Thursday, October 27, 2011

SPECIAL: KILL ALL ENGLISH MAJORS

"I adore children’s literature and I am an english major. I love the child-like innocence of children who do not completely grasp the idea of death."


"Nothing is sexier than a book.
That said, I absolutely ravish mine.
Pages will be bent, notes will be written in the margins, exciting phrases or quotes will be underlined and spines will be cracked.
When others see my books, they know I've loved these books long enough not to be shy with them anymore."


"With regards to studying songwriters in English courses, I actually wrote an entire paper on 'Tangled Up in Blue' by Bob Dylan for my AP English Literature class in High School. Once I actually started researching it, I was shocked to find every verse (there's seven of them) was its own Shakespearean Sonnet. I find it amazing that people can write one Shakespearean Sonnet, and here there were seven that not only told their own story, but tied together to tell an overarching story. Writing the paper made me appreciate the song on a whole new level, and really opened my eyes to how truly poetic songs can be."

YOU KNOW, IF YOU MAKE UP LIES ABOUT THEM


"You will learn to love the characters, and its remarkable how vivid he made them in a way we can relate to today for a book written in the 1950's."


THIS MAN IS TALKING ABOUT JOSEPH HELLER'S CATCH-22:

"I really appreciate it when a book respects the intelligence of its readership. If a book is going to be 'experimental' in any way, I love those that throw you into a world with no explanations - a literary baptism of fire (ie: Orwell's 'Animal Farm')."


"I'm writing an essay right now on Neil Gaiman's 'American Gods.' Storms play a large part in the book. You have NO idea how RIDICULOUSLY happy I was when I typed down the phrase 'the oncoming storm.' In the context of the essay, it has nothing to do with Doctor Who, but in my head, I can't help but feel ridiculously happy that I managed to write about Neil Gaiman AND sneak in a Doctor Who reference. That's all. =D"


"So, out of curiosity, am I the only nerd that has 'favorite words'? Two of mine are Juxtaposition, and Nihilist. I usually find every reason to use them when I can (although, this is much more successful with the former than the latter)."


"Yeah, I'm a heathen
Yeah, I'm an anarchist
Yeah, I abuse Heroin
And yeah, I'd rather be hated for what I am, than loved for what I am not.

Fuck Cobain and Lennon
Fuck Osbourne and Clapton
Fuck the Music
Fuck the drifting Clouds
Fuck the sea and trees
Fuck the sky and birds
Fuck the rabbits and fuck the sunshine
Fuck your plum cakes and your apple pies
Fuck your mind and rape your soul
Fuck Marx and Nietzsche
Fuck Aeschylus, fuck Wordsworth, fuck Milton
Fuck Fidel and Gandhi
Fuck De Broglie and fuck Bohr
Fuck Wagner and Tchaikovsky
Fuck democracy and communism
Fuck crack and weed and speed and mead
Fuck the mushrooms and the grass
Fuck Martha Stewart and Tyler Durden
Fuck Darwin and fuck I-Ching
Fuck Branson, fuck Trump, fuck Hefner, fuck Gates
Fuck Johnnie Walker and Zino Davidoff
Fuck Joseph
Fuck Mary
Fuck Jesus
Fuck Vishnu
Fuck Allah
Fuck your God
Fuck all your Idols
Fuck Bush, fuck Blair, fuck Gyurcsany, fuck Jintao
Fuck the system, fuck the government
Fuck controversy and censorship
Fuck commercialism and materialism
Fuck Education and thought control
Fuck the Establishment
Fuck the Revolution
Fuck Freedom
Fuck Anarchy and Nihilism
I'm sick of all this shit
Fuck the whole motherfucking thing
All I want now is my life back
So my soul can sing"


"99% of the books I read (except school ones) aren't 'literature'. Star Wars, Star Trek, Warhammer 40k, etc. I see no problem with this."


"I am a comma WHORE."


"I'm also good at math. That's right, an English major who's good at math. In 6th grade I memorized 26 digits of pi for fun. I still know them."


"I hate poetry is what it really comes down to. And most classic literature. Jane Austen? Can't read it. Am I in love with the masterpiece theatre's version of Pride and Prejudice? Hell yes. Something about the pacing of books from that time bore me to tears."


"I don't enjoy reading books ... honestly, the medium just doesn't hold my attention. I know I don't have a short attention span, because I can read a multiple-page thread on a forum in one sitting, so that's not it. I can't quite put my finger on what makes me dislike books as much as I do, I do spend a lot of time reading; I'm just not reading printed words. There was an article in Publisher's Weekly a while ago about how people who cry that teens these days aren't reading as much are wrong, because they are reading, but rather than reading books, newspapers, and magazines, the'yre reading wikis, blogs, and forums. That's my reading habits in a nutshell."

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