Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Beowulf

"This is terrible. Beowulf is the most famous epic poem ever."


"Old old book, maybe the oldest book in the world."


"One of the earliest written stories we have recorded."


"If I wrote a list of things I don't give a shit about, I'm pretty sure 'some big fucking monster whose name sounds like a word for the area between my balls and my ass that attacks alcoholics and is eventually slain by some asshole, told entirely in some ancient form of English that I don't understand' would be near the top."


"the idea of holes in the plot never occurred to people in the 11th-12th century(?somewhere in that time frame, I can't remember)."


"About a thousand years before this, Virgil wrote the Aeneid and Ovid wrote the Metamorphoses. Then this crap came along and got shut away because nobody wanted to read it. Now everybody thinks it's great because their stupid ancestor barbarians wrote a crazy story that sucks, has no stylistic merit, and doesn't make sense. I'm glad they couldn't find the whole thing."


"what is up with the ending? it takes place a half century later and for the most part is entirely irrelevant to the rest of the plot, which was bad to begin with ...

What's all the more ridiculous about this AWFUL plot is the fact that about half of my copy of Beowulf is the intro and afterword, full of PRAISE for this book. I don't care to look up quotes, but I'm sure you've skimmed through them a bit. Just because this is the only piece of literature to survive from this era doesn't make it good."


"The author had some pretty screwy priorities. I counted at least four or five mentions of how glory and fame are the most important things in life."


"I felt some of the fighting was unnecessary."


"Honestly, I don't think much of it ,which is natural, because it was written a billion years ago."


"The only thing I remember is that it used some kind of oldy-timey English that I didn't understand."


"If Beowulf was written in 2009, it wouldn't be published. This poem is awful. I read it twice just to make sure. Sucky status confirmed."


"Probably the worst book I've ever read. I have never been so confused by a book."


"i hate this book more than any other. i did learn, though, that when someone tells you you cannot do something, you should do it just to prove them wrong. like when dr. jensen makes you write a beowulf essay 4 times and tells you that you can't write and to change your major. my first newberry will be for her. nah nah nah nah nah!"


"This book is a huge reason why I dropped out of the Honor's Program a the University of Utah. Intellectual studies of the west my eye. The reason why we don't know who wrote it is that nobody wants to take credit for it."


"Another college book that I didn't completely read but completely hated."


"I especially don't recommend this book to people under 8th grade. I am stinkin serious"


"I didn't like it, I think it's a guy thing. All that killing and bloodshed, all that honoring gold. Ick ... And they should have renamed the characters Tom Dick and Harry, I couldn't keep tack of them all."


"Reading Beowulf is boring. Go rent the movie instead."

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