Friday, October 4, 2013

Ernest Hemingway - The Old Man and the Sea

"Santiago is the man I want to just be near... all the time."


"Oh, my good lord in heaven. Cut your line, land your boat and go to McDonald's!"


"I have made many sacrifices as a mother but none so great as slogging through this book"


"The whole book was about this old *insert unsavory word*, who refused to cut the line and was deteremined to catch a fist. The whole damn time. And when he finally gets close to shore the *insert unsavory word* fish gets devoured by sharks. REALLY? Did that really just happen?"


"Hemingway won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 1953 for the The Old Man and the Sea, and the Nobel committee in 1954 cited it as contributing to his winning the Nobel Prize in Literature award as well. I have to wonder why; I think they must have known he was ill and wanted to be nice."


"Apparently I am a huge fan of chapters. I never realized before how much joy I feel when I finish one chapter and start another; the convenience stopping at the end of a chapter before going to bed; the helpfulness of potty breaks while reading. Needless to say, this book did not have any of those things as Hemingway thought he was too good for chapters."


"The Old Man and the Sea. Why waste 127 pages instead of saying, 'and old man is a terrible fisher.'"


"What did it achieve in the end? He's an old man who's obviously fucking crazy if he wants to let a fish lead him out to sea for days. And in the end most of the fish is eaten by the shark anyway!
Well done! Props to you gramps for going missing for days and bringing back a mutilated fish that nobody would want anyway!"


"I get it, it's supposed to be allegorical, and some great literature, but the thing about a lot of classics is that I find them to be incredibly boring. Maybe because I'm a 21st century person."


"lame excuse for his terrible writing that people seem to buy, without realizing the guy was just trying to come up with a concept to attempt to pass off his lack of skill as art"


"This book is a despicable creation ... Call me a sick person if you will, but I became pleased when the fish became destroyed; I had developed a strong disliking towards the old man because of the monstrosity of writing craft Hemingway uses, so I became close to jubilant when his dreams were eaten up along with the fish ... Overall, I loathed this book with much of my spirit."


"I read this book back in high school, and I thought it was utter crap. I was reading high fantasy, and I was just so used to the complex story telling and deep visuals that when I read this book, it felt hollow and empty. I didn't think anything could be written any worse."


"Don't even bother thinking about reading it. You will have lost tons of brain cells by the end of the book. That's why so many people say they like it, they don't know better."


"Way to ruin books, Hemingway."

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