Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Emily Bronte - Wuthering Heights

"I decided it was time to look into this book, and boy am I sorry I did."

"I never expected this book to be as flagrantly, unforgivably bad as it was."

"I get the interpretation that as terrible as Heathcliff and Cathy are, it's their love that redeems them, and isn't that romantic."

"Every last word was idiotic and as empty as the first. But you know what grinds my gears even more than the fact that I wasted a week on this worthless pseudo-classic? It kills me that people not only mistake this hoax for real literature, but reference it for ROMANTIC value! Foaming at the mouth, marrying someone you don't love, wow.... now that's a level of romance lovers fantasize about achieving."

"This book could have ended halfway through, and while that wouldn't have made me like it any better, at least it wouldn't have earned itself a place on my Most! Hated! Books! Ever! list."

"First of all, this book is told in the most boring fashion ever, all from the point of view of one servant woman. She just drones on and on, and there is so much boring detail I could vomit.
I thumb my nose at literary criticism in the way of most uneducated lay people and say (insert unrefined farting noise made with mouth here) to Withering Heights."

"While this book was written beautifully and portrayed a wonderful romance I didn't really enjoy the book at all. Heathcliff, the main man, creeped me out. When he begged Catherine's spirit to stay with him I started to get a creeper vibe from him. I think it really is a wonderful thing this undying love he has for Catherine but to be that much in love that he has to beg her spirit to stay with him was really off putting for me. Anoter thing that struck m while reading this was his dying wish. Having his casket and Catherine's altered so that they could be together even after they were both dead was just gross! I may just be thinking like this because of the time period I've grown up in but that really is like nasty."

"The problem is that it only arouses my suspicion that Emily was a semi-intellectual, over-emotional, neurotic twit who wrote down a convoluted masturbation fantasy. The lass is touched in the head for sure."

"I honestly, had no preferred part of the book. Except for the part where Lockwood got attacked by the dogs. I also liked that he was attacked twice."

"I would never really reccomend this book to anyone, except for Osama Bin Laden. He can read this book. I honestly thought it was overrated, and an old version of a woman being overly permiscuous with herself. I reccomend this to anyone who can stay awake through anything. This book just moves to slow for the pace of the modern society's example of a 'good' book."

"Wuthering Heights was painful for me to read. I pushed through it because it is a classic, people discuss it, and I want to 'appear' intelligent (how am I doing?!?!?!)."

"As a book to read for pleasure this failed."

"Rarely have I been angrier with a book than I was with this one. This book, if I understand correctly, is actually required reading in our educational institutions. This, I believe, is the number one reason why young adults do not continue to read once they leave school. To be frank, if I was given this book as a young person and told it was an example of one of the great novels of all time and it was demanded of me to read and attempt appreciation of it, I also would probably not be reading novels today. I would have said to myself what I recently said after finishing this...thing...that this book SUCKS."

"I actually had to quit reading the book about 3/4 of the way through because it made me want to slit my wrists! lol."

"As many others have commented, using Nellie Dean to retell the story to new tenant Mr Lockwood ruins the book, at least for me. I can see the potential for the characters and relationships to be engaging and compelling, but the fact that we are shown Nellie's view of events that happened years ago, with lots of description of happenings but no real insight into motives, aims etc, makes the plot stale and somewhat removed. It's almost as bad as the 'and she woke up to find it had all been a dream' device. Not good, Bronte."

"Wuthering Heights does not make a very good graphic novel.

I'm probably biased because I 1) haven't actually read Wuthering Heights and 2) love reading graphic novels (including manga), but I don't think those should have been a problem."

"As far as I'm concerned, this book is the precursor to the modern romance novel, and as such it is unforgivably wretched. This is the literary equivalent of a Jimmy Buffet concert"

"Is it outdated? Am I not highbrow enough? Is it just a plodding, boring, frustrating book? Hmm. I'll go with number three ... Wuthering Heights. Check."

"I get that it was ahead of its time when it was published... But... Wow. Was that awful ... I pity the person who thought to label this piece of work a romance. He/she must have had a serious misconception on what romance was. There is nothing romantic whatsoever about this story. Nothing."

"For another, this is set on the moors. All books set on moors have depressing tones. I'm not just making a generalization, either. It's real."

"I knew I was in for some trouble when I was forced to re-read the first sentence a few times over and yet still had no idea of the true meaning of the words on the page."

THE FIRST SENTENCE OF WUTHERING HEIGHTS: "I have just returned from a visit to my landlord - the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with."

"I've *had* to read it about 3 times (Lit Degree), and every time it gets worse. I have to say honestly, that this wannabe-classic has no business playing in the major leagues of literature ... ultimately unredeemable ... I really believe this book is to blame for setting female writers back."

"You know those old black and white movies that everyone just loved in the 1930s and you watch it today and just don't see how it could have ever been great, then or now? This was how this book was for me. Most of the time I just didn't understand what the heck Bronte was talking about."

"And, uh, what's with having 2 narrators, one 20 years after the story takes place, who have a third hand account of the charcters? Just bad story telling. No wonder you used a pseudonym, Emily. Worst. Book. Ever."

"I am glad that I didn't have to read in school b/c I probably would have gotten an 'F' for 'flung it in the garbage'."


  1. That was hilarious! You should write all the time. I read this book at least fifty times. no joke. But I still enjoyed your pov.
    This narrator is completely unreliable to start. she was the servant and heard/saw a lot but missed a lot too probably so I find it frustrating. And intriguing...how did heathcliff become wealthy? How could Edgar and heathcliff still be in love with Cathy after all the pain she gave them?
    Try Washington square next...I can't wait to see what you have to say about that one.lol

  2. Love lists of people just-not-getting things, and this is one of the funniest I've seen. Thanks for putting it together. I've think I've just found a new favourite blog.