CHOICE SCRAPS FROM UNPUBLISHED POSTS PART II

CONFUCIUS - ANALECTS

"It espouses an approach that I would consider soft (don't just focus on money, etc)."


SWIFT - A MODEST PROPOSAL

"I had a hard time with the thought of suggesting that the children of the poor be used as a source of food and clothing and just couldn't finish it."


PUSHKIN - EUGENE ONEGIN

"rhymed verse detracts from enjoyment of the novel."


DARWIN - ON THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES

"still even today this books contradicts itself and it doesn't answer the most simple question,if we humanscare descending from monkeys,why and when did we became conscius ?!"

"This is just crud cause do you really believe that we came from monkeys I mean seriously. What comes after monkeys? MONKEYS! And what come after humans? HUMANS!! I'm a Christian and I believe what is true. I'm not trying to force religion on you (by the way Christianity isn't a religion it's a relationship with our one, true, living Creator) but how can you believe that we came from monkeys? Sure our skeletons look alike but that doesn't mean that we came from them! And how can Darwin ever be a Christian if he said we came from monkeys? How can monkey 'all of a suddenly' turned into humans? This is just pure crud."


SHAKESPEARE - THE TEMPEST

"The Tempest is an outdated attempt of a sci-fi story. Yes it may have been a basis for many other authors and even present day movies, but his stories are so inapplicable and painful to read that I think they should just be destroyed. Hypothetically speaking, if Adolf Hitler was alive today and were to burn all of William Shakespeare’s texts, I feel as if the modern college and high school students would praise him just for this noble act. The only version of Shakespeare I will ever spend another minute on is if film producers have taken his story and somehow made it into a bad ass movie with a similar plot line."


DE BEAUVOIR - THE SECOND SEX

"feminism has certain core beliefs that are simply crazy -- yet women listen to the philosophy anyway."


JOYCE - DUBLINERS

"the fact is just plain and simply that Irish politics and what Ireland was going through in the early 2oth century just is not important"

"Nearly all the stories are boring. Our modern sensibilities have us yelling mentally at them, or rolling our eyes."


LAO TZU - TAO TE CHING

"Not very impressed. Philosophic fumblings about a mysterious power. Makes me so grateful to have the restored gospel of Jesus Christ."


ARISTOPHANES - THE BIRDS

"this title makes you think that its a field guide to birds but if you arent familiar with the aristophanes it is just nonsense"


JUNG - THE ARCHETYPES AND THE COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS

"i think we die millions of times like we dnt wake up the same the next day evan in a moment we die an r reborn how far into non exitence is yesterday its gone like it was never ther just the ties of repocution jus the memories of our consiousness its hard 2 explain sumthing i dnt understand evan in my head and 2 express acuratly but think about time patterns and blind spots the answers right ther but im not evan sure wat the question is"

"Jung and Freud were listened to only because they managed to convince people they knew what they were talking about. Their era was so filled with ignorance and illiteracy that everyone believe them, even though most to the time they were incorrect."

"Jung was an idiot who had little understanding of the life force."


DICKENS - A TALE OF TWO CITIES

"I read A Tale of Two Cities my freshman year of high school and it drove me crazy. That following summer, I went to London on a trip and toured Westminster Abbey. Most of the tour I avoided the graves as much as possible, but once I arrived at The Poet's Corner, I spotted Dickens' grave and, well...I was jumping up and down on the grave in a post-AToTC fury. The guide was appalled until my mother explained that I had read that particular novel for class only a month prior."


MELVILLE - BILLY BUDD, SAILOR

"Melville seemed to wonder off topic a lot, writing about stuff I really didn't care about."


DANTE - THE DIVINE COMEDY

"In the dark ages it seems the whole focus was on the negative."


ORWELL - ANIMAL FARM

"Well, I really did like how the book related to World War 2, I'm a HUGE history geek when it comes to World War 2"

"Very great way to exemplify Hitler's rule"

"ANIMALS RUN A FARM 15/10 LIVES UP TO THE NAME."


TOLSTOY - ANNA KARENINA

"Six words- That Anna is one jacked-up whack-o!"

"It took every ounce of effort to get through this never-ending novel. It's difficult for me to admit that I didn't find this book captivating. After all-I'm an English major!"


GENERAL ENGLISH MAJOR BULLSHIT

"I’m definitely aware of postmodernist tenants regarding having no universal truths and the subjectivity of individual existence…"

"I'll admit it: I don't read a lot of classics. I know, 'a real reader reads the classics' and all that but I have so many books to read that it just doesn't seem like I have time for a bunch of old books."

"Using Elvis Presley and christmas songs as an example, He still makes alot of money and we never hear new christmas songs, just remakes of the old classics, because they were first. Books are the same way. Certain books remain classics because they were first and people refuse to let go and move on and create newer books, songs, and artists to replace the original."

ON THE VICTORIAN NOVEL:

"Slightly different take, from someone with 2 degrees in English.

Yes, they do suck. . .

By OUR standards. They're over-long, end with deus ex machina too much of the time, depend on astonishing coincidence and 180-degree reversal, and all sorts of other stuff we would dismiss in our entertainment today.

But they're not writing for our market. They're writing for theirs, and understanding that is what makes them interesting to study.

200 years from now, Stephen King, Thomas Harris, Jane Green, Maeve Binchy, yes even JK Rowling, will seem boring/hideous/old/dusty to everyone too. That's just how it goes."

CHOICE SCRAPS FROM UNPUBLISHED POSTS PART I

HOMER - THE ODYSSEY

"Now, obviously, The Odyssey was not nearly as good as Rick Riordan's stuff, but it was still pretty good."


SHAKESPEARE - HAMLET

"Had to read for English Honors (yes, I am in 8th grade and taking 10th grade English, GET OVER IT) it was confusing and weird, Shakespeare, how you confuse me is beyond words, I bet if Yoda read this book he could decipher it, or better yet if Yoda wrote a book I would understand it better than this.... Oh well... I couldn't really understand the plot, but hey I got an A- and passed the class so IM SO DONE WITH THIS"

"Is it bad that I'm reading the No Fear version? Sounds like a cop-out, being an English teacher and all, but I just want to sit and read the story and enjoy it over the weekend without having to 'study' every speech for ten minutes like when I teach Macbeth or R & J. Oh well, sue me."


MACHIAVELLI - THE PRINCE

"Cheat to win is a philosophy that at times delegates how I play ultimate, teach, and get through the day."

"If we consider amoral politics to be the Hunger Games, Machiavelli has written a How-To manual for winning the game, desperately hoping that a Katniss will read his book and win on behalf of his district (Italy). Ultimately, his project is as objectionable as hers."


WOOLF - A ROOM OF ONE'S OWN

"Woolf's discussion about Aphra Behn, the fictional Shakesphere's sister is excellent."


MILTON - PARADISE LOST

"We had some fantastic discussion about Satan's character in Paradise Lost during my English class. I now only have a vision of him as this emo 15-year-old wearing a black t-shirt that says 'Humans = Death' (he, of course, rotates this shirt with his 'Satan is our king' hoodie)."


JOYCE - A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN

"Very soon, the book becomes a vehicle for astonishingly long-winded discourses on various issues better dealt with in a monograph; and midway then, Portrait ceases to be a novel or even a work of fiction really; as a diehard fan of literary fiction, having admired so many non-traditional novels, I have to say that this is an ugly book, with nary a human connection or relationship of warmth ... I'm a PhD candidate in English, and I'm deeply saddened by reading this. Portrait is an insult to the scores of wonderful novels from this past century that don't get the same recognition because they are not by James Joyce. Avoid if you can help it."


FREUD - THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS

"Dreams cannot be interpreted, they're random imagery. And Freudianism most definitely doesn't qualify as science. Anyone thinking otherwise is an utter idiot. And I absolutely hate it how every second film director has to put 'Freudian symbolism' in their works. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN LEARNING THEM GODDAMMIT. If your movie cannot be understood without knowing 'Freudian symbolism' then it's garbage, period."


KAFKA - THE CASTLE

"Okay, let me get my two cents in. As a lover of surrealism, a huge Kafka fan, and above all as a writer, I can vouch for this book. Was it bland? Yes. Was it dull and repetitive and even poorly written? I'd say so. Truth is, I didn't even read beyond Chapter 3. But this isn't a bad novel. We have to remember that this is a rough draft, a sketch if you will, of a novel left on the writer's desk. Hell, the draft wasn't even finished. Of course it's going to suck! Because it is unfinished. It is not published as the writer even intended it to be. Hell, Kafka didn't even want the bulk of his writing's to be published. I decided to stop reading this because to do so is disrespectful to the author."


NIETZSCHE - BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL

"His cause is further damaged by paragraphs containing no topic sentence and no resolution. Some paragraphs ramble on so long that even if there were a topic sentence, one would be hard pressed to remember it by the end."


SUETONIUS - THE TWELVE CAESARS

"A collection of the biographies of the twelve emperors of Ancient Greece from Julius Caesar to Domitian.
I found out that not all of emperors are great leaders. One of them is Caligula, a mentally deranged man. What he did is unbelievable. If he does not like his constituent is doing he want that person to suffer like being burned or tortured. He even engage in same sex relationship which is really shocking. I never thought homosexuality existed then already."

"I find it amazing that these alleged geniuses never seem to consider that perhaps Rome fell because the Romans were idiots who no longer took responsibility for their own actions. Accountability is something that isn't a foreign concept to the academics; it's something that is an alien thought process. And when I say alien, I don't mean a passive alien like ET."


SALINGER - THE CATCHER IN THE RYE

"I should not be rating this. It is my unrelieved pride in life that I have not read this book, that I will not read this book, that I, alone, utterly condemn this book as well as its author. Nor do I, have I ever, or will ever drive a car. I am unlicensed."


MELVILLE - MOBY-DICK

"HATED IT SO MUCH. As a person with a degree in literature, I feel quite guilty about this. Maybe need to try again. It did not help when the professor asked a question during our discussion of it and no one answered, so I offered my answer. Big mistake. For some reason that brought on ridicule and eventually the statement that 'ANY answer besides mine would be correct.' Which wasn't even true and quite harsh. I'd say not so conducive to the liberal arts learning method. Given how much we were paying, I should have told him what was what. But I was not nearly assertive enough in those days."

"HOW DARE YOU TELL ME I'M WRONG? DON'T YOU KNOW MY PARENTS ARE PAYING FOR THIS EDUCATION?" ~ TERRIBLE ENGLISH MAJOR #85002


SAPPHO - POEMS/FRAGMENTS

"It’s hard to like Sappho. I know, I know, I’m being horrible. She’s an early feminist icon and she was a great poet and all of that sort of thing, but we have only one poem of hers in complete form, and the rest of the fragments have been so deeply mined by other poets that its hard to see where she’s being original. Sure, the first time someone said that moonlight was like silver that was mindblowing stuff…and it may well have been her, but her metaphors are tired now, and her work is so fragmentary that I can’t see it as more than the leftover choppings of the Romantic poets."


HAWTHORNE - THE SCARLET LETTER

"It was very hard to read. I did enjoy the idea of being ostracized for the bad you did (is that wrong of me?)"

"I had to focus immensely on every detail ... ruining the fluidity of my mind slowly absorbing all the print.

Then class discussions were always about the symbolism within, why couldn't the letter be red because that's the fabric they had? Why is there symbolism with a meteor shower? Sounds like an asteroid belt got too close and the earth pulled in some stellar rocks- that's not too out of the normal.

I think teachers ruined this book by making my mind try to see things that it saw as mere coincidences or straight facts instead of hidden meanings."

Mark Twain - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn IV

"The only bummer is that he's sort of a follower to Tom Sawyer. It's like c'mon Huckleberry, you're bigger and stronger. Step up and lead bro."


"Meh... Cloudsplitter is still better..."


"I have made it a life goal to never read this book. That's how much I loathe its existence.
The end."


"I might not recommend it to others since I disagree with Twain’s display of Huck’s rejection of God by adding to the story that he chose to 'go to hell' instead of praying to God and doing the right thing. Twain’s humorous account of incidents kept me reading, but I was overall dissatisfied with Huck’s moral standards. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn encourages rebellion and godlessness."


"Before Twain there were some great American writers, but none of them wrote fiction. No work of American literature during that time really captured what the American spirit was, so Twain wrote a book about freedom and independence. He wrote the novel during the Guilded Age, when America was getting its first taste of materialism"


"I think learning about how twain would write a book every time he started to lose profits so he could stay afloat in society kinda made me lose interest in his novels."


"This book caused me to realize I can't stand a book that is written entirely in poor grammar. I did not find this book to be the comical novel of hyperbole that my classmates did; instead, I found it utterly annoying. I will not be reading any other books by Twain anytime soon."


"I believe reading is about relaxing and not straining your mind to understand what's going on."


"Okay, I get how Mark Twain was a visionary, he was the first to write the way how people talked in real life and henceforth he forever changed the way literature was written. Now having said this, (on a personal view) l find it incredibly annoying to read words that are misspelled or grammatically incorrect. I found myself unable to get into a proper rhythm with the book because I was reading and re-reading the characters incomprehensible Southern dialect."


"Supposedly a satire, though probably pegged as such due to a general refusal of fact that Samuel Clements actually took the time to write a book about nothing."


"I am too much of a grammar freak to enjoy this book"


"Sentences such as 'You shove right in dah jist a few steps, Mars Jawge;dah's whah dey is. I's seed 'm befo'; I don't k'yre to see'em no mo'' (Twain, 110-111) might have reflected the speaking style of the time period, frankly, times have changed ... shackled by the utterly outdated writing style employed by this book. This is one book that has definitely not passed the test of time"

George Orwell - Nineteen Eighty-Four IV

"height and my sensitivity to the misuse of language more than anything else I've ever read in my life."


"This is literally one of the best books mankind will ever produce. George Orwell achieves a formidable task by creating a world that is far-fetced and simultaneously real and feesible to exist. This is way the book is relevant nowadays as much as it was back then. It rings us a bell that this dystopian world may not be as imaginery as we may think."


"the entire book quickly degenerated into soft porn."


"This book was a waste. I tried to read it before I just quit. I logged onto my laptop, clicked the link of shame and fell in love with Sparknotes. I studied the summary, devoted myself to character lists and looked at each chapter break down. And yet, all I could see was nothing but sexual meanings, double meanings that made no sense, and the glorious WTF ending that left me screaming at my laptop."


"1. It's EXTREMELY long. There are paragraphs that last for almost two pages, which really bores me because there's nothing much going on but description after description after description. Oh, I know. Imagery. While I don't mind imagery, 1984 was simply too much for me to handle.
2. Awkwardness. I don't know why an adult novel is required reading for high school students in the first place, aside from the fact we're more mature. Still, it's awkward."


"This book is terrible. I do not understand why it is always rated so high, especially now that communism has collapsed."


"I am only 143 pages in (and have had to bare the fairly unpleasant sex scenes) but the concept of totalitarian dictatorship in literature, if written well, is always fascinating. In one section, the language of newspeak is addressed. Orwell predicted a form of language that was based off of english, but substantially reduced to the point where one does not have to think about vocabulary, but can simply say words, and everyone understands. It made me think about texting lingo, with such abbreviations such as: lol, ftw, brb, ttyl. Everyone knows the meanings of these terms, one does not have to think."


"This is dated. My students could read The Hunger Games trilogy or Harry Potter and grasp some of the same concepts about totalitarian regimes."


"I like reading Science Fiction books, but not to this extent."


"It's amazing that he's British and the book was written 60 years ago, but the book still reads clearly."


"I am still puzzling as to why any educator would wish to subject a teenager to this torture. The horror of a socialist society that was involved in literally every aspect of life was shocking, thus serving its purpose. However, the in-depth detail of the totalitarian society and one man (and woman) who decide to rebel was just that: a little too in-depth. Were detailed descriptions of their sensuality all that necessary?"

Ernest Hemingway - The Old Man and the Sea III

"The only reason I can think of as to why such a dull, bland, mundane, uninteresting book is so well revered by the 'know it all's' is because they are afraid to contradict decades of praise given to what is considered one of America's finest pieces of literature. I say stop being so blinded by the majority and actually judge a book for what is really is."


"As for the characters in this book, Oh, excuse me character as to that he was quite dull and not to bright either. For instance, the Old Man is always thinking about baseball and fishing and how he thinks everyone will think he is crazy nothing else. Being very one-sided like that the Old Man makes for a bad main character. The Old Man could have been made handsome, like myself, so he didn't have to be smart. He is also very simple minded he says he was put on earth to fish and nothing else. I myself would prefer a more multi faceted person."


"Old Man and the Sea? More like, Old Man Should Have Died 100 Pages Earlier!"


"Hemmingway is overrated. He writes short sentences."


"This book was AWFUL!!! Sorry Ernest. Sometimes the truth hurts!"


"It was TOO descriptive...and I swear the old man is insane..."


"i just don't think that this analogy was written for the way things work in my head"


"Stemming from the philosophy of naturalism - depressing and thoroughly Godless."


"yo, this old guy is in a boat and takes forever to catch this fish. 120 pages later....still hasn't caught it. lame."


"What I learned from this book....the reason behind Hemingway's suicide. I would have shot myself too had I written this boring, uninspired piece."


"I could have written the book in three pages for everything that happened and was learned. For all his praise, this was a less then stellar effort."


"This dreadful book could be boiled down ever further from it's 90 page size to about a 4 page short story, even then...it probably still wouldn't be interesting to read. Oh Ernest, what a terrible book you wrote."


"Bo-ring. I gave up. And I wasn't even reading it, I was listening to it as a book on tape (ipod). And I still couldn't hang. Did I mention it was bo-ring? Because it was."


"this book is shit I mean seriously the 21st century and you'd think English teachers would evolve and move forward but No they are rooted in the past. Fuck this shit I love horror and I wasted my time reading this for nothing its fucking boring and stupid I'm no wonder the author killed him -self"


"I have never been a huge fan of hemingway. Maybe it is because he puts his characters in impossible situations, and yet he killed himself. I think that he just needed to grow up."

Ernest Hemingway - The Old Man and the Sea II

"Old man sucks!!
I hate fish this book was written about fish. This was torture to read."


"I am an avid reader and book collector. I love literature in general. I love books. I have always loved books but when I was tenth grade back in 1996 or so (I'm twenty eight now) my literature class was made to read The Old Man and the Sea ... Imagine, if you will, spending your entire teenagehood trying to tell other teeangers that books are wonderful. They take you on adventures and you meet fascinating characters who do incredible things. And then you're handed this book ... I was told that Hemingway killed himself because he knew he was developing arthritis in his hands, this seems to reflect what I suspected of his personality already, a deep-seeded insecurity, self-consciousness and doubt of self-worth that he thought that he was of no worth to the world if his hands didn't function properly"


"A joke. That's what I think about The Old Man and the Sea getting a Pulitzer Prize. I can not comprehend what the Pulitzer Committee was thinking when they gave this book a prize. The Old Man and the Sea is a redundant book full of hum drum that is not worth 127 pages of anyone's time. This book did not deserve a Pulitzer Prize for the book lacked excitement and plot. For example, Santiago does a ton of work and does not succeed. The Climax of this book is a major let down which makes the reader regret reading it in the first place. Since the climax is poor that also forces the plot of the story to go downhill. Another example is that this book was written at a low reading level. This is a big part of why I can't see why this book got one of the highest awards in history. Sure the book probably got the prize for the theme or the symbolizing the author put in it, but these are not very strong in my opinion. Any younger kid could have written a book like this. The Old Man and the Sea is not worthy of its award ... All in all, The Old Man and the Sea is a redundant book full of hum drum that is not worth 127 pages of anyone's time."


"The Old Man and the Sea is a bad book to read due to being a dull-as-dirt book begging for compliments."


"The author does not clearly explain mandatory parts in the book that are truly needed to make the book a success ... This book should not be read by anyone. This truly shows Hemmingway's weakness as a writer. The protagonist does not prove to have any common sense at all and he may be going insane. This book proved to be an overall failure because it did not add up to my expectations as a reader."


"'The Old Man and the Sea' should be changed to 'The Old Man and the Snore.'"


"The Old Man and the Sea is unclear in the writing. For example, 'Bad luck to your mother' is just one of the fragments Ernest Hemingway uses. Fragments leave the reader with an incomplete thought. An author should know not to use fragments in their writing. Authors should also know not to use unfamiliar words. For instance, Hemingway uses the Spanish word 'Galanas'. He doesn't give a definition or any clue of what the word might mean. A well written book shouldn't use undefined or unusual words."


"This book was so, so boring. First of all, why didn't they just summarize those three days with a couple of pages. Instead, I was forced to read an endless amount of pages that seemed to get longer about him catching and losing his prize fish/trophy. What's the point? He was already poor, and now he's lost one of the most important things to happen to him. It was a lost phenomenon."


"I asked my classmates when I was in school to select the Hobbit as a reading assignment instead, but they insisted on The Old Man and the Sea because it was a few pages shorter and they were just a lazy bunch of semi-literates."


"The grammar is supposed to be 'cutting edge' and 'of powerful simplicity,' but it's really just incorrect. Call me a stickler, but in the end it's plain annoying."


"For most, the story seems uneventful and boring. It may only appeal to those who are either def or blind. Anyone with a normal sense of sight or sound will find this story to be extremely boring and tiring ... The Old Man and the Sea, only appeals to the def and the blind. Those of us with full or partial use of our ears and eyes can plainly sense that this story is uneventful. I especially was bored with the story. It was not an interesting topic. The only people who would be interested in the story are old fishermen. The poor children who are forced into reading this will find it unappealing. The story wasn't filled with action. Even someone who is into the topic will find the story too boring. The interesting events are too few and far between. Someone who has perfect vision or perfect hearing will still find this story boring and uneventful.
In conclusion, The Old Man and the Sea is a boring worthless peace of nothing. Only the def and the blind consider it literature."

Ernest Hemingway - The Old Man and the Sea

"Santiago is the man I want to just be near... all the time."


"Oh, my good lord in heaven. Cut your line, land your boat and go to McDonald's!"


"I have made many sacrifices as a mother but none so great as slogging through this book"


"The whole book was about this old *insert unsavory word*, who refused to cut the line and was deteremined to catch a fist. The whole damn time. And when he finally gets close to shore the *insert unsavory word* fish gets devoured by sharks. REALLY? Did that really just happen?"


"Hemingway won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 1953 for the The Old Man and the Sea, and the Nobel committee in 1954 cited it as contributing to his winning the Nobel Prize in Literature award as well. I have to wonder why; I think they must have known he was ill and wanted to be nice."


"Apparently I am a huge fan of chapters. I never realized before how much joy I feel when I finish one chapter and start another; the convenience stopping at the end of a chapter before going to bed; the helpfulness of potty breaks while reading. Needless to say, this book did not have any of those things as Hemingway thought he was too good for chapters."


"The Old Man and the Sea. Why waste 127 pages instead of saying, 'and old man is a terrible fisher.'"


"What did it achieve in the end? He's an old man who's obviously fucking crazy if he wants to let a fish lead him out to sea for days. And in the end most of the fish is eaten by the shark anyway!
Well done! Props to you gramps for going missing for days and bringing back a mutilated fish that nobody would want anyway!"


"I get it, it's supposed to be allegorical, and some great literature, but the thing about a lot of classics is that I find them to be incredibly boring. Maybe because I'm a 21st century person."


"lame excuse for his terrible writing that people seem to buy, without realizing the guy was just trying to come up with a concept to attempt to pass off his lack of skill as art"


"This book is a despicable creation ... Call me a sick person if you will, but I became pleased when the fish became destroyed; I had developed a strong disliking towards the old man because of the monstrosity of writing craft Hemingway uses, so I became close to jubilant when his dreams were eaten up along with the fish ... Overall, I loathed this book with much of my spirit."


"I read this book back in high school, and I thought it was utter crap. I was reading high fantasy, and I was just so used to the complex story telling and deep visuals that when I read this book, it felt hollow and empty. I didn't think anything could be written any worse."


"Don't even bother thinking about reading it. You will have lost tons of brain cells by the end of the book. That's why so many people say they like it, they don't know better."


"Way to ruin books, Hemingway."

THE BEST OF SEPTEMBER

ARISTOTLE - METAPHYSICS

"If I'd lived with Plato for a solid 20 years, would (even) I have written something better than the Metaphysics? I believe so, yes."


SHELLEY - FRANKENSTEIN

"If 'Frankenstein' was a fanfic, it would be flamed into oblivion."

"It gets too melodramatic, like worse than the lives of the populars at my school"

"We're 21st century teens. 19th century is a bit old and boring for us."


GRETTIR'S SAGA

"it's history and it's before there were descriptions"


PLATO - MENO

"In the course of fulfilling my duties as a teaching assistant, I’ve had the mixed blessing of reading and reflecting on Plato for two consecutive quarters these past few months. I say mixed because while this has afforded me an opportunity to understand Plato’s thought in more richly textured detail, it has served mostly to reinforce the position I already held on that most beloved of philosophers – which is, simply, that Plato blows ... Plato was not merely a douchebag, but a douchebag who gave us a really shitty philosophical tradition that contributed to an ongoing 2,000 year plus tradition of stupidity. Why he is routinely credited even within atheist circles as being some kind of super awesome rationalist thinker is beyond me; this guy helped cement many of the assumptions and traditions we are most opposed to."


NABOKOV - LOLITA

"There is mention of doodles in it. Be warned."


TOLSTOY - WAR AND PEACE

"One of the previous reviews comments on Tolstoy's philosophical and sociological views, none of which seem to be conveyed to any extent in this longwinded attempt at storytelling. Periods of poorly described bouts of war and meaningless efforts to describe and accurately portray the interactions within the unrealistic social circles make this so-called 'classic' more like a soap opera than a work of literary genius. The inadequate manner in which the occurances in the book are described are discouraging to educated intellectuals like myself."

"To Tolstoy, the future is predestined by the present and past. He lived in the era before the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, wherein we only proclaim one set of events to have a higher probability than another, rather than a certainty. This uncertainty concept is foreign to the philosophy Tolstoy proclaimed here, and certainly limits the value of the book to current day thinking."


JOYCE - ULYSSES

"This is utter crap, but then Joyce intended his work to be unreadable. People whom like Ulysses probably pride themselves on reading things that they've never actually opened - that said, I found myself foundering in Ulysses, Joyce's insane farce of literature, because it's garbage."



P.S. BAD REVIEWS OF GOOD BOOKS IS COMING TO AN END IN A FEW WEEKS, BUT YOU CAN STILL CATCH ME WHINING ABOUT STUFF AT THIS NEW THING I'M DOING.

James Joyce - Ulysses VII

"This book would be a signature piece of the 20 century, post-modern literature, ranking high up there with Kafka and Proust."


"I read only the first two pages, this told me everything I needed to know about this puffed up trainwreck of a book. It frightens me that anyone could sit down with this book, waste hours of their life on it and THEN recommend it to another person! Joyce exhibits none of the traits of our truly great authors. Where a skilled writer will agonise for days to find the best word for the job, Joyce settles for the most obscure. In place of good storytelling and interesting, fleshed out characters, we get the most absurd caricatures of intellectual men imaginable. I am NOT an English student but a physics phd and can see this book for the rot it is. Do not waste so much as a moment of your life on this rubbish."


"Not even going to attempt to finish this one; very little happened, and even less of it made sense.
Yes, you're edgy, you're cultured, I get it. Just write a proper book."


"This book is un-comprehensible by humans."


"This is utter crap, but then Joyce intended his work to be unreadable. People whom like Ulysses probably pride themselves on reading things that they've never actually opened - that said, I found myself foundering in Ulysses, Joyce's insane farce of literature, because it's garbage."


"It galls me every time I see a list of the great 20th century novels and this piece of claptrap is on the top. The emperor has no clothes!"


"Ulysses reminds me of The Waste Land by T S Eliot ... One of the tutors explained to me, when we were setting up the exhibition at the end of the final semester, that T S Eliot was interesting because he sort of wrote The Waste Land as confusing as he could and somehow James Joyce was in on it too, in some great, mysterious modernist conspiracy. I didn't entirely pay attention ... The point still stands: empirically, the failings I find in Ulysses are the failings I find in The Waste Land; the obscure references, the anti-theism (which is based on the 'christians I've met are fools so god mustn't exist' logic you see mainly on Facebook nowadays), the confusing wording, and the whole starving artists angle, however, are things I've enjoyed in other books. So, empirically speaking, I have to say, the only factor left is whether it's well written. It can't be. That's the difference. The almost stubbornly clumsy jury rigging of the writer's vocabulary comes off like Richard Dawkins sitting backwards on a chair and high-fiving his friends. It makes my brow bunch up and my hand squeeze my tear ducts... it makes me cringe, in short. Ulysses makes me cringe. You can write that on my epitaph, I don't give a shit."


"Supposedly this is modernism at its best. For me this was one of the most boring and worst written books I have ever read. You can call it a 'stream of consciousness' but if so, this consciousness is that of a dull, unimaginative and perhaps slightly depraved (or just shockingly honest) man. Seriously, people may talk about this, but it’s just not worth your trouble to read. It’s massively long and boring. Unfortunately you can’t just read extracts either. Joyce embraces loads of different styles. At one point the book turns into a play (occurring in one of the main character’s drunken head). Quite early on the prose becomes very shorthand – what we might call informal and 'note-taking' language. If English isn’t your native language you might not be able to understand this at all. At times he borrows dense scientific, or medieval English or Irish styles too. I suppose it is a 'groundbreaking piece of literature' but if it was an experiment into different styles it utterly failed. Most of the styles are really hard to read and unsatisfying. There is a reason for the conventions of writing, and although some of them are pointless and arbitrary I don’t think that’s reason enough to abandon them all. Overall I feel that Joyce cheapens the greatest traditions of literature and science by using them to describe the banal and ugly in life. The reason he revolutionised literature is because he has no sense of the beauty of what he has ruined."


"I'm sorry, but I'm a pretty smart guy and a fairly accomplished reader. But I couldn't make heads or tails of this. It's undecipherable garbage ... I don't know why you'd want to bother trying. Leave this one in the dustbin of history folks"


DEAR READERS: BAD REVIEWS OF GOOD BOOKS IS APPROACHING ITS FIVE HUNDREDTH POST, AND WITH THAT POST THE BLOG WILL BE COMING TO AN END. BUT I HAVE A NEW, HOPEFULLY MORE CONSTRUCTIVE PROJECT BREWING, AND YOU'RE ALL INVITED! I'M NOT EVEN USING A SECRET IDENTITY THIS TIME. IF YOU LIKE LEARNING THINGS OR TEACHING THINGS THEN I'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU ALONG.

Martin Luther - 95 Theses

"Not bad. It is just nothing special."


"It's a shame that a document which seems to have had such good intentions could be the start of something so ugly, so brutal as the long slide into relativism in the greatest civilization of all, the West."


"It was rather humorous listening to my mom talk about how great Luther was and then I was able to rub her nose in his own words. Of course my mom is such an idiot"


"You Are All Sheep and Martin Luther is an Idiot
The title to a book I'll be writing and publishing. Sit and ponder."

Tolstoy - War and Peace III

"What a load of rubbish"


"This book is what we had before soapies!"


"TERRIBLE. HORRIBLE. BORING. LONGER THAN THE BIBLE."


"Quite possibly the most over-rated 'classic' novel ever. Half of it isn't even a novel, but a history account of Napoleon's invasion of Russia in 1812."


"I believe if I read this book in my twenties, I would have appreciated it., but I have read so many wonderful well-written stories that I was not impressed."


"To be honest, I don't have any letters after my name in relation to literature but I'm a writer and reader myself and I know what I like. This novel is arguably one of the most overrated novels in the history of the written word. It is tedious from beginning to end. Tolstoy rambles on without any sense of real structure developing. It is incomprehensible that it is so beloved to millions of people, most of whom just read it so they can say 'I read War and Peace' to their friends who (wisely) have chosen not to sacrifice three or four months of their lives to study this mess."


"Ever read through a page only to realize that you were daydreaming the whole time and don't quite remember what you read. That happened to me through most of this book. That happens with most books"


"One of the previous reviews comments on Tolstoy's philosophical and sociological views, none of which seem to be conveyed to any extent in this longwinded attempt at storytelling. Periods of poorly described bouts of war and meaningless efforts to describe and accurately portray the interactions within the unrealistic social circles make this so-called 'classic' more like a soap opera than a work of literary genius. The inadequate manner in which the occurances in the book are described are discouraging to educated intellectuals like myself."


"Exceedingly dull with only a few interesting characters who will probably come to irritate you."


"It just didn’t know what it wanted to be. It ended up being so dull and boring and absolutely ridiculous."


"Having read the reviews of others, it reminds me of the emperor's new clothes. Reviewers should be true to the subject matter not state what they believe others expect. Sometimes a Mills and Boons story is just that."


"Honestly, I can't understand why it is considered literature: the characters have no depths and their behaviours, feelings are so similar that it made me think a few of them were the same person."


"The writer sort of sucks and is a hard read. His characters are sort of flaky and disjointed if you want my opinion. I don' see what the big deal is... Tolstoy is just plain verbous!!"


"Typically Russian, in 'why use one sentence when 20 pages will do.' Possibly the most verbose book I have ever read"


"To Tolstoy, the future is predestined by the present and past. He lived in the era before the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, wherein we only proclaim one set of events to have a higher probability than another, rather than a certainty. This uncertainty concept is foreign to the philosophy Tolstoy proclaimed here, and certainly limits the value of the book to current day thinking."

Vladimir Nabokov - Lolita VII

"There is mention of doodles in it. Be warned."


"How does one make a book about pedophilia boring???"


"maybe i'm not open minded enough but felt I was stuck in the mind of a pedophile"


"my ability to condone paedophilia had been varnished with today's hysteria, much as I would have preferred it not to."


"why we should care about either Humbert Squared or Lo--both are sniveling, self-absorbed and a bit hard to root for"

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT A KIDNAPPED AND RAPED CHILD OF TWELVE? SHE'S SO SNIVELLY. ALSO THE PEDOPHILE IS HARD TO ROOT FOR


"The book was also confusing because of all the different names Humbert Humbert uses for people. The main female was called numerous things like, Lolita, Lo, Dolly, Dolores, and a few other names that were only used once or twice."


"stupid stupid book, or at least my copy was. the narrator couldn't decide on a name for himself or the little girl."


"It's views on what love is. Was twisted and sick."


"this book is equivalent to reading freudian theoretical papers - that put the most active minds to sleep! i previously read that this book is risqué and cutting-edge, all i found was boring, obsessive treatise/memoirs of a middle-aged man"


"What is truly 'conquering the Nature'?We human have been the dominant for a long time,but some of us still cannot control our sexual desires,power ambitions and obsessions with money.If we want to really conquer the Nature,the only thing we need to do is to control ourselves.Humbert failed,so he had no power over himself and became a criminal in the end.Love is,as a matter of fact,not so complicated as people think.Personally I think love shouldn't be like Humbert's ... Humbert is of little difference from an animal,since they both don't understand what life really is.They eat,drink,sleep,couple,and die.As for Lolita,she's no better than Humbert.
And that's the saddest part of the story."


"This is the most self indulgent book I have ever read, clearly the author wasn't interested in engaging his readers. It was tedious, repetitive and mostly boring. I can't believe I got this from a top 100 Books list. It's not the subject matter that turns me off, it is how the story is woven between absolute rambles of irrelevant tripe! My advice, give this one the flick!"


"I'm not going to waste my breath on the die hard lemmings. But, for those of you who have seen beyond the 'Matrix' I'm with you, this book is wrong ... Remember that the prevention is always better than the cure, yet the forward to Lolita call a "serious reader" as one who can retain innocence while being forced to fill in the blank w/ lusty imaginings, lest the context of the book be lost to the simple minded; the forward claims Lolita as a useful work to be studied in academic circles relating to psychiatry, and as a useful guide for society to take a lesson from; IT'S NOT TRUE - the book is subversive drivel and all these people hawking their dainty paltry brand of literati enlightenment are suckers.

Books to read: Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead
...
LEAVE THE 'CHILDREN OF THE DARK' TO THEIR VANITIES..."

Plato - Meno

"I am not a philosophy fan. I feel after finishing this book that i still have the same questions, what is virtue? Can virtue be taught? Are there teachers of virtue? Why do philosophers talk in circles? Why is geometry used to prove virtue? Ew, i hope the discussons at work dont suck as much as this book...."

THERE WILL BE "DISCUSSIONS AT WORK" BECAUSE THIS REVIEWER IS A TEACHER OF HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS


"After being raised by the Socratic method, I now understand its roots better. However, that doesn't make reading this as a book enjoyable at all."


"In the course of fulfilling my duties as a teaching assistant, I’ve had the mixed blessing of reading and reflecting on Plato for two consecutive quarters these past few months. I say mixed because while this has afforded me an opportunity to understand Plato’s thought in more richly textured detail, it has served mostly to reinforce the position I already held on that most beloved of philosophers – which is, simply, that Plato blows ... I have not mentioned how incredibly annoying and condescending the Socratic method is, or how absurd and problematic Plato’s ridiculous craft analogies are, or how unpleasant I find the literary style of pretty much all ancient Greek literature, or how I find aspects of Plato which others describe to be 'profound' to be totally banal, simplistic, and as imaginative as the speculations of someone stoned out of their minds ('we all have like, three parts to our soul dude and like, they are always struggling for dominance and one is like, a lion and the other, a medusa, with all these snakes coming out of its head and shit') – because all of this is far more subjective and not to the point: which is that Plato was not merely a douchebag, but a douchebag who gave us a really shitty philosophical tradition that contributed to an ongoing 2,000 year plus tradition of stupidity. Why he is routinely credited even within atheist circles as being some kind of super awesome rationalist thinker is beyond me; this guy helped cement many of the assumptions and traditions we are most opposed to."


"Plato stinks (academic babbler). Read something real for a change."


"To the translator: Kudos! (However he would translate that into ancient Greek!)"

The Saga of Grettir the Strong

"Overall, I was underwhelmed. The stories are not really written for a modern audience"


"As with any icelandic sagas, the style must be tolerated which includes a story that is not plot-driven"


"incredibly boring."


"I have to say the narrative style killed my interest. I know it's history and it's before there were descriptions."

Mary Shelley - Frankenstein IV

"This is truly one of those books that the films do justice to."


"It's been almost 30 years since I've detested a book this much. I didn't think anything could be worse then Kafka's 'The Metamorphosis'. Seems I'm never too old to be wrong."


"By the last half of the book, I was so fed up with her lack of vocabulary that I just could not stand to read it anymore."


"I thought it would be cool to finally know how the monster really came to life, but I didn't even get that much out of the book. It doesn't say how it was created, or even what happened to him after he left.

If you've ever read the book you know that long 50 page story of when the monster was stocking those people in the cottage. Instead of that how about this. After scaring a man out of his home, the monster finds a hole in the wall, looks through it and sees people. He watches them 24 7 while he learns more words, gets more food, and evidently, learns how to read. After so long he decides to meet and actually talk to them, but does it the wrong way so they beat him up and throw him out. Then he runs away ashamed of himself. Wow, that was so hard.

The book would be great with a little work. Okay, lots of work. But, you can't save them all."


"I have to add this to the top of the list of books that I have had to read but HATED! Let's see it was up there with Call of the Wild, The Odyssey, Farenheit 451, The King Must Die, True Grit, When the Legends Die, etc...I think you get my point. It is as if the teachers and district pick the worst possible books."


"In essence, Frankenstein is certainly credible for its depth, but anyone can be a philosopher. Unfortuantely, literature is an art, and, therefore it takes a talented author to create a reabable and enjoyable vehicle for such insight. If you can't read a book, it's not good."


"The big monster with bolts sticking out of his neck, little vocabulary, frightening everybody in his path. He is brought to life in a spooky laboratory with lightning flashing and the mad scientist hovering over him with the joy of accomplishment. This is what we think of when we hear the name Frankenstein. I would like to tell you the book was this exiting, but I can't ... I would not recommend this book to anyone under the age of 40. It's pace is way too slow for the modern worlds fast pace and it leaves you wondering, 'Why didn't I just watch the movie'."


"Great god! This novel is written so poorly, ssslllooowww, plodding, dry, dragging, flowery chapters. For those of you who are searching for a novel rich in literary content, bristling with metaphor and imagery, and full of gripping suspense, you've come to the WRONG place. This novel possesses none of these. Take it from me, a seasoned man of literature."


"I was once subjected to hearing a giggling women wax lyrical about this book"


"In short, Mary Shelley is a silly girl. I had to read this novel for class. If I didn't I wouldn't have been bothered to pick it back up after throwing it across the room innumerable times."


"Great premise, appallingly written. Shelley has an 18 year old girl's romantic perception of the world - which puts an 18 year old (19th Century) girl's words into the mouths of mature males. It just does not work."


"This is the most boring book i have ever read. I never actually finished it because there are are so many long words that by time you've stopped to look each one up in the dictionary you've forgotten what hapened at the beginning of the sentence.To sum this up in one word: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"


"Mary W. Shelley can go suck Frankenstein's dick!!!"

Mary Shelley - Frankenstein III

"it was SO not a romance."


"It's obvious that Victor Frankenstein was gay and created the monster to be his gay lover."


"The reason it has a 1 star rating because for one I just thought the book suckes some serous A** ... beside I never really read all of it but I had a friend on here tell what happened after I stopped reading it and it sounded stupid any ways so I'm glade I didn't waste my time reading the rest of it."


"I had to read this book for English and I must ask, WHY ON EARTH ARE ENGLISH TEACHERS STILL MAKING US READ FICTION FROM LIKE THE 1780's????????????????????????????????? GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


"UMMM CAN WE SAY 'SUCKY' ?"


"The style of writing is interesting and I could see it would have created a stir in its time, but times have moved on."


"I wanted to read about the ongoing conflict between master-and-creation, to understand how one could turn against its own creation. Surprisingly, the author doesn't dig into that."


"When i bought it i tought i was buying a 'fully sized' book, but when it arrived i ordered a 'pocket edition', the book seems to be good, but this special book its for ladies(with the due respect)."


"The description stated it was illustrated and the only illustration is on the cover of the book. I'm reading this book with my senior English students and was hoping I could show them some interesting illustrations."


"Yeah, if you throw enough brickbats at a person, eventually they might retaliate. Big surprise. So, in Shelly's distorted world view, one's throwing the brickbats at creatures whose only sin is ugliness, isn't depraved, but if the receiver of the undeserved brickbats retaliates in any way, then that retaliation confirms depravity? Clearly, Shelly had a very undeveloped mind."


"Perhaps back in 18-something it may have been scary but by modern literary standards I'm afraid to say that Frankenstein is gibberish."


"There is no horror to this story at all...It is about a living creature, shunned by society who eventually goes on the rampage. Gee, like that hasn't happened before. The story was generic, even for it's time. I think Mary was desperate, considering that the book wasn't even liked in the first place by the original romanticists authors of that time."


"I don't want to insult or offend Mary Shelley but she could've had 'brainstormed' a bit more...."


"the creature starts out knowing no english. all the sudden he knows big words that english scholars can't even understand. this book puts the 'BAD' in 'horrible'."


"one second, Frankenstein (the creator of the monster) is studying chemistry at a university, the next thing we know, he has the ability to "bestow life on an inatimate object!" Where did that come from? Can we be any more random?"


"This book was a torture for me. I mean adults might like it but as a highschooler, NOOOO!! I mean it's not just me a lot of my friends thought that it was a horrible book. Though you can't blame us. We're 21st century teens. 19th century is a bit old and boring for us."

Mary Shelley - Frankenstein II

"If 'Frankenstein' was a fanfic, it would be flamed into oblivion."


"You may think that I am crazy for giving a classic 1 star. I mean, it's a classic for a reason right? That, my friend, is where you are extremely wrong. I am crazy, but not for that reason. My reasoning is very logical and if you are a teen who has read this you will understand why."


"It gets too melodramatic, like worse than the lives of the populars at my school"


"All of Shelley's sentences were TOO complex."


"All in the oldest persons words. Silly!"


"The problem of the book feels like it was written in a different time and place. When's the last time you wrote more than a few pages to a friend? When have you waxed philosophically about... anything?"


"Perhaps it's because the author is a woman. I will admit to enjoying a male voice more than a female voice, especially for science fiction."


"Do not read the book. Do NOT read the book. The moment you crack it open, the pages will violently diarrhea all over your face."


"It was a work of silly science fiction and little more. It wasn't very scientific, and by that I mean at all, and it marginally explored the ideas of creation of life. If it had relentlessly and interestingly pursued life and death and creation and all of those great big themes, I probably would have liked it, but it was a bit more interested in chasing the ideas of lords and ladies and having a monster who for some reason spoke in rather eloquent and almost Shakespearean verse"


"So what is there not to like? The contradictory narrative for one thing; one moment the monster is misunderstood and something to be pitied, the next he is a violent vindictive murderer. Then there is the fact that the monster uses words longer than the name of his creator, even though he has learned to speak from an eight year old."


"My biggest complaint is that this 300-some page story could have been told in about ten."


"I read this in one of my English classes in college. I was an English major for 3 years until I read this book and I hated it. I switched majors and schools because of this book."


"Complicated. I think it went off based off of what you thought about different things. You could probably think differently about it if you were the opposite sex."


"To be frank about Frankenstein, it is truly awful.
The monster cannot get a girlfriend so he kills his creators family.
There is more to life than finding a partner and considering that Shelley's mother was a feminist she would maybe realise this, or then again, seeing as the woman was a husband snatcher, perhaps not."


"My disapproval of the way Ms. Shelley conducted her life may have colored my willingness to give her a break in they way she wrote her novel."


"This book sucked because I didn't understand any word of it. Like seriously Mary Shelly, no need to be rude, but make it more understanding!!! TEAM PEETA AND TEAM GALE AND TEAM FINNICK!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mary Shelley - Frankenstein

"Legendary science-fiction and science fact author Dr. Isaac Asimov often wrote that Mary Wollenstonecraft Shelley's 'Frankenstein' (1818) was one of the most influential books of science fiction written. The equally legendary horror and fantasy author Stephen King also urges his readers to read 'Frankenstein' in order to get a good grounding for how to write.

Why? I have no idea. If any writer today turned in a manuscript like this, they'd gather enough rejection slips to paper the walls with.

But if you are looking to read a science fiction book, horror book or even a good book, then pass it by. This is one book that breaks the usual rule of being better than the movie adaptation. Skip this book and watch Mel Brooks' 'Young Frankenstein' (1974) instead. Granted, 'Frankenstein' was groundbreaking in its day ... However, modern readers will be sorely disappointed with 'Frankenstein.' This reviewer couldn't tolerate reading the whole thing (my life is too short to be spent reading bad books) and skimmed the last fourth of the novel. Not that I didn't know what was going to happen, anyway."


"After the upteenth tremble/jerk/gasp/faint/start from our mad scientist Victor Frankenstein, I could only sign in relief that he wasn't a Rabbi about to perform a bris circumcism - oy vey!"


"Warning!: Buttload of sarcasm incoming!!!

Oh yes, that's just brilliant...Let's tell the story in a second-hand past tense. That'll get us right into the action! And I love how this second-hand story-teller is able to relate in very fine detail dialogue exchanges between the monster and people he met years ago via a third person account from the dying Dr. Frankenstein. I mean honestly, what were you thinking Mary?!"


"he only description of the monster you ever get is that it is so ugly that words cannot describe it. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF DESCRIPTION IS THAT?????"


"In most cases the book is more enjoyable than the movie. However, in this case I much rather preferred the many movie versions versus the book. This book had so many big words and confusing sentence structure that I couldn't enjoy it."


"Shelley is not only a terrible author, she is also an ignorant and prejudiced one. Her novel, hailed as a classic for two centuries, is infantile dross and lacks any imagination or creativity. Mary Shelley was the Stephanie Meyer of her generation, and her novel should be shelved with the chic-lit vampire romances and other such fare read avidly by teenage girls."


"The whole concept Mary Shelley was talking about also, that too much science is bad, was completely stupid. I found, through this book, that my opinion of the romantic era has been reduced to almost zilch. It appears to me that the romantics were a bunch of hippies who believed in strolling around breathing [not that I don't enjoy that] and letting themselves die because they wouldn't take medicine, believing that the science that discovered it was unnatural and unhealthy."


"This book added absolutely zero to my intelletual inner landscape."


"This is a story that we ALL know by heart. We've seen it time and time again in movie after movie. Yet, if you read the book all those details that make Frankenstein, well, Frankenstein, are not there. No dark castle on the top of a hill. Dr. Frankenstein is not a crazed old man, but a university student (whaaaaat?!?!). The coolest part where Dr. Frankenstein goes around to grave sites and morgues collecting pieces for the monster...not even mentioned!!!"


"I thought that Frankenstein was a mad scientist who lived in a castle. A man who loved his monster and shouted out "It's alive" when it opened it's eyes. Where was Egor? And I thought it was the villagers that wanted the monster dead and broke into the castle with fire and pitchforks to try and kill him.
None of this happened ... It's worth avoiding this and just sticking to what you thought the story of Frankenstein was..."

Aristotle - Metaphysics

"it is best left In the past as its views are too false for the future."


"i dislike all the classics. that goes for aristotle."


"This is kind of like if you need to brush up on your Calculus and you start by going all the way back to multipication tables."


"If I'd lived with Plato for a solid 20 years, would (even) I have written something better than the Metaphysics? I believe so, yes."


"Maybe Aristotle wasn't interested in philosophy
I am not particularly fond of this book. If undergraduate college courses are meant to provide students with general outlook on likely events, and graduate schools at major universities are intended to select those students who want to qualify for cutting edge work in a highly specialized professional discipline, the works of Aristotle seem to be the high point of a Greek attempt to create an upper level above anything that had previously been considered possible. Alexander the Great, as a student of Aristotle, might be faulted for aspiring to far more than what could be useful, just as Heidegger seemed to be pushing for a German spirit that was sure to damn the rest of the world to misery when he assumed a place in the leadership of a German university backing Hitler and the Nazi party.
...
It is far more ancient than modern. It is not clear how infinite his 'triangle containing two right angles' (p. 112) is supposed to be. Even his attempts to tiptoe around the major stereotypes of ancient bookworms seem limp. 'For instance, it is neither always nor for the most part that someone pale has a refined education, but since it sometimes happens, it will be incidental (or if not, everything would be by necessity).' (p. 113).

The Index only mentions three pages in Aristotle's text for Socrates, though Aristotle often uses his name as an example ... Two generations of seeking lessons from Socrates, ignoring whatever meaning the hemlock had, took place before we find Aristotle finally admitting 'For there are two things one might justly credit Socrates with, arguments by example and universal definition,' (p. 260). A real philosopher ought to do better than that."

THE BEST OF AUGUST

DOSTOEVSKY - CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

"I really don't care about a bunch of Russians view on politics and right and wrong because I see all of their views as incorrect to the foundations of our society."


GREENE - THE QUIET AMERICAN

"I understand that criticism of America's mistakes during the Vietnam war is deserved. We made many sad mistakes. But I don't like Americans being criticized for their idealism, their innocence, virtue, or dedication to the spread of democracy ... I believe that though Americans have made many mistakes, America is still the best neighbor of any country on the planet. America's strength keeps many tyrants at bay."


DESCARTES - MEDITATIONS

"I've been rereading this while rereading LOTR, and I cannot help hearing Descartes as Morgoth, Sauron, Saruman, or any number of other characters who look at reality as something to be conquered and bent to one's will."


SHAKESPEARE - MACBETH

"One of the most horrible books I have had the pleasure to read.

I mean, this is the crap that makes people my age despise reading. People need to learn yesterday's classics can't even match the crappy teen books of today.

Get me some work from Shakespeare that is at least Dean Koontz level, then get back to me when he gets a character at least even with Koontz's Vess."


"it's just not portayed well at all. Im pretty sure it took Macbeth two pages to stab Duncan. I'm an ameteur writer myself and when someone in my book gets stabbed, it takes about this much space:'I Stabbed him.' It's not that hard!"


HELLER - CATCH-22

"Heck, I even contemplated putting up a sign where the book is displayed in the bookstore, saying 'DON'T BUY THIS BOOK' were it not for my law-abiding morally-right sensitivities."


MORRISON - SULA

"Primarily, I think it is a ronchy story which I don't care for - even if it does portray a certain culture and way of life. It (the ronchy way of living) shouldn't exist any more and the characters habits and ways of living should be tamed ... the way these African-Americans people live is atrocious and appalling. I can't believe that people live like this. If this is close to realistic then we've got a problem with society. We should all be worried with people living like animals."


ACHEBE - THINGS FALL APART

"The climax seemed to be the author taking out his personal dislike of white people and Christians, which, as a white Christian, I didn't appreciate. I'm tired of hearing about how horrible white people are all the time. If we were a society that was truly about promoting equality, we would stop constantly slamming the whites."


FITZGERALD - THE GREAT GATSBY

"It's a shame this book is 'required reading' for all freshmen at the high school where I teach. No wonder the vast majority of my students believe they 'hate to read.' Though thoughtfully written, I could not connect with the author, relate to the characters, or appreciate the content as a 35 year old, and compared to a 14 year old American teenager, I have many more life experiences, much more background knowledge, and college level history classes under my belt to help me connect or even enjoy this novel.

So many of my students are not reading on grade level, and this text is what we are assigning them to read? What a horrible advertisement for reading and English classes in general. I had to force myself through the last 10 pages and I don't feel better educated or smarter for having done so. My poor students!"


NORTHROP FRYE - ANATOMY OF CRITICISM

"Frye was a man second rate at best who bluffed the gullible with obscure complexities. For a man who never wrote a memorable poem, or a novel, or a play, it is a wonder he could ever in a logical world be seen as an expert in literature. QED."


THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH

"all of the things that happen are impossible. there is no way that they actually saw gods. personally, i didnt like this book"

The Epic of Gilgamesh III

"If it were my type of book then I may have liked it."


"This epic poem is certainly exaggerated"


"all of the things that happen are impossible. there is no way that they actually saw gods. personally, i didnt like this book"


"LOVE GREEK MYTHOLOGY"


"written in very old style English."


"It felt like I was reading the world's first soap opera script ... Warning: the behavior of most characters is pretty skanky."


"I wish I could give this book 0 stars. I don't really know what the point of printing this book was; half of it was unfinished anyway. Extremely pointless and incomprehensible. Also the most repetitive book ever. You could skip half the chapter and still only be at the beginning of the book. Didn't really understand any of it and I'm glad to be done with it"


"teacher claimed it was 'shit literature'."


"There just didn't seem to be anything going on here: man is born, slays enemy, searches for meaning, dies."


"As with most things (comedy,drama, movies, plays, music, etc.) my/our tastes change over time and it takes more, or better, than the last to stimulate us. I keep telling myself that anyway. For example, thousands of years from now someone may feel the exact same way about (insert favorite book here) as I do about Gilgamesh. Hard to believe, but I'm sure mental and creative stimulation will be on a whole new level."

Murasaki Shikibu - The Tale of Genji III

"I absolutely detested every moment of reading this book. I only read it because it's on the '1001 Books you Need to Read Before you Die'. Whilst this list of books has helped me to discover books I love and may never have otherwise read ... there are pitfalls such as this dull book. I think, perhaps, that it was added to prove that the East also has a long history of the novel form, but I don't think I really needed to know that before I shuffle off this mortal coil."


"I suppose when you're an aristocratic lady in ancient Japan, there wasn't much else to do but write! ... You can tell as she starts out that she hasn't quite realized how to write for the first couple chapters ... I guess this was written for a bunch of bored, rich ladies to read together and coo and fawn over."


"given that it's 'the first novel' I'll not award only one star, but... lordy this book is repetitive and dreary. I occasionally pick it up and read a wee bit at random and for a little while can enjoy, but that seems to be the only way to appreciate. I recall having an argument about whether the first piece of computer music which I think was by ben johnston was any kind of music at all, in fact, and have to shake my head at peoples' self delusional capacities to hold this novel as being 'still one of the greatest' as it's value seems mainly in the accident of its initiation of an inevitable long form of prose literature"


"i found it to be intensely...boring. the book is extremely long, even by my standards, and the stroryline is repeitive and essentially is a chrnicle of the affairs of the prince and his son. we learn of nothing else"


"I can well appreciate the lords and ladies fascination with the Tale of Genji. Back in the early 60′s, I think, the first night time soap opera, Peyton Place, came to Boston. There was premarital sex going on, not show on the screen of course."


"hahaaha

It seems like Genji Monogatari is the greatest book Japanese have written. To me it is like those pornographic tales, just that the characters in Genji Monogatari are all royal."


"I have to admit that I really don't like The Tale of Genji all that much. It is, essentially, a big soap-opera written for Heian court women. I find claims that it is insightful into human nature or an examination of the human condition somewhat dubious ... Some people consider The Tale of Genji to be the Japanese national epic, but I have a serious bone to pick with that.

I do not believe Genji can be compared to the national epics of other cultures, such as The Iliad, Le Chanson de Roland, or The Niebelungenlied, because it doesn't possess the same sort of character as those epics. Indeed, Genji isn't even a poem, while the others are.

My knowledge of Japanese literature, however, is quite limited. I'd like to believe that the Japanese would have a national epic, but what it would be, I don't know.

All-in-all, The Tale of Genji may be a fascinating look into Heian court-life, but I cannot help but question it's validity as an epic and seminal work in Japanese literature. It is simply the earliest surviving work that we know of, so far as I can tell."


"The _Tale of Genji_ is indisputably the most boring novel I've ever read. This is no exaggeration: it was only because of its towering stature in Japanese literature and an inertia fueled by disbelief -- this is a classic? -- that I finished it; anything else this unpleasant to read I would have put down long before the ending."

Northrop Frye - Anatomy of Criticism

"outright drivel"


"Frye was a man second rate at best who bluffed the gullible with obscure complexities. For a man who never wrote a memorable poem, or a novel, or a play, it is a wonder he could ever in a logical world be seen as an expert in literature. QED."


"Fuck you Northrop Frye! You and your fucked up ways of thinking."


"Mr. Frye's book is a glorified 'Anatomy' of literary cliches. People seem still to build academic careers on this [stuff], and college teachers continue to regurgitate these 'illuminations' to their students. It boggles your mind."

F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby VII

"This is most likely the worst book I've ever read. Fitzgerald spends most of his pages describing the characters and their actions."


"I don't even see how its considered a Classic Masterpiece of Literature. Daisy was just dumb. Tom was even more of an idiot. Gatsby.....How the hell would he even be great? So he had a few parties. Whoopitee do."


"Read this because I had to. Taught it because they made me."


"Yuck, yuck yuck. One of my ELA30 students chose to write a report on this, and so I had to read it. I hate it"


"It's a shame this book is 'required reading' for all freshmen at the high school where I teach. No wonder the vast majority of my students believe they 'hate to read.' Though thoughtfully written, I could not connect with the author, relate to the characters, or appreciate the content as a 35 year old, and compared to a 14 year old American teenager, I have many more life experiences, much more background knowledge, and college level history classes under my belt to help me connect or even enjoy this novel.

So many of my students are not reading on grade level, and this text is what we are assigning them to read? What a horrible advertisement for reading and English classes in general. I had to force myself through the last 10 pages and I don't feel better educated or smarter for having done so. My poor students!"


"It is implied that New Yorkers were corrupt and wealthy"


"Perhaps because the novel was so strangely written, and I, creative when needing to be pragmatic and suddenly very literal when needing to understand things for more than their surface traits, still am unable to comprehend the title of the book: The Great Gatsby. In my opinion, the man wasn't really great at all."


"I don't see what's so great about Gatsby anyway ... The text itself was dry and hard to swallow, like stale bread. Perhaps I am an illiterate for not liking great American literature. Perhaps people are sheep to say that they actually enjoy reading this."


"I got the book online and read around 42 pages, which is one third of the book. It was as if some drunk is telling story of some events. I could not grasp anything out of it. It seem to me as if I am finding some path in darkness despite reading third of the book. No doubt I ditched it there. Must avoid."


"I am astonished that this is considered one of the greatest English-language novels of all time. The nearly universal assessment of 'The Great Gatsby' as a 'masterpiece' is, to my mind, a clear condemnation of our culture as superficial, hollow, and founded upon the most dubious of values. What does it matter that the author's style and technique are impeccable? What does it matter that language, setting, pace, plot, and symbolism are expertly and intricately woven together? What does it matter that the characterizations are finely honed and expertly wrought if, in the final analysis, they and their actions are, without exception, despicable? ... To those who insist that Fitzgerald was trying to write a cautionary tale, I would counter that he might have succeeded, had he included any identifiable, emphatic caution whatsoever."


"Wow. This book was just plain bad. Entire story could have been told in three paragraphs. The rest is just fluff. Really boring fluff."


"If you like sops you would like this book. I do not like sops."


"I baffles me that people consider 'The Great Gatsby' to be one of the best books ever written. To me the plot is clichéd and boring, the characters, with the exception of Tom, are bland and uninteresting and the social commentary falls flat on its pretensions arse. I only have to assume F. Scott Fitzgerald had his head so far up his own rectum, he didn't realize what he was writing was utter horse shit. Or then again Fitzgerald could be the Ed Wood of the literary industry. This is by far and away one of the worst books I have ever read, stay as far away from this as possible and instead read a book with one of the most, if not the most, interesting plots in a book ever, the best character in literary history and very direct social commentary, Fight Club."

Egil's Saga

"the writing style is a little dated."


"Mindless Violence as Virtuous Heroics
This book is the perfect example of how each culture justifies their social norm no matter how ridiculous it seems to others. According to this saga: the greatest asset a man can have is brute strength, the best approach in life is anger, and the most adored virtue is killing without blinking an eye and with no justification required. Oh yeah, just stealing the loot is not good enough because it's considered cowardly. It's much better and more manly to rob people face to face then kill them in cold blood ... I used to think they only loot and kill people who were foreigners and strangers. But this saga says, no, they loot and kill anyone anywhere anytime whenever the urge strikes them. Umm... all the violent criminals of today are born in the wrong time and wrong place and missed their great chance to shine as great leaders.
It's considered literature and hugely popular among its own people for many hundreds of years and now considered a classic even by others. It was enjoyed as entertainment by its own people for hundreds of years but it takes an iron stomach and heart of steel to read it now."


"if you like descriptive words set in artful prose, don't go near this book, it's gory but overall bland in speach. You might not completly understand everything even after the second reading of it but thst might be because you're falling asleep(I did several times)"


"reads like a dry history book"

AS AN AID TO GRASPING THE INJUSTICE OF THIS COMPLAINT, I OFFER A REPRESENTATIVE EXCERPT FROM EGIL'S SAGA (TRANSLATION YOUR HUMBLE BLOGGER'S):

"Egil stood up and went across the floor to where Armodh was sitting. He grabbed him by the shoulders and knocked him up against the wall. Then Egil forced up out of himself a great deal of vomit, and it gushed into Armodh's face, into his eyes and nose and into his mouth. It streamed down onto his chest, and Armodh was nearly choking, and when he got his breath back, his own vomit spewed up."

Thomas Kyd - The Spanish Tragedy

"The problem with this play, is that it is a tragedy. I don't seem to like tragedies very much. They are rather predictable. It was a pretty cool idea though, it reminded me of A Chirstmas Carol"


"in interesting dialogue with Middleton's Revenger's Tragedy and Hamlet - although much more rhetorically rich than either"


"clearly primitive in its technique."

Chinua Achebe - Things Fall Apart V

"To start off, the book was not relatable at all. As I started reading the book, I was forced to immediately try to understand their culture and beliefs ... The book gave me no motivation to continue reading it at all."


"History really bores me."


"I don't care about the stuff that happens in Africa!"


"Well, this started to look like a good promising book, but the names of the characters are African and it's very hard to keep track of who's who, you forget because the character's names are so hard to remember, they're African names"


"You know how when you're at a buffet, and you see a type of dish that you either can't eat or don't like, and you avoid it altogether? Yeah. That's how I felt."


"I'm sorry... I'm western, I sympathise with Africa's colonization. But this book is serving one purpose - to give Africans a voice."


"Just plain terrible. I did not understand the point of this story. Was there even a central idea? I don't know. The writting style did not captivate my and the use of african words made it difficult for me to read and follow."


"Nothing unique was brought to the table, and the book ends on a disappointing and unfullfilling note. The same story could have been applied to any other oppressed culture, such as Native Americans, and the results would be exactly the same."


"Pure anti-American and anti-Western propaganda!
Do you hate the West? Just fill your head with crap from this book and you will hate the West even more.

This is Poison. I was forced to read this in college by some dumb-ass liberal professor who had a grudge against the West."


"What really amazes me, looking back, is how the author accepted the 'great men' and their casual and consistent brutality for much of the book... and then, when more powerful (European) forces came in and made THEM knuckle under, well, THAT was tragic."


"This book made me disrespect a culture I knew little about before reading it."


"Though an easy read, Things Fall Apart is overly simplistic and irrelevant. Its only value to me is as a way to get to know African culture and the historical context of Colonial Africa. Besides that, it fails to address anything universal or significant."


"I did not like this book at all. Its brutality and weird culture definitely made me disgusted."


"I get it...it's an African culture that is different from my own. But that in itself doesn't make it a good book! I don't need multiple stories about beating women to see how misogynistic and violent that culture is. And the Christian missionaries came in and tried to convert them and change their culutre? Big freakin surprise...not. Zzz. Boring."


"This book did an amazing job of showing how the missionaries came to a place that wasn't progressing as fast as where they came form"


"The portrayal of African natives is not flattering enough to generate real sympathy for their culture. If Achebe thought that this would produce positive reactions to native culture, he went about it in a very strange way. Wife-beating, infanticide, and primitive superstitious beliefs are easy to throw away for the peace and harmony found in Christianity."


"The climax seemed to be the author taking out his personal dislike of white people and Christians, which, as a white Christian, I didn't appreciate. I'm tired of hearing about how horrible white people are all the time. If we were a society that was truly about promoting equality, we would stop constantly slamming the whites."


"If there was a point to this book, I missed it. I didn't find the style particularly outstanding; the character development was limited; the extensive use of non-English words was a distraction. I don't know what I was supposed to get out of it, but I didn't get it."

Toni Morrison - Sula

"These women grew up during a time when African Americans were still being discriminated against"


"The fact that Morrison ONLY writes about blacks and oppression limits her writing even more. Do not mistake me in thinking Sula isn't also about women, motherhood, and families, but, then again, so are most of her novels ... Is the only way to write a story about black people to write about when they were oppressed, segregated and enslaved? I thought it was more complex than that."

YEAH, WHY DON'T PEOPLE EVER WRITE ABOUT THAT PERIOD OF HISTORY WHEN AFRICAN-AMERICANS WEREN'T OPPRESSED


"The literature was contradictory in that Ms. Morrison writes beautfully but at the same time includes language and depictions that are very unbecoming and unnecessary."


"The book contained mature content and was extremely difficult to follow ... It wouldn’t have hurt to leave out the inappropriate words, particularly in the beginning of the novel ... Also, the author could have excluded the scenes containing mature content without affecting the meaning of the novel. Toni Morrison wrote about Sula having an affair with a man she hardly knew. Several of the graphic details could have been omitted including, '... (she) let her breasts graze his chest,' (page 130) and, 'he swallowed her mouth just as her thighs...' (page 131) ... It was unnecessary for Toni Morrison to include several scenes containing slightly overrated content ... I certainly did not need to read about their explicit escapades and was shocked by the amount of detail the author included. This novel was bizarre and atypical"


"I think what really bothers me is that, mostly written as 3rd person, there are two small sections that occur well over 100 pages (more than halfway) through the novel that shift to 1st person. I feel like that kind of breaks a contract you have with your reader."


"the characters weren't very rootable"


"This author needs some serious therapy."


"Too pretentious a language to describe simple people. I can only wonder what about this is AP-Conference worthy..."


"Toni Morrison seems to me like a potential writer without a real story to tell ... It is probably blasphemy for a white man (such as myself) to criticize a renowned black female writer. But I'm going to. Because her writing, beautiful though it is, isn't literature."


"Literature?
I'd be insulted by the content if I were of that culture.... There was nothing redeeming about the characters or the plot ... I'd not consider it material for an American Lit course, maybe a course on women writers, but definately NOT literature!"


"Such prose is not southern gothic - it's simply nonsense. Do not mention Faulkner in relation to this author - that is insulting a literary treasure. In fact, novels of this mediocrity should never be discussed as literature at all."


"I have never read anything by Morrison before, but as an English major I was open to anything. This was a confusing, incoherent, and pointless work. What was I supposed to gain from this piece? Many students in my class were just as baffled (and frightened; we were being graded on this. . .) as I was. I would have preferred the classics like Wharton, Austen, and the Bronte sisters--I leave their works with complete satisfaction that I gained something from them. After all, isn't that what literature is all about?"


"Very stupid book
I think books with stories like this should not be celebrated. Sula as the main character lacks moral standards and principles. I just could not believe that it has won the Pulitzer Prize. Please please please do not read it!!!"


"Primarily, I think it is a ronchy story which I don't care for - even if it does portray a certain culture and way of life. It (the ronchy way of living) shouldn't exist any more and the characters habits and ways of living should be tamed ... the way these African-Americans people live is atrocious and appalling. I can't believe that people live like this. If this is close to realistic then we've got a problem with society. We should all be worried with people living like animals."

Joseph Heller - Catch-22 II

"it's almost half dialogue apart from tons of unnecessary descriptions and a smattering of fistfights and actual combat."


"This book is CrAzY! From the get-go, you'll be confused. Not because you can't read but because the book isn't in chronological order, which gives the impression that Joseph Heller was having a seizure while writing this book and the editors didn't catch it."


"First off, the writing here is garbage. Actually, it's every bit as bad as Twilight. The worst crime with the writing is that, like the aforementioned Twilight saga, Heller does more telling than showing. Yeah, the gun is across the room. you don't need to tell us that. How about 'Clevinger was surprised to discover the inexorable hatred of the Action board, which was the strangest of many things happening'. That is way better than, paraphrasing here, 'There were many strange things happening. The strangest of all was the inexorable hatred of the Action Board. Clevinger was surprised to discover it.' There are more examples of that throughout the book, and they are WAY longer than the one I provided. There are several run-on sentences and examples of bad grammar, which are annoying. And the dialogue is just 'shoot me in the head' awful.
...
The plot? Was there even any plot? I could hardly distinguish one. Just random events happening. Also, the book tries to make itself like a movie by jumping around from character to character when it comes to certain things, something I hate. The names are stupid too- Major Major Major Major? Colonel Korn? ... I felt like someone had spiked my coffee with LSD by the time I got to the end."


"what it portrays is totally disrespectable to the majority of military people who work hard and follow the rules."


"Since I didn't like this book it is guaranteed that they would not put my comment on the web site ... Unfortunately this was twenty bucks I won't get back. I would like to beg anyone planning to actually read this book to not, one of the most absurd things was attempted in this novel and it failed miserably: to look at the lighter side of war."


"The kind of humor employed was strange and I have never seen it before"


"There are many myths that persist in modern life. One myth is that war is 'meaningless', 'useless' or 'insane.' Another myth is that Catch-22 is a good book ... Many American wars were fought because people believed passionately in a noble cause and were willing to fight to defend that cause against those who would vanquish it."


"Yossarian is a bore. A hero in his own right for having flown so many dangerous missions, he runs away from heroism to become an epic-slacker and whiner."


"There is no central unifying theme"


"If a student wrote a paper/essay like this he/she would get batted across the head."


"I guess it IS number two because this novel (If you can even call it that) was S**T! I rename it, Catch Number 2"


"Catch-22 is rather about smoke and mirrors, a second-rate magician's parlor tricks. It is conceptually weakened by the over arcing, anti-finessed characters. Each goes about with a sledge hammer banging out Joesph Heller's ideology, an artificial artifice. It would never be published today by a known house and caught in his own 22, Heller would, need do and left to, the self-publishing ocean of unread authors."


"I personally feel if Joseph Heller wrote it later on in life he would have had more life experiences to draw upon and could have written a much better novel."


"Obviously, a lot people were smoking a lot of weed in the sixties to think this thing is worth reading."


"Anybody mind if I break up the love-fest for this piece of anti-establishment drivel? Get serious folks. The premise of this book is based on three assumptions, all incorrect, which are as follows: (1) the military is evil, (2) any person in the military is an idiot, and (3) any person who mocks the military is heroic.
Please. This type of thinking went out with flower power and tie-dyed t-shirts. Get with the times, people. Vietnam is over."

Joseph Heller - Catch-22

"My dad warned me that this book was lower on the evolution scale than a wet turd, but I thought I'd try it anyway. I hated this with every fibre in my body and with any luck the book will just crawl away and die."


"Characters come in and out. They all want to state there opinion. They are unlikable. They are stupid and you know what after 150 pages I can say WTF is the fuss all about? I am starting to think it's a pretentious thing. Advise; you want to be pretentious read Dostoevsky, it is difficult writing and long. It comes from history. But you know what the hell things are about, and you can follow where it is going. I could've not rated it. But I wanted to hurt him for buying the book and keeping it on the shelve for 6 years. I should have burned it for winter heat....only problem it rarely goes below 10 degrees centigrade around here in the middle of the harshest winter."


"If his title had been something slightly less appealing like 'Catch-33' or if the term 'Catch-22' was used but hidden in the text, rather than used as the title, no one would have ever heard of this book."


"The whole thrust of Heller's book seems to be that humans are totally horrible creatures and that one must do whatever is necessary to survive. Look out for number one. If he was alive today, even if in a wheelchair with an oxygen can, I'd go right up to him and beat the living snot out of him."


"to compare this book to the modern books of our time is like comparing black and white television to our high definition televisions lol.. thats what I think about this book! :D"


"The book was about a captain named Yossarian, who doesn't want to fly a plane. I kinda get why he wouldn't want to fly a plane"


"This is most probably the true origin of internet stupidity"


"unpatriotic"


"Read something else instead. And don't worry that you won't look cool to those intelligent, well-read friends of yours. They didn't like it either. They are just trying to look cool to everyone else."


"It seemed like one big exercise in sarcasm and opposite-ness. I had trouble following it. It also was lambasting the military/government."


"Heck, I even contemplated putting up a sign where the book is displayed in the bookstore, saying 'DON'T BUY THIS BOOK' were it not for my law-abiding morally-right sensitivities."


"Typical of modern 'literature' which tries to devalue life while promoting a 'nihilist' and 'left' slant ad nauseam."


"Joseph Heller tried way too hard to be clever, while at the same time being stridently anti-american and advocating the worst sort of selfish immorality."


"The whole Catch 22 thing in itself was very confusing."


"I had to stop reading this book because of the sex and nudity."

Shakespeare - Macbeth III

"One of the most horrible books I have had the pleasure to read.

I mean, this is the crap that makes people my age despise reading. People need to learn yesterday's classics can't even match the crappy teen books of today.

Get me some work from Shakespeare that is at least Dean Koontz level, then get back to me when he gets a character at least even with Koontz's Vess."


"I'm not a fan of Shakespeare to begin with, but Macbeth was especially awful in my opinion. All that happened was people died! Macbeth killed person after person. WHERE'S THE PLOT??? WHERE'S THE LOVE STORY??? And Lady Macbeth.. Whew! What a freak! I mean, 'unsex me here'? Who even says that? Something happened to Shakespeare when he wrote this because boy, oh boy... Even Romeo and Juliet was better and it was about these middle-schoolers thinking they were in love! Not to mention the names... I mean, FLEANCE?! It sounds like Fleece! What happened to normal names like Bob or Fred or George?"


"Shakespeare is stupid. You can't even tell what the characters are saying! Plus, he didn't even write all of Macbeth, the lazy bum. He didn't write the part with Hecate. I don't understand why he couldn't talk like a normal person. I also don't get why everyone likes himk so much, he wasn't that great. His plays all have such predictable endings."


"I DON'T SPEAK SHAKESPEARE, ONLY ENGLISH!!!! To be honest it's got a good plot, it's just not portayed well at all. Im pretty sure it took Macbeth two pages to stab Duncan. I'm an ameteur writer myself and when someone in my book gets stabbed, it takes about this much space:'I Stabbed him.' It's not that hard! Francly I think my world would be a lot easier if I didn't have to put up with the crap Shakespeare wrote in schools"


"I'm not the biggest Shakespeare fan...as an English teacher, am I allowed to say that?"


"EGH THE BEGINNING OF THIS BOOK MADE ME WANT TO SNORE AT THE ONSLAUGHT OF WORDS THAT ARE PUT THERE JUST TO BE PUT THERE AND OCEANS OVER OCEANS OF APOSTROPHES SEEMINGLY ABBREVIATING THE WORD UNTIL IT MULTIPLIED INTO MORE WORDS AND WORDS WORDS WORDS EVERYWHERE."


"while not as painful to read as a midsummer whatever or as loathsome as romeo & juliet, there's just nothing here i really appreciate.

which is partly due to saturation. my introduction to literature, in childhood, was primarily characterized by douglas adams, arthur conan doyle & david sedaris, which is a wide variety of authors who employ plenty of the same narrative techniques in their storytelling that shakespeare pioneered. & i've never enjoyed plays much.

so here are some crazy out-of-context complaints i can think of as i write this at three in the morning: clever wordplay is not the same thing as comedy; clunky wordplay is less similar still. poetic language (which is a description i also take issue with, but that's too tied to the time period for even me to seriously complain about) doesn't supplement weak characterization. dramatic sense is a poor substitute for plot. by the same token, well timed contrast is not good structure."


"I just can't understand why Macbertha is so famous? Was the story revolutionary because it was the first of its kind? Okay then let’s say I went hiking (because I go hiking all the fucking time) and discovered a mysterious cave, and in the cave I found the first ever caveman drawings of a bunch of stick figures fucking, equivalent to the drawing ability of a four year old. Would this be considered as famous or revolutionary because it was the first ever drawing? Would it be the most single greatest form of art known to man?

No.

So why should I give a shit about Macbigbertha? Just because something is old doesn't make it good.

ALL the characters speak like they have… problems.
...
Seriously Macbertha, go check yourself into Arkham Asylum in Gotham City you psycho slut from hell."


"This book was so depressing, this book is not worth recommending to anyone. Just reading about murders sickens me to death. It makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot stand murders and hate books."