'm not deficient."


"I am beginning to wonder if people say they love books like this because they just want to appear really smart and well read... it just has to be a hoax of some sort."

Shakespeare - King Lear

"Well lets begin by estating that Shakespeare shouldn't be read under any circumstance"


"I won't lie... I didn't even finish this one. All of the false identity business was giving me a headache. Fortunately, I'm not the kind of person who just HAS to finish every book she starts. Why waste my life reading a book I don't like when there are thousands of other ones just waiting to be devoured? I love resting in that kind of literary freedom. Hah!"


"i have taken turds that could write better than this."


"Horrible. Historical and horrible."


"I've been told it's the most tragic story ever told but I just don't care. You know what's tragic? A husband dealing with the death of his wife, or a child, real characters or real events that we can associate with. Those things are tragic because they are real, because we can read about real people with real horror. Lear isn't real."

VERY GOOD. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S KING LEAR IS IN FACT A STAGE PLAY


"Saw the play, read the book. Didn't like either. Too much death."


"I did not enjoy this book because i do not enjoy Shakespeare. Although i did not enjoy this book i did notice that the key point in Shakespeare's book represents us as humans. The obssesed Harold Bloom said that Shakespeare created humanity and that Shakespeare created our personalities( a little crazy, i know), because of the ways Shakespeare portrays his characters. Besides realizing that this man Harold Bloom is a crazy man who loves Shakespeare, you should read King Lear if you enjoy reading about MADNESS, BETRAYAL, JUSTICE, AND THE FALLING OF A FAMILY. And Lastly, figuring out what part of nature represents who we are in society."


"well im convince this wasnt written in english soo it was aweful"


"While I enjoyed PARTS of this play, I thought Mr. Shakespeare was a little confused about the central nature of love and compasion."


"Another Macbeth
Average, mediocre play. Boring, tedious, and grim plot, with an unoriginal cast of characters. I don't really recommed it."


"One concern I still have pertains to Shakespeare’s state of mind. The death count continues to rise with each book of his that I read and I feel that he might have been slightly homicidal or suicidal. I understand the whole idea of being realistic and dealing with true events of life, and death is a very important part of life, yet there has to be a limit to how many of his characters he kills at the end of his plays. He created such a rich, complicated character in King Lear and then ends up killing him. Basically every important character in the play dies except for Edgar, Kent and Albany. This definitely gave the play a very pessimistic ending."


"Some people go so far as to claim it the greatest literary work ever written! How could such a radical proclamation be true with the legacies of writers such as Joyce, Pynchon, Stein, Whitman?"


"In comparison to Shakespeare's other works, King Lear didn't fair so well and shall only be known as the play with a crazy old man who believes that an equally crazy, half-naked beggar is a philosopher."

Marcel Proust - In Search of Lost Time

"There's no way he'd make a decent TV listings writer. I soon got into the habit of reading the first three words of a sentence, and then judging whether to pursue the rest of it. It worked quite well as a technique in terms of getting me through the book."


"The main problem with Proust (and his admirers) is that they are convinced that the French aristocracy, with all their trivial concerns and all their trivial conversations, were actually interesting. In reality, they were very dull and conventional people. One of Proust's friends actually said that to him, but Proust was too status-struck to listen.

The only character in the books I liked was Charles Morel"


"such unnecessary language..."


"A lot of peeps be saying that Proust and not Joyce is the best writer ever (or of the 20th century, which is the same thing really) but judging from this first volume Proust is merely the culmination of the literary styles before him while Joyce moves beyond those and off into other realms entirely. Joyce is also a more proletariat, less romantic writer."


"Proust may have ushered in a Modernist era of psychological literature, may have provided a model of inspiration for Virginia Woolf to turn into stream-of-consciousness prose, and may have made inroads towards turning out generations of homosexual authors, and yet it's impossible to forget that he was a landed gentleman who could afford to shut himself up in his house and write uninterrupted for hour after hour, day after day, year after year."


"I really now know that the style of Marcel Proust is not the one I like. And I tried. This is the second book I tried to read. And still no interesting reading. I must admit that I do not like at all Proust. His twisted phrases, plain books, descriptive scenes of french high class society from the begining of 20th centuryy does not fit me."


"I just can't devour this man."


"Friends! We write in hopes of being read, and common sense ought to tell us that SOLID BLOCKS OF UNBROKEN TEXT will more often than not go unread because they are just too hard on the eyes and almost as difficult to read as words would be if they too were strung together without breaks.

Quite apart from any consideration of M. Proust, has it never occurred to his reviewers that phalanx-like SOLID BLOCKS OF UNBROKEN TEXT are too formidable in aspect and, rather than attracting potential readers, will instead serve to repel them?"

I UNDERSTAND MOST SCHOLARS OF PROUST REFER TO THESE AS "PARAGRAPHS". TO FINISH ON A HIGH NOTE FOR ONCE:

"I decided to undertake the cycle for two reasons: 1) because it's widely considered to be the greatest modern novel of all time ... 2) to discover the meaning of life. After reading over 4,300 pages, I would say I accomplished both goals."

Homer - The Odyssey

"I didn't read the glossary, if you did I recommend going on one of those widely-successful sites like eHarmony.com.
I would never have read this if my crazy teacher hadn't said, 'Please hand in your books tomorrow morning so i can grade them and return them. Yes, I blame you Mr. L. He actually seems to like this book......Elevated speech or whatever is stupid--it just wastes space. Instead of saying, 'Oh, greetings to you, Nestor the Gerenian horseman. What brings you to my fine land. Who fair thee? Is your wife well or has she left you for another lesser man?' can't we just say, 'S'up?'"


"Odysseus and his men had to go on a journey, for some odd reason"


"But then again, it's supposed to be in Greek and it was written way back when people didn't know better, so ya can't blame poor Homer."


"Accoording to what i know about Odysseus i believe that he should not be in the Hero Hall of Fame Nomination Committee. He killed innocent people , cheated on his wife, and ate his friends. I believe that says it all about who Odysseus really is."


"I do not love this book, because I think wars are not a good topic to write about"


"Homer would be best left outside the circle of his fellow Greeks Sophocles and Plato and re-establish himself as a writer for SNL or maybe Married with Children. Were Homer alive today hew would no doubt be plotting out the next Buffy the Vampire Slayer storyboard as we speak."


"The only reason I think this is a 'classic' is because it is the only book written in it's time."


"this book is totally fake and pointless. there is nothing real about this book. Homer was wrong to write it. i read it only to learn his story"


"To smart for me. Like torture, reading should be enjoyable."


"I listened to it because it's one of those things everyone should read so that everything else will fit into proper context, but really, to my sarcastic and overfilled mind, it seems to be an elaborate tale of how one should treat guests to one's home."


"I could never like such silly things."


"This was just another story written by a man to be enjoyed by other men. Gross."


"yeah, it's a classic. but it actually isnt as good as you think"


"Our society has accustomed itself to fast paced action/adventure thrillers. The Odyssey is an epic filled with more figurative language than with deeds."


"Poetry is usually so academic in its use of language. Most Poets are professors who do NOT use the English language the way most modern people do. Their use of language is wooden, stilted, with unfamiliar and odd turns of phrase, use of words, etc. which all end up bewildering the reader. I had hoped that the reviews would be right for once, however. No such luck. I couldn't even get past the first ten pages with any comprehension of what this was about... What the heck is 'hearth smoke'? What person alive says 'that nonsense coming past your teeth'? Don't most people say 'past your lips'? If this is a 'readable' translation, they must mean to someone who speaks some odd form of Olde English because this does not read like any English I ever saw. Don't get suckered into thinking this just 'races' along. It does nothing of the sort. You will need to refer to the notes every few lines just to figure out what is being said. Why it is said so oddly and with such a poor sense of colloquial English and rhythmn is beyond me."


"This book sucks. I dont care if Homer was blind or not this book is like 900 pages too long. I could tell this story in about 10 pages. Homer taking all long to say stupid stuff."


"It sucked. Their shouldn't be old people in books."


"Homer's Odyssey is one of the worst books I have ever read in my life. This book is very, very boring. Many of you who do not know me, probably think I am a teenager who can't sit still, and that I have to take some drug to keep me from tearing my house down. You are very wrong. I'm not a teenager who can't sit still, but I am a teenager who can't stand bad books!

The Odyssey is somewhat like a fantasy novel, where many of the characters have super powers, and a lot of the events that happen aren't actually possible in the real world. Now, don't get me wrong, I love many books that aren't realistic, mostly science fiction, but this book is outrageously stupid! Greek society lived in some kind of fantasy world where gods looked down on them and determined what happened in the world. As an atheist, I can't stand this kind of thinking.

In general, epic novels are horrible, especially this one. As I said at the beginning of my review, The Odyssey by Homer is one of the worst books I have ever read."


"This book is two hundred and seventy- one words. I picked up this Library book because I am in love with the story 'Troy'. It makes the movie more put together. I know how the story of Odyssey went yet it didn't concur with me about the end of it."