THE BEST OF JANUARY

DOSTOEVSKY - THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV

"All about sex and violence and drunkeness, really boring
This book is all about some badly behaved brothers and their mean father and how they do nothing but shout and drink and threaten one another and are lewd and then, one of them anyway, goes to England, or at least he wants to. You call that a story?"


NABOKOV - LOLITA

"I, personally, do no not think that Humbert Humbert's act of giving Lolita sleeping pills is justified, but with a closer analysis, this act can be justified. Humbert Humbert gives Lolita these pills so he can molest her, and Lolita would have no knowledge of it. This can be considered a justified act because this shows that Humbert Humbert cares about the Lolita's sanity and well-being. Who knows what Lolita would think if Humbert Humbert forcefully rape her. Her behavior can show signs of insanity or she can experience unstable conditions. Humbert Humbert is looking out for her well-being by giving her the sleeping pills with the intent of raping her."


PLATO - GORGIAS

"It's been clear that human thinking has really evolved over time. Socrates was an idiot who couldn't win a gradeschool debate contest."


CATULLUS - POEMS

"this iz our dear catullus?...a renowned poet. a poet?! a poet?!!! bloody pervert if there ever was one. i can see him as a 50-year-old man, crouching over his desk at three A.M., measuring his 'thing' and writing at the same tyme, and thinking, 'heeheehee, i wrote the perd 'penis' heeeheehee' WHAT A POO-MUNCH"


SHAKESPEARE - THE MERCHANT OF VENICE

"Shakespeare's Worst Play
This is one of the worst plays ever published. I thought Shakespeare was a fool after reading this complely pointless play. Do not wase your money on this book because it is completly worthless. A total waste of time to even read any of this play."


PROUST - IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME

"Proust sucks, and so does Dtocheimsky, or however you spell it."


POPPER - THE LOGIC OF SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY

"I hate Karl Popper and falsifiability. But then I don't believe in science in general."


CERVANTES - DON QUIXOTE

"What the hell is the big deal about Don Quixote?
And not knowing that he was the master of Sancho Panza? People are shrieking everywhere, OH MY GOD!!!!! U MUST BE TEH ILLITERATEZ IF U DO NOT KNOW WHO HE IS! Jesus, get over your ego-centric westernized world views."


HEMINGWAY - IN OUR TIME

"i can't respect a writer that i had to read his books laying on my back so that when i would fall asleep it would fall on me and wake me up because he was such a boring and crappy writer"


JOYCE - ULYSSES

"Proclaiming this the greatest novel of the 20th century is arguably correct for the technical structure, language use, observation etc but that is like stating Citizen Kane as the greatest film - technically brilliant but does anyone really enjoy or even truely understand it?"