THE BEST OF APRIL

WALT WHITMAN - LEAVES OF GRASS

"Poetry. Nobody ever said this was. All. Poetry. I don't read poetry. I don't write poetry. I don't GET poetry. And you'd think with titles like; 'From Pent up Aching Rivers', 'Of Him I sing', and 'Oh Hymen, Oh Hymenee!'. That that's stuff I could figure out. Not so much. I did give this a good peruse, and read the author's prologue, but there's just no way I can sit around reading that stuff. All I could think about the whole time is; what kind of guy sits around writing poetry for 30 years?"


ALEKSANDR PUSHKIN - EUGENE ONEGIN

"Pushkin is a poet and for some reason he thought it would be a good idea to write an entire NOVEL in rhyme. Not his best idea."


SHAKESPEARE - JULIUS CAESAR

"The other thing I don't like is how his characters all the same in all of his plays. It's same type of character for each. Another thing I dislike about Shakespeare is that all of his plays have violence in them. Someone always dies in Shakespeare. His plays were way too much the same. He kept writing the same thing over and over again."


CHINUA ACHEBE - THINGS FALL APART

"The author tries to introduce us to a culture with likable characters and then watch it be destroyed before our eyes while continuing a vivid story but fails miserably. How miserably you ask? Let me put it this way, Avatar (a movie about a FICTIONAL CULTURE,) did a better job.
Don't get me wrong I love Avatar but I think a book based on actually historic event should do a better job making us care about the characters and evens, no?
Let me lay it out for you. The main character is a war mongering bully who is haunted by the ghost of his father. That's all.
...
I think the author was trying to write a text book on Ibo culture but sent it to the wrong publisher on accident. I am not kidding.
Though this is my opinion, I think anyone who analyzes this book will find both the story and writing style atrocious, here is a segment from the second to last chapter:

'It was open and sandy. Footpaths were open and sandy in the dry season. But when the rains came the bush grew thick on either side and closed in on the path. It was now the dry season.'

If you didn't notice the author says the same thing three time! Granted he uses different wording, but he tells us it's the dry season essentially three times! That is a huge no no in the writing world. I am an aspiring author and when I read this I quite literally wanted to rip that page out of the book and throw it at the wall. That segment right there is the WORST bit of published work I've seen in any book . If you know of something worse please comment on this with what ever is worse.
For me the only consolation in this book is when the white man finally reigns victorious. (Okay, I know that sounds racist but let me explain.)Though the did a horrid job creating the culture the fact that it's real made it real in my mind, plus I begrudgingly admit that the author did offer some small details that helped. Just the thoughts of Mr. Smith as he walked away left me with chills.
So here is my advice to you. Read the last chapter of this book but imagine the character Okonkwo as Jake Sully and Mr. Smith as the army guy from avatar. If you do that, you will receive much more from this book than anyone who's actually read it."


GOETHE - FAUST, PART ONE

"I usually dislike pieces (I prefer stories)"


JAMES JOYCE - DUBLINERS

"Call me an uncivilized peasant if you will, but I continue to despise James Joyce. I recall a college English class of mine where all the students were ducking Prof. Gatza's questions about Joyce's 'Stephen Hero,' and--when he solicited an explanation for the mysterious phenomenon--only fifteen-year-old Brucie Boy had the guts to tell him, 'Well, none of us have read the book because, frankly, it's just pitifully wretchedly dreadful.' (I suppose that's why Gatza gave me a B.)"


ERICH MARIA REMARQUE - ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT

"I think this was the gayest book I have ever read in my life!
I don't like war stories and if you are reading this Mr. Johnson I hope you know that the whole time I was reading this I complained the WHOLE time.
thank you"

"Why do I need to hear about all these dead people? ... Every time I read a chapter it just goes and puts a damper on my mood."


WILLIAM BLAKE - SONGS OF INNOCENCE AND OF EXPERIENCE

"william blake upon writing poems seems to portray black as something evil which is very much ridiculous to the black society.i know as a literature student that historically black wasnt something seen as evil but rather humility and beauty but the plaque that hit the whole world in the 15th or 14th century there about made the christian world at that time for their habit of racism name that illness 'blackdeath' diseases.it had a name but later changed to be this since then it has become an philosophical somewhat ideal to equate black to sin.'images of angel,jesus,god etc are all white but the opposite has being made to be ture in the minds of the human race hence black is relative to sin,devil(satan)and all satanic forces.i rest my comments for my book i ll write on this issue."


HERMAN MELVILLE - BARTLEBY THE SCRIVENER

"'I'd prefer not to.' ?????????? Yeah, me too, pal. Neither would the people who built the pyramids or fought in wars. Neither would Oscar Wilde, or the son on the Sopranos, or 95% of the people in jailhouse showers right now."


LEWIS CARROLL - ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

"Don't read this. Don't waste hours reading."


JOHN STUART MILL - ON LIBERTY

"(Also, this isn't a novel, it's literally about individual freedoms and how they play a role in society.)"

"Liberty means freedom from taxes, too many laws and respect for property rights not the right to welfare or necessarily to vote.
...
Of course as an agnostic he advocates that socially, individuals should be privately able to do whatever they like. Unfortunately in order for a society to be free from too many laws the people must abide by unwritten laws and that means the laws of the Abrahamic God. If a village does not want to tolerate homosexuals then they should be free not to and be able to drive them out, it's called the social contract."