"I'm a high school student. Today, my English teacher said: 'The difference between sarcasm and irony is that sarcasm has to be mean, while irony is nice sarcasm.'"
"I'm totally opening my Goethe lessons with that when I have to cover him in class. 'Kids. Goethe sucks donkey dicks.'"
"Holden's incessant whining and indulgence in self-pity annoyed me. I wanted to say to him what I say to my son or my students: Look at your life and get over yourself."
"I know as an English teacher, I'm supposed to love The Canterbury Tales and there's a lot of language in there that's teachable, especially from an evolution of linguistics point of view. But it was just tough for me to get into. So there."
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD - THE GREAT GATSBY
"When my yr.11 class whined to our teacher over how much we hated this book, she replied with 'This is english advanced..you're not going to read fun,interesting books in english advanced..you're going to read boring, old novels'"
"Now I am a teacher and at one time found myself in a position where I had no choice but to assign my students _The Great Gatsby_ ... And don't you dare tell me I didn't get the book. Since I was supposed to be teaching the thing I read it three times (well, to be frank, two and half times; midway through my third reading, I gave up in disgust, both at myself, for having persisted so long, and at the novel itself). I mean, who really gives a fig for any of the characters in the book? Or for that stupid green light? Oooh, ah, and the Valley of Ashes! How very apocalyptic! And T. J. Mecklenburg, or whatever his name was. How could anybody really give a fig for any of it?"
"back in high school, after we were finished with the book, my english teacher told us he never understood why this book was so highly regarded. he called it 'stupid.' i had never agreed with a teacher until that moment."
SAMUEL BECKETT - WAITING FOR GODOT
"As an English teacher, an avid reader, a Lit major, et cetera, I am sure I am supposed to give this play six stars, but I was unimpressed. Severely. It feels more likely that this is an enormous hoax on the literary world than it is a legitimate piece of writing - as if in 40 or so years, the Beckett estate will reveal a letter saying something like, 'Just Kidding, y'all. It's garbage, and I know it'. The hat scene - surely cited as 'postmodern lunacy' or somesuch bilge in theatrical reviews, seems more like a tired Warner Brothers skit. Oh well."
HERMAN MELVILLE - BILLY BUDD
"I had to teach this book to juniors in high school and could never figure out why. It is a VERY difficult read and I absolutely hated the book until the end. I'm not sure if I would recommend it or not, but if so, I wouldn't recommend it to teenagers or even early college-aged students. It was very difficult."
"My A.P. English teacher decided that to pass her class we would have to read and take a test on Billy Budd, so we would be able to take the A.P. exam and pass it. This is a woman who appreciates good literature told us 'anyone who likes this book is crazy and should be shot.' needless to say I can't stand it. The only thing that perplexes me, is why people actually read it, why it's such a 'good' book."
SHAKESPEARE - JULIUS CAESAR
"I've never been a fan of reading Shakespeare. As a 10 gr. English teacher, I face the challenge of making relevant and exciting the reading of a play I don't find relevant or exciting."
CORMAC MCCARTHY - THE ROAD
(I DON'T REALLY THINK THIS IS A GOOD BOOK BUT THE QUOTE IS HORRIFYING SO HERE WE ARE)
"As an English teacher, I appreciated the imagery and the amazingly lyrical writing throughout the book. I will also admit to not being able to stop reading it, but not because I was enjoying it. This book was full of gruesome ideas and dark reality. Could this or would this happen after an apocalypse, I am convinced that it would, but I did not find the father continuing on with his son in this black, white, and shades of grey landscape inspiring or faith building."
MARK TWAIN - THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN
"I want to love this book, really I do. I'm an English teacher so shouldn't I love it."
"I read this book out a sense of responsibility to America's literary canon. I hadn't read it since middle school. I've taught high school for ten years, and I would not choose this book to read with an English class. I just don't think it's really that deep. Satirical, comic, adventurous, page-turner, yes, but deep, well no. There are other books that made me think more. The people in the country towns are depicted as lawless and base. Jim, while noble and kind, is stupid. Huck is a child swayed by what other people think, and not yet old enough to make his own convictions. Tom Sawyer is a foolish child whose antics cause pain for people. The women in the book are all kind but out of touch with reality and easily duped. There are a couple well educated, intelligent characters, but they are the exception to the rule. For such a long book, there's just not much meat there."
"I know, I know... I am an English teacher who doesn't like Mark Twain. It's a shame, but at least I will never force my students to read this boring book!"
SOPHOCLES - OEDIPUS REX
"This book is overrated, or at least my teacher overrated it. In the beginning of the story, the prophet tells Oedipus that he will live in sin (make love to) his mother. My teacher constantly said that we wouldn't be able to fathom how awesome the plot twist would be, however it was spoiled near the beginning (and if you've ever read these stories, the prophet is NEVER wrong. No matter what happens, their prophecies will not be stopped). We cant forget that the ending is DEPRESSING! Dont bother waiting until you read this story to roll your eyes and say 'THATS IT!?' because I'll tell you now. Oedipus unrealistically flies to get eaten by gods or something. No real reason, no real gain, no loss, just leaving his family for god(s)."
EMILY BRONTE - WUTHERING HEIGHTS
"Ugh. I don't have the level of concentration required to read this book right now. I made it up to like, page 70, mostly driven by guilt that I'm an English teacher and have never read this. Decided life is too short to trudge my way through Victorian sentences in a book where neither the characters nor the story interest me. I was, however, amused that the narrator used the word 'ejaculated' about 15 times in the first 20 pages to mean 'exclaimed.' ('"Wretched inmates!" I ejaculated mentally.') Otherwise, I was both bored and confused. I may come back to it someday, but probably not. I think I'll pick up the 3rd Twilight book instead."
"Very tedious. But on the bright side, now I can grade papers on this work intelligently."
SHAKESPEARE - ROMEO AND JULIET
"Geez... why do so many people insist that this is the PERFECT Shakespeare play for 9th graders? I don't think I can teach it again. HELP!!! I am drowning in a ridiculous love story that gets compared to gang warfare all the time."
"I don't even think Shakespeare wrote this one, it was probably one of those poseurs. Ugh! I had to teach this play and pretend I liked it! That was not fun."
"I am so so so tired of this play. It is an excellent introduction to Shakespeare for young readers (like the freshmen I teach it to) but it is defintely one of Shakespeare's weakest plays. (i.e What's up with all of the plot summary in the dialogue?)"
"I'm sick of this crummy work getting accolades from the literary adult world. Haven't kids suffered enough?"
CHILDREN CAN NEVER SUFFER ENOUGH
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