HAWTHORNE - THE SCARLET LETTER
"She was forced to wear an 'A' for 'A whore.'"
DOSTOEVSKY - CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
"There is no doubt that 'Crime and Punishment' would have been one of the greatest novels of the century had not Dostoevsky leaned towards the more acceptable sense of morality related to the weak tenets of Chrisitanity. In doing so, he made Rasknolikov a caricature of himself, lethargic and yet redeemable by accepting Christ's suffering. It was more appropriate to adapt Nietzsche's figure of 'the noble superman' but Dostoevsky, at the time of his writing, was a destroyed soul, drinking and plagued by debts, a gambling and morphine addiction and on top of that, he was a converted Christian, which is to say he resembled a 'spineless worm'.
There is a powerful beginning in which the bold character Rasknolikov conceptualizes the murder of an old aged hag who serves no purpose to society but beyond that, Dostoevsky tortures us with the conscience of an obstinate man who is shattered by an insignificant crime. In all effect, Dostoevsky became an apologist not only for bourgeois values and the Czar with his corrupt regime, but for Orthodox Christianity, which not only supported the exploitation of the Russian population but welcomed it. The end of the novel, which portrays a once proud, noble, and intellectually superior young man weeping before a prostitute and the image of the bible, brings about the demise of Dostoevsky's credibility."
FITZGERALD - THE GREAT GATSBY
"Gatsby was obviously drunk, or smoking marijuana when he was writing this book, and must have thougth that this book was pretty clever. It isn't."
HERODOTUS - THE HISTORY
"Why do we insist that just because something is written 6,000 years ago that makes it good? Maybe, just maybe, it's 6,000 years old for a good reason. I have to admit, I still haven't finished it."
SHAKESPEARE - JULIUS CAESAR
"The other thing I don't like is how his characters all the same in all of his plays. It's same type of character for each. Another thing I dislike about Shakespeare is that all of his plays have violence in them. Someone always dies in Shakespeare. His plays were way too much the same. He kept writing the same thing over and over again."
JOYCE - DUBLINERS
"Call me an uncivilized peasant if you will, but I continue to despise James Joyce. I recall a college English class of mine where all the students were ducking Prof. Gatza's questions about Joyce's 'Stephen Hero,' and--when he solicited an explanation for the mysterious phenomenon--only fifteen-year-old Brucie Boy had the guts to tell him, 'Well, none of us have read the book because, frankly, it's just pitifully wretchedly dreadful.' (I suppose that's why Gatza gave me a B.)"
MILL - ON LIBERTY
"Of course as an agnostic he advocates that socially, individuals should be privately able to do whatever they like. Unfortunately in order for a society to be free from too many laws the people must abide by unwritten laws and that means the laws of the Abrahamic God. If a village does not want to tolerate homosexuals then they should be free not to and be able to drive them out, it's called the social contract."
TWAIN - THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN
"I'm sorry, but Jim talks too much in this book."
SOPHOCLES - OEDIPUS REX
"Oedipus Rex is bad. The book reminds me of drinking rancid milk. First off, there was far too much incest in the book, no one likes to hear about incest. Also, the book is incredibly unbelievable. Yeah, I'm sure that the Sphinx really told a riddle, and if you got it wrong, he ate you. I am sure that is 100% historically accurate. Don't even get me started on this blind guy 'seeing' the future."
STEVENSON - THE STRANGE CASE OF DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE
"I give this book 2 out of 5 because Dr. Jekyll clearly made the mistake that no scientist would like to make in their entire scientific life. He used his knowledge for bad reasons which resulted in hurting people."
BRONTE - WUTHERING HEIGHTS
"The lack of plausable discription takes its toll on this could be great story. At one point in the book while discribing a trellus of flowers it was depicted as follows: 'I noticed that there were flowers surrounding the barn.'. Not to be rude... but... What kind of barn was it? was it old, or new, or red, or green? Flowers? What kind? What color? This very bland discription of what MAY be a older barn that MAY have help horses, and that MAY have had flowers the MAY have been yellow creats no mental image of the area that MAY exist. Wuthering Heights was once descibed as a gloomy building. I mean, excuse me? A gloomy building? Is it 2 stories high, or maby 3? What color is it? Surroundings?"
SHAKESPEARE - MEASURE FOR MEASURE
"The fact that I don't know anyone who's read this speaks to the plain and simple fact that it sucks."
NIETZSCHE - THE BIRTH OF TRAGEDY
"Anyone who refuses to believe in God should die of AIDS"
LADY MURASAKI - THE TALE OF GENJI
"Okay if you like the sort of primitive, crappy storytelling that existed before the art of literature really developed. Reading Genji is like taking a ride on lumpy stone wheels instead of Michelin tires."
KEATS - POEMS
"JOHN KEATS SUCKS!!!!!!!!, William Blake is the shit. keats sucks blakes nuts., William is by far the best romantic poet, BITCHES
man, how can you even compare blake to keats, your a fag man. blake is easily THE BEST Romantic poet, ever. lord byron is a better romantic poet then keats, LORD BYRON. you fags just can't admit he sucks donkey balls. jesus christ, even Samuel Taylor Coleridge is a better poet, you fags just can't admit keats sucks."
AUSTEN - PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
"Due to unfortunate job-related stuff, I'm currently teaching a Jane Austen novel. Doesn't matter which. I can't keep them straight."
CERVANTES - DON QUIXOTE
"Cervantes may have been a genius, but the rest of us aren't. For his next book I think he should try to write on everyone else's level."
DICKENS - GREAT EXPECTATIONS
"If you are thinking that I am not intellectually advanced enough to appreciate this fine art, then you are a follower. Try to think for yourself sometimes. Bye-bye."
HEMINGWAY - THE SUN ALSO RISES
"Hemingway's writing style could easily be surpassed by a seven year old. Descriptions like 'she was really pretty' just don't cut it in the world of top writers."
FREUD - THE PSYCHOPATHOLOGY OF EVERYDAY LIFE
"The evidence is mounting that Freud murdered his patients according to the serial killer model that Harold Shipman, Herman Mudgett et. al. would later follow - that of a Jewish/circum-stumped, opiate-prescribing doctor who killed his patients for money and circum-revenge against their yenta mothers.
...
Freud was a misandrist (faggot). Some of his kosher partners in anus worship were Willhelm Fliess and Edward Silberstein, and he broke up with Carl Jung over misandrist attraction."
NABOKOV - LOLITA
"I want to say that I completely understand Humbert's preference, however I didn't find the guy to honestly be such an intellectual, but more of a person who is simply mixed up about his choice in women. A more normal person in his situation would marry a women that could make him feel loved, and masturbate to child porn in secrecy like an actual person, but there is not a single nymphet in the world that would actually be like any of the ones in this book."
DE BEAUVOIR - THE SECOND SEX
"I was amazed to read this book to see the origin of the women's movement. The jihad that Beauvoir calls for in the opening pages actually says that women should murder men. She says the proletariat has always dreamed of massacring the bourgeoisie, why can't women dream the same in regards to men.
The result is a kind of declaration of holy war. This holy war has now spread to thousands of women's studies programs whose only aim is the spreading of hatred. This is funded by liberal states throughout the western world. It has utterly poisoned the air between the genders as men are viciously painted in the minds of gullible young women. Run by violent lesbians, the university training these women receive is devoid of anything except the study of myth, and literature. Science and math are male, and therefore left out of the women's studies curriculum.
The training silos in Pakistan and Afghanistan create terrorists with a black and white vision of the world. Their fatwa is well-known against America.
The fatwa that women should dream of massacring men is less well-known, and yet is funded without question.
Reading this book was a huge breakthrough for me. I felt I had seen the source of my misery in college, and for many years after, as women of all ages exploded with rage at the men around me. They are being made into human missiles by Simone de Beauvoir's rage and the way which it is fashioned by women's studies programs who use this book as their koran."
ORWELL - 1984
"When i found out that the book was divided into sections and then subsections I nearly lost my mind. My best friend who is a year older than me couldn't decipher the intricate workings of George Orwell's writing ... My fear is octopus. even a picture reduces me to tears. I cannot even look a the marine bio textbook because there is an octopus on it. I could not survive in that world. In one word to describe this book.....detestable."
THE KORAN
"The Quran hates non-believers of their religion. They hate Americans too. (According to a news network, it speaks of over 100 references of hate towards Americans specifically)."
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