THE BEST OF FEBRUARY

WILLIAM JAMES - THE VARIETIES OF RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

"I have a degree and some background in psychology, but I couldn't understand a word of what James Joyce was saying or trying to say, it's so 'thick', and that's unfortunately the way a lot of the top 100 greatest novels read for me; like Ulysses for example. That book was so thick with aulde Englishe, one would need an interpreter or something. My only thought is, what a bunch of stuffy people, those literary 'scholars', who voted many of these books. I am reading all the way through the bible, my objective, but I am also reading and enjoying many of the greatest classic novels as an objective, just to do it. But I don't need to read this book 'varieties..' to gain a single grain of wisdom or whatever. I am a born-again God-Man with a most wonderful life experience. Handcuffed in a police car and at the breaking point, I silently cried out from someplace desperately deep inside, 'O God... Take me out of this world', and true to my prayer, God answered. One day hitchhiking, I met a household of 'brothers' headed by a middle-aged Japanese couple. The Japanese man asked me, 'If you could have a treasure chest, that every time you opened it, there was something new and [exciting], would you take it?' When I looked into his eyes, they were shining, not as if he had been weeping, but glistening as with life and joy. I didn't answer; in fact I put up a fighting argument the whole time, but I stepped out to the curb, and whispered, 'Lord Jesus Christ! If you are real, get me a ride.' Almost instantly, a VW bug pulled over with a young college music student inside and took me home. Another day, I tested again, '.. If you're real, please give me a ride.' A car again pulled over, I got in without saying a word, and the lady handed me some christian gospel tracts, '..Here. Hand these out to people you meet. Praise the Lord.' Again another day, I tested, 'Lord, if you're real..' I got in without saying a word, and the lady exclaimed, '..I just had to pick you up. God told me, 'Pick up my Child'...'"


HOMER- ODYSSEY

"Sure the killing and the monsters and the adultery is all swell, especially when read as a 13 year old. Still an overlong tale (epics are definitively but unnecessarily so) only bested by Ovid's Aeneid for tedious filler material."


SHAKESPEARE - HAMLET

"Would've been a good book if the play was revolved around Laertes instead of Hamlet. It would've been based on the same timeline but just from Laertes's point of view. Think about it."

"It mainly rewards it's dignified and true readers who push through and read it in it's entirety ... I'm a fan of atmosphere in books and setting, and the setting in Italy and Greece and Eastern Europe really intrigues me. I love knowing more about those places and their history. So this is a nice way to get a sweet taste of that"


DOSTOEVSKY - CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

"Lessons this book teaches us: 'You are not superiour to other people, do not kill other people, God is the answer to all your problems'

Good. now let's go after some teletabbies."


EMERSON - ESSAYS

"This book was a waste of my time. Not anywhere in his bumbling incoherence did Waldo come up with a single cognitive thought! The shame he has brought upon American society is very disturbing. I mean, his name is WALDO. You know? As in, where's Waldo? Obviously he's very lost. Stay away!"


BEOWULF

"Beowulf is the enbodyment of everthing I can't stand in a male. He is arrogant and vain. It is completely unnecesary to announce every person's linage every time a person is spoken of. YUCK!!!!!! The memories in the middle of an action are distracting and annoying. The only reason I gave it 2 stars was because I like dragons."

"I continue to be amazed at the belief that just because something is written by the British then that in itself makes it a classic and a must read. We freed ourselves from the British government through war and struggle. What do we have to do to free ourselves from their literature, becuase other than The Cantebury Tales and a few poems and epitaphs, British lit is long, boring, tedious and outdated. Not to mention some of the language is unbearable, I find myself having to re-read passages just to understand them. Please free the college undergrads of the world."